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20 entries this month
I Keep Hoping06:32 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 382
I keep hoping that we can go back
Back to when we were friends
When I could look at you without regret
You broke my heart
Now when I see you
I want to cry and a little part of me dies inside
There's just to much pain
To try and fix it
I don't want to loose you
But I don't have a choice
It can never be the same
I will never look at you
With those happy loving eyes again
Instead they're filled with pain and agony
I realize that because of our mistake
We will never be friends again
That scares me
That makes me want to crawl in a hole
So I don't have to think about it
About you
I keep hoping
We can fix this
But we just can't
One Sided Love06:26 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 383
My heart skips a beat when I see you
All I want to do is be with you
Though you don't get it do you
That it hurts when I'm not around you
That when you're sad or mad
It hurts me too
That you break my heart
When you just don't get how much I care
That I'm falling and I don't know to do
That I feel like I'm crazy
Because I know you don't feel this way too
Numb06:13 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 384
She felt it again
The hallowness that consumed her
That left a cold feeling
That words could barely describe
All she wanted to do is write
Write the feelings she couldn't explain
For some reason she felt like crying
But she couldn't
The hallowness was eating her alive
And there was nothing she realized
She could really do
To make the cold feeling
Disappear
Never The Same04:49 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 387
Close your eyes
Maybe that will help
Or maybe it won't
It doesn't matter
You won't be the same
Either way
Farewell For Now
04:28 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 388
I would've given my life away
In stead of his taken away
He would've been the one to change the world
If he was given enough time
He was angel on earth
So innocent and loving
Now he's just an angel
His whole body was white as snow
And the purest soul
I believe in heaven after he was gone
I want to believe that he's truly in a better place
When my brother Gabriel a.k.a Gabe was a baby he was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, also all of his right side was paralyzed. They said he had months to live and he out lived their expectations. They said he wouldn't be able to walk, he danced and jumped. They said he wouldn't be able to talk, he talked and he used some sign language. Even though he was getting better the worst happened he was diagnosed with leukemia a side affect of the treatment he was getting. In 2004 Gabe became very ill and in the picture it shows him in the hospital. My mom took him home and as he was dying he was in my mom's arms surrounded by family.
Next time
04:24 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 389
I welcome you numbness
You make it so I can't feel pain
That he gives me
I welcome you darkness
You make it so I can vent
What he gives me
I welcome you anger
You make it so I can have revenge
I give him
Next time I will be ready
I'm Done With You
04:21 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 390
One day you tell me you love me
The next you tell me you don't want me
You tell me not to get to attached
I'm done with you
I am done with your lies
I will move on
And when come crawling to me
I will tell you I don't want you
To not get to attached
I will turn my back on you
As you did to me
I won't feel anything for you
Like you didn't for me
I will show you no kindness
I will erase you from my life
You will be a mistake
As I was yours
I'm done with you
I am done with your lies
I'm Not Weak
04:19 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 391
Your explanations are weak
Your running out of time
Before I pull the trigger
Showing the true side of you
Don't think I'm weak
Because I feel
It just means I'm stronger than you
But you already knew that
Sweat drips down from your forehead
My eyes as cold as yours were
Before I got the courage
To stand up for myself
Before I realized I didn't have to take this abuse
My Choice of Weapon
04:16 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 392
My words are my weapons
My poems are my swords
They will cut through you
Making your jaw drop
You see me as weak
But with my words
I am your nightmare
With my words you will feel all emotions
At once
My words are my weapons
My poems are my swords
You Hurt Me
04:13 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 393
You broke up with me
Yet you say you still love me
You say you don't want to see me in pain
Yet your the one to cause it
You try to act like nothing never happened
Like you didn't break my heart
But you did
You try to hug me
But I want to be alone
I want to be away from you
The Forest Calls
04:08 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 394
The black mist is creeping closer
You run as fast as you can
Though it's not enough to escape it
