Irish Golfer And The Leprachaun 11:32 Nov 26 2009
Times Read: 1,041
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.
He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy.
Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life."
Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing.
The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?"
The golfer says, "It's great! I hit under par every time."
"I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?"
"Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill" he replied.
The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?"
Now the golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well, maybe once or twice a week."
Floored the leprechaun stammers, "Once or twice a week?"
The golfer looks at him sheepishly and says, "Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."
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Misunderstood
A young Irish lass left home to take a job in London as a secretary. After a few years, she started sending money and nice gifts to her parents.
Twenty years later, she got a letter from her mother asking her to come home for a visit, as her father was long for this world. She soon arrived at her family's modest home, dressed to the nines.
Her father whispered to her mother, "Hmm. They're sure paying secretaries well in London these days!"
She took his hands and said, "Dad, I've wanted to tell you for years, but I just couldn't. I'm not a secretary - I'm a prostitute."
Her father gasped, clutched his heart, and dropped to the ground. The doctor was called, but it was obvious: the man had lost the will to live. Soon a priest was called for last rites.
As the mother wept, the daughter kneeled by her father's deathbed and sobbed, "I'm sorry, father. I should never have told you I'm a prostitute."
The old man smiled and sat bolt upright in bed. "Prostitute?!" he exclaimed with glee. "I thought you said 'Protestant!'"
COMMENTS
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Theban
15:03 Nov 26 2009
Very good
Freyja
17:38 Nov 26 2009
LMAOOOO
VAMPIREBLONDEE
18:18 Nov 26 2009
Now those had me rolling,lol
atyourwindow
22:00 Nov 26 2009
lol
dabbler
22:15 Nov 27 2009
Two of my favorite Religious jokes.. glad you liked them..