The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The day you realize who you really are is the worst day of your life cause you finally see what people see you as, and the felling of ripping tears at your heart causes you realize what you have done and that you mean nothing to the rest of the world you put yourself in. An pain that you never know possible comes in wave, like the feeling of vomit, the feeling of falling to the ground and never getting back up, like you're under the snow and no one see you but you see everyone and even in a crowd your being means nothing, and you walk with a hollow felling that won't going away and all you feel like doing is running, to run away all the feelings that washed over you and you wonder what you did to feel this pain, and then you realize who you are

Well out of all the things I could say, nothing comes to mind. that word nothing, it has consumed me since that last time I was here, and in the back of my mind I wonder did I come here to find something or someone, was it a way to end the pain that continues to reap at my heart. the feeling that have consume me, I don't even know how to express them or even if I could. As I cry I ask myself "Why do I cry and why do I cry alone?" and realized I could cry to the world cause the world doesn't know me, that which makes me who I really am, and I realized that I live in a world of lies to protect myself, from the people I call my friends, to strangers, and to myself. but why? Ever day I feel like I'm losing myself in the rain, washing all that I am. And the the brick wall that is around my heart continues to crack and break apart along with what it protects. Only to fall into the darkness I forced my heart to consume for hating all those around me for.....for not see me falling, there was no one to reach out and take my hand, so I continue to cry in my loneliness and angry and hate that I only caused.......