The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

i used to love him..but now i hate him and everything he has become....it was one of those things that happened so slowly i didnt even see it comming...untill one day he was gone and it was to late i couldnt do anything..or maybe i didnt do anything...i want you to stay but its all a fanticy if i think you could ever be what you were...what we are now is strangers and i hate you...do you like what im becoming...maybe im the one who changed..or didnt grow the same as you....im left in this world to wonder why...you dont care..im a memory to you



we sat down like we did every lunch time..shy towards each other but there were suttle hints,each to afariad to say how we felt...noing the other felt the same...he touched my leg..i smiled...he quickly pulled his hand away and giggled almost pretending it was all a joke..



we passed each other in the hall between 5&6th period...he asked me out....i kept walking and shouted back yes....then smiled as i walked down the hall trying not to look to proud but i couldnt help it i was proud and id never been happier cos i never thought he would do it...i loved him now more than ever



we went everywhere together and did everything togerther...well thats what i thought...he was getting into a few drugs..but hey whats the big deal its only a few pills here and there...i did it with him sometimes but it really just wasnt my thing it never really gave me a high and i like drinking...chilling with my drink a smoke and mates



i didnt relise he was shooting up...i didnt no it was every day...he seemed different...never really here or happy just a zombie...i guess school and work were getting to him...he has been working at macca's for 3 months now so i only see him on the weekend...every day at macca's they pushed off before work..then after,hestumbbled home and barley made through the door



that weekend the seen was dry and there was nothing no pills no weed no herion...he needed a fix and money means nothing when the streets are dry



i went to his house like i always did before we went out..i cant wait to see him..does he miss me as much as i miss him?

i entered the room the lights were out and he was shaking on the floor..i ran to his side to see what was wrong and he pushed me away i got up with a tear in my eye and asked what was wrong...he hit me again and again then took my bag..he tipped it on the floor and ate the panadole in it screaming for more...i grabbed my things and ran..i could hear his screams from down the street



the police showed up and he was taken away in an ambulance...i get it that wasnt him hitting me it was the drugs..the doctor checked me out i was ok so i went to him to tell him it would be ok and i would help him get better



he glared at me..it was cold...he must still love me thow..i didnt call the police..it wasnt my fault



he yelled at me and screamed get out...he said he never loved me and it was just i was just a thing he could fuck..i tried not to cry...its the drugs talking i no it is...i walked out and tried to call him everyday but he is still shooting up and still makes me feel like a whore



i moved on....i stayed in school never quiet the same...always thinking of what i could have done to stop him before it got out of control....its all my fault



its graduation im going to uni next year...i dont love any one or anything they will only hurt me and send me away i wish i was dead just so i dont feel this pain



he is dead he overdosed last fall...i was the only one at the funeral..his parents didnt even show up...his tombstone read



maybe god will find a way to heal you in heaven

because the boy who died was not your son

or your friend he was lost and this is the way god has

saved him from more pain

RIP...we still love you



if you loved him you would be here....if he loved me he would be here



the drugs help me forget him...i wont make his mistake im not that stupid



they boy told his friends at work he wouldnt be like them..he wasnt that stupid

he just wanted to relax and forget all the problems he was having at home and with his girlfirend...how can i tell her i dont like her like that when she loves me? i guess it is somthing to do on the weekend...ill just push off and forget about it for now...deal with it tomorrow.

bella was my best friend.But i try never to think about her.its only on certain nights,when im alone in my room,that i remember...



it was during christmas vacation last year when bella asked me to stay at her house overnight.she lived in a big gloomy house set way back from the road.she didnt want to be alone there for the night.her parents had gone to visit some friends and wouldnt be back till the next afternoon.bella said we could have a really good time without her parents around.



we did.at about 12:00 we decided to get dressed for bed.bella had gotten this velvet night robe for christmas that had a thick furry collar.it was blood red velvet and she looked like someone from a dracula movie in it.we had been watching teltvison in the living room,but then we turned it off.we hadnt noticed it before,but now the downstairs seemed to big,and almost sinister.



we started to go upstairs.then,all of a sudden we both ran up the steps to bella's room as if something was comming up behind us.after we closed the door we laughed to ourselfves.but neither one of us wanted to leave the room again.we sat down and started to talk.thats when we first head the noise.it sounded like someone sharpening a knife on an old emery stone



we stoped talking and both looked at each other,feeling really scared inside.the was a thick slience in the room.suddenly bella started laughing.she said she heard a sound like that in the house befor.she said it was prolly the shutters or something.that made me feel better,we started talking again,picking up our conversation like nothing happened.....SCRRITCH...SCRRITCH



bella got this wild look in her eyes,as though something horrible had come in her head.before i could catc her,she ran out of the room,switching the light off and slamming the door shut.i heard footsteps as she ran down the flight of stairs,and then..stop



i sat in the dark,sick with fright.i called out bella's name but my voice was answered by hushed silence.i didnt want to stay in the dark room alone,but even more i didnt want to go out into that other darkness.SCRRITCH



i heard it again,that discusting sound,then i heard bella's footsteps moving down the next and final flight of stairs.she went more slowly as if she really didnt want to.i heard her reach the bottom.i waited in the room,wondering what bella was doing.i told myself she must be alright.you see the noise had stopped right after i heard her rech the bottom of the stairs.bella must have fixed the shutter.maybe she had known for sure all the time.she acted strange to scare me.maybe she was sitting at the bottom of the starirs right now laughing at me



i got up and started towards the door,to turn on the light.but a feeling of fear swept over methat held me back,like a hand against my throat.i decided to wait wher i was till bella returned.i would wait there till her parents returned if necessary.nothing could make me leave the darkness for that darker unknown outside the room



time passed.my eras strained for a sound and my nerves tingled at imagined shadows.then i heard a slow shuffeling noise at the bottom of the stairs..was it bella? it had to be.yet the footsteps seemed to heavy.too deliberate.my heart began to pound and for a moment i lost control of my mind.it flew into the most sick and twister parts of my imagination and i shook with terror



then suddenly i new what i would do.bella's new night robe with the furry collar! i would wait for the door to openand then i would reach out and touch the persons neck.if i felt the furry collar,i would no it was bella,and get her backfor scaring me like this.if i didnt feel the fury collar....well there is nothing i could do



the shuffling footsteps had reached the second flight of stairs.i forced me feet to take the steps to get near the doorof the room.i felt my skin crawl on my back as the footsteps reached the top stair and moved down the hallway.i braced myself.the door creaked slightly as it swung open.i reached my arms out and hoped



my fingers closed around the thick fur of bella's collar.my body drained with relif..i didnt want to be mad or scare her back anymore but before i said anything i could hear her gargling as if she was chocking..i reached up to touch her face and as i did her head fell in my hands..and limp body colapsed on me i could sceam i could breath and as i saw the glimmer of a knife turn around a tear ran down my face



the footsteps ran down the stairs as the knife scrathed its way down the safety rail.it periced my ears and then there was a high picth laughed..it surroned me and faded into the distance...i was parralised with fear and shock...solitary tears streamed down my face till bella's parents got home...all the while i could hear the scrreitching and that high pitched laugh...taunting me..always with me.