The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

crowgirl

Specter (12)

Posts: 235

The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 06:06:04 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 56



Ok, now I know that this look similar to the Jokes post by Curiousax1nite...but it is not.

1) I'm specifically looking for vampire jokes

2) Exceptionally bad one's at that!!!



And, since someone suggested I do this...I shall explain what it is, that I am doing.



I am collecting the worst vampire related jokes or sarcasm I can find for my profile, as I said I was bored with it and wanted to make it more unique.

Any jokes or humor supplied will have the persons name on it...so everyone can see who came up with it when they read my profile.

OK, let's get going folks!











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









deathnitegrl

Blood Drinker (19)

Posts: 2588





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 06:07:18 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 54



Hey Dracula I heard you suck!











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









STABB666

Viper (21)

Posts: 1227





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 06:40:41 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 44



Might if I take you out for a quick bite?



( that one got me into trouble.. :P )











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









gothpunkstarfighter12

Shaitan (18)

Posts: 901









Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 06:45:03 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 42



what do you call a vampire who's car breaks down halfway to the bloodbank?................."A CAB!!"











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









MissEvilness

Savage (17)

Posts: 240





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 07:50:42 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 33



Laughs, Crowgirl I cant think of a joke.. Let me think on it and come back...











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









crowgirl

Specter (12)

Posts: 235

Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 08:00:28 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 29



oky doky hun:) take your time:) um...lemme think. oh yeah *say to mate* "oh yeah! Dracula wrote me a letter!" *mate* "really? did you reply?" *you* "yeah, i said FANGS for the note!"

that was total crap. heh heh











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









deathnitegrl

Blood Drinker (19)

Posts: 2588





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 08:01:36 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 28



Why vampires have a pale look?

Because they no blood.



Why vampire's image is not reflected in the mirror?

Cause they're dead(wtf?)











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









STABB666

Viper (21)

Posts: 1227





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 08:25:46 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 25



What do you call a vampire with no teeth?



Sucker!











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









deathnitegrl

Blood Drinker (19)

Posts: 2588





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 08:31:00 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 22



What do vampires fear most?

tootache.











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









WiccansBloodyRose

Mosquito (2)

Posts: 10





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 16:20:33 - Oct 04 2005

Times viewed: 14



ohh i got a question hehehe if dracula can't see his relfection then how does he keep his hair so perfect?











--------------------------------------------------------------------------------









BeshadowedChild

Phantom (8)

Posts: 191





Re: The Worst: Vampire Jokes and Humor

Posted: 01:17:48 - Oct 05 2005

Times viewed: 8



Q: What is a vampire's favorite holiday?

A: Fangsgiving



Q: What does a vampire eat after having a sore tooth fixed?

A: The Dentist



Q: Why was Dracula thrown out of the movie theater?

A: He disturbed the audience with his coffin (coughing).

~Victims of Homophobia~



I am the girl kicked out of her home because I

confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.



I am the prostitute working the streets because

nobody will hire a transsexual woman.



I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight

through the painful, tear-filled nights.



We are the parents who buried our daughter long

before her time.



I am the man who died alone in the hospital because

they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.



I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of

being taken away from the two fathers who are the only

loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.



I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.



I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.



We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.



I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.



I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.



I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.



I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.



I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.



I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.



I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.



I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.



I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.



I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.



Put this in your journal if you believe homophobia is wrong.

FROM THE POST BYBLOODYINCANDESCENCE- this is the world we live in people! how could we have let it come to this?