The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

i sometimes find the lack of compassion in the world disturbing. it is as if the world seems to suddenly forget their own failings and their own sins at the first opportunity to turn someone else into the victim of their self righteous fury. this "holier then thou art" mentality of the town i live in is sickening. you see there is a young girl, age 19 who faces prison, and rightfully so i might add. she is responsible for the death of her 2 year old son. however the death was accidental, not intentional, and therein lies the dilemma. it is at this point that everyone has allied against her, sinners forget themselves and suddenly they are saints, fighting a holy crusade against the devilry of this 19 year old girl. but let me explain my word choice in depth shall i? her son died after being left in a car and dying of the heat, while she made the choice to go to a party inside, and proceeded to fall asleep. as the facts are presented, this is not the first time she left him in the car. there lies the problem. is she a terrible mother? YES. was she inexcusably in the wrong? ABSOLUTELY. HOWEVER, as reported, this was not the first time she had done this. so it can be assumed logically and psychologically, that due to that history of repetition, that the expected result of her actions was that her son would be fine. now it is at this point you might say to yourself, "cody you sound to me like you are defending this girl for killing her son" but i beg your indulgence further, for i assure you that is not the case. now there are witnesses that report her leaving this child in that car many times, yet this is the first anyone seems to have heard of it. isnt that odd now? you see it seems to me that the ONLY problem here (aside from the dead child) is that there arent a few more cells filled up. how is it that this boy was allowed to suffer in that car and nobody else at that party did anything to help him, but still manages to testify that she does this a lot? how is it that it wasnt a problem before? this article mentions that the only person who brought this up to the girl was her father. everyone else seemed perfectly ok with her son's car seat being his babysitter up until he died, in which case now they have turned against her. would you like to know why i am defending this idiotic terrible and unfit mother to the small measure i am? because every day i see the same people. day by day, they pass me by making the same decisions. they showed up at my gas station i managed years ago, high on meth, neglecting their own kids. they buy more alcohol and return home to drink more. they drive home drunk from the bar with their friends and family in the car. they text and drive. they speed up and down the streets at night, racing their friends. and why? BECAUSE THE EXPECTED RESULT WAS NOT THE DEATH OF ANOTHER PERSON. that very reason is what all of these things have in common. those people driving drunk fully expect to make it home ok. and people are ok with that RIGHT up until thy crash and kill a family of 5. people turn a blind eye to the meth use until a young child dies because the parents hid the baby in a hole in the ground in their paranoid meth fueled delusions. people say " those dumb teenagers" RIGHT up until they crash the car going 100 mph and kill a family of five. my point in all of this, is that we should have been turning the blind eye in the first place. this girl should NEVER have been allowed to leave that child in the car even once. and nobody said anything after SEVERAL times and now he is dead. this kind of thing happens in various forms everywhere. and now my friends we arrive to the point of all of this. that this town put down the crack pipes, set the beer bottles and shot glasses down, pulled the cars over, and have suddenly been absolved of THEIR sins in order to condemn this girl for hers. this town is calling for her to die. to spend life in prison. for a thousand awful things. but where does that get anyone? theres already a dead child. was that not enough? we suddenly need more death? no. the prison time she faces is punishment enough, and she gets to live with that guilt. my opinion of this case would be different if she had deliberately murdered her son. but that isnt what happened here. what happened here is she made a stupid choice, just like everyone condeming her made stupid choices, and unfortunatley she didnt get lucky this time. you know what will happen now? the rest of the town will return to their crack pipes and whiskey, and continue their behaviors. because after all, THEY didnt kill a child...YET. i sincerely pray that i am wrong. i sincerely hope with all of my heart that God uses the death of this 2 year old boy to bring clarity to the minds of all of these hypocritical little sheep of the world. i hope things will change here. but i rather doubt it. make no mistake dear readers, that this crime occurred for 2 reasons. it occured firstly because the parents were terrible parents, and secondly because the friends and family of the parents ALLOWED it to happen. i pray it lives in thir consciences forever. but thats enough of my ranting for today. until next time!

i dont know what to say today. so instead of saying what is on my mind, ill list some songs that offer a glimpse into my soul today, as well as how i relate to them. ill try to post in my journal more often now. ill do my best to do so daily and not just when the darkness rises. leave a comment on what you prefer in my journals, poetry, personal entries, or lists of songs/whatever miscellaneous thing i decide on. without further ado, here is my list for today, and well as a short explanation of what speaks to me in the song today.

the day that never comes- metallica

the guitar intro before the first two verses really strikes me. there is something in the notes that evokes a sense of longing. whatever it is depends on you i guess.

Allure of The Earth - woods of Ypres

this song speaks to me lyrically. when it says the "allure of the earth" its quite literal. the tendancy to wish yourself reconnected and to be consecrated to the earth. to let everything go and give up and die. the lyrics " its so easy to get your fill" i think speak to anyone.

Across the stars- John Williams

this song has always spoken to me, ever since i was little. the powerful emotion, the sense of destiny, the sense of fullfilment of your heart.

i will fail you- Demon hunter

this song portrays the point of view of someone who has accepted the inevitable. you will fail. you are irrevocably a failure, and despite not wanting to fail someone, human nature denotes that you will.

Sleeping Sun- Nightwish

this one is beautiful, haunting, soothing, and almost unnerving at times. written about a solar eclipse, the title is literal in that the sun is perceived to be "sleeping quietly" during such an event. this song makes me think of a crisp october morning. i can smell the leaves, and the dying plants. i can feel the emotions running high, perhaps in anticipation for Halloween, or perhaps in exasperation at the ending of the warm months. its how i remember how i first moved here, how i felt, what has changed. (so much). it evokes feelings of regret as well.

Forever- BLutEngel

this song helps me in a strange sort of way. when i feel vulnerable, i like to listen to this song, or another one by this artist, and it helps me to visualize a sort of mask i can wer to hide my vulnerability. its like being able to wear a whole other persona completely opposite of what you are feeling that that moment. its no secret that i am somewhat of a Vampire Fanatic. i sleep in a coffin, im borderline nocturnal thanks to the nightshift, and because im not outside much im kind of white. the Vampiric nature of the lyrics helps me apply a sort of aggressiveness to my brain. one minute i am upset, the next i can "plug in" to this song and then youd think i was David from lost boys, or Lestat from Queen of the damned. again, i said it was wierd, but music has a way of helping me through all kinds of situations that most people would just get high or drunk to deal with.

Overburdened- Disturbed

this is the last one for today. this songs message speaks of so many people led astray and lied to, that when they died(presumably for the cause they thought was the right one) they find themselves in hell, and the image described is that hell is so "overburdened" that people werent even going directly to hell, they had to stand in wait in a giant line just to get in, and while doing so, wondered where it all went wrong. this song speaks to the part of me that wonders where things are going wrong in the world, and what goes on behind the curtain. it helps me to keep myself in check by saying "Question Everything" because not everything we believe is 100% truth.

anyway hope you enjoyed my input on these songs, and hopefully some of you found some new songs to listen to.
until next time everyone.