The forest cries
Come back home
Come back home
You breathe the oaky air
The wind whipping past you
Whispering your fate
The forest cries
Come back home
Come back home
It's all dark around you
Your running out of time
The clock ticks on by
The forest beggs
Come back home
Where you belong
Come back home
You stop and begin to cry
The mist begins to cover you
Knowing you welcome it
As it slices through your skin
The forest beggs
Don't leave home
I need you home
Dear Father
04:06 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 395
The heat of your words
Burn through my heart
The hate in your eyes
Kills me inside
I stand there
Silent tears roll down my cheek
You told me you loved me
That was just a lie
You said you’d protect me
You never did
When I needed you the most
You were far away
When it was the holidays
You never even called
As I grew up
You never cared
You yelled at me
Scared me every time I saw you
You are the monster in my nightmares
I let you control me and hurt me
I let you make me feel weak
No more
I will get stronger
In The Eyes of A Cutter
04:05 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 396
Another deep slice on my wrist
Ever since you left
I haven’t done anything else
You were everything to me
Yet you said good-bye forever
I take the broken glass to my heart
I cut a broken heart where my heart was
Blood drips down my chest
The scare will be there forever
For everyone to see
What you did to me
The pain from the cuts helps me
It numbs the pain you caused
I will never be the same
Ever since you left me
I retrace the heart
Each time going deeper
Where my heart used to be
That One Mistake
04:04 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 397
One mistake
That’s all it takes
For your dreams to be taken away
That’s what I thought
But is that really the truth
Dreams can be wrong
They can be paused
They can runaway from you
But they can’t be taken away from you
Yes you can make a mistake
That will make it more challenging to get to your dream
But that doesn’t mean that dream has been taken
In Love
04:01 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 398
I've been hurt by every man in my life
Except for you
I didn't know what love felt like
Until I met you
I don't know what I'd do without you
You are the only guy I have ever fully trusted
I've given you my heart and soul
Every time you say I love you
I know you mean it
I've been hurt by every man in my life
Except for you
The Non Stop Pain
03:59 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 399
I look just a little hurt on the outside
But in the inside I'm breaking
I don't want to hurt you
I'm sorry I can't be the perfect girl
I tried and I failed
Just like I do with everything else
I'm an emotional wreck
I don't want you to deal with that
You deserve better than this
Better than me
I love you
I always will
But my love is warped
Warped by my past
The things that make it so hard for me to love
I ruined something good
Just by being me
I look just a little hurt on the outside
But in the inside I'm breaking
This Part
03:57 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 400
I hate this part
This part where he moves on
Even thogh I haven't
He talks about her
Even though he knows it hurts me
You can see it in his eyes when he looks at me
I can't get over him
No matter how much I try
I grow distant with my friends
Numb with pain
People don't get it
When I sit alone
Head down so my eyes don't wonder to him
While he's with her playing around
Unaware of the ach in my heart
I hate this part
This part where he moves on
Boys Be Men
03:56 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 402
Guys flirt with me
Tell me that they like me
Then they say they just want to be friends
Yet they still flirt with me
Is there something wrong with me
That tell guys they can take advantage of me
Or do I attract those kinds of guys
Either way it has to stop
My ego and heart has been hurt way to many times before
I want a guy to stay with me
Not make excuses before we even start
You either want me more then a friend or not
Please make up your mind
Diary of A Cutter
03:54 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 403
It's coming again
The painful numbness
The feeling to cut
It washes over me
I take the knife to my wrist
It goes deep
The blood slowly appears
I know I shouldn't be doing it
It's like an addiction
It's hard to stop once you start
Some people don't understand
They say to just stop
It's never that easy
There's a reason I cut
A reason I'm depressed
I just try to hide
Just like my scars
I know I shouldn't
But it's coming again
The painful numbness
All Alone
03:52 Nov 08 2012
Times Read: 405
I feel so empty
No one wants to be with me
I'm all alone
I will always be this way
I'm destined to have one-sided love
Never both
My heart gets broken so many times
Yet I can't give up
Can't stop looking for love
No matter how many times I try not to
Love is my demise
For I can't survive the pain
Of getting my heart broken again
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