The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A Friend....

(A)ccepts you as you are

(B)elieves in .."you.."

(C)alls you just to say .."HI.."

(D)oesn..'t give up on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

(F)orgives your mistakes

(G)ives unconditionally

(H)elps you

(I)nvites you over

(J)ust .."be.." with you

(K)eeps you close at heart

(L)oves you for who you are

(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges

(O)ffer support

(P)icks you up

(Q)uiets your fears

(R)aises your spirits

(S)ays nice things about you

(T)ells you the truth when you need it

(U)nderstands you

(V)alues you

(W)alks beside you

(X)-plains thing you don..'t understand

(Y)ells when you won..'t listen and

(Z)aps you back to reality,

whats minnie w/out mickey?

Whats tigger w/out pooh?

whats patrick w/out sponge bob?

whats me w/out YOU???

PASS IT ON TO EVERYONE YOU CONSIDER A FRIEND OR WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AS A FRIEND SEE HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET IT BACK

send to 10 ppl u love or friends u never wanna lose!!!. including me (I hope!)""

if kisses were water, i would give u a sea.



if hugs were leaves, i would give u a tree.



if life was a planet, i will give u a galaxy.



if friendship is life, i will give u mine.



[ worlds best friend week ]



send this message to all your good friends



even me,if i am one of them.



see how many u get back.



if u get more then 3, you are really loveable

Ladies you will love this. Gentlemen please pass it on to your female

friends.



Subject: Wax is not our Friend



WAX is Not your Friend

CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I almost

cried

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of

easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and

now...the wax.



My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix

dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring

painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the

waxing

kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise:

the bathroom.



It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot

wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and

you

peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you

pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean,

I'm

not a genius,

but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.



(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each

other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks

in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold

wax,"

yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it

tight and

pull.



It works!



OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this!



Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all

wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I

sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting

championship.



I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same

procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my

bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching

down

to the inside of my butt cheek.



(Yes, it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!



Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off

half the strip. ****!!!

Another deep breath and RRIIPP!!

Everything is swirly and spotted.



I think may pass out...must stay conscious..

Do I hear crashing drums???



Breathe, breathe...

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has

caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I

hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.



Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???



Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.



I touch. I am touching wax.

****!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which

is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.



Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still

propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my

foot

down.

DANG!!!!!!!!



I hear the slamming of a cell door.



"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!



Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to

do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop.

My head may pop off!"



What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in,

immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently

wipe it off, right???



WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to

torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.



Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued

together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of

the

tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold

wax.



So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had

cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a

phone put in the bathroom!!!!!



I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has

some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation

starter -

"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the

tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for

removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to

know

exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the

rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!!

Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.



While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the

wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie

goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot

water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!



By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike

and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling

for this event.



My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving

grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What

do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!



The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my

friend.



It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.



"IT WORKS!! It works!!"



I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.



I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to

my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF

IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing

hurts.



I could have amputated my own leg at this point.



Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Now that's funny

..

Notttttttttt



Send this on to other ladies who need a good laugh

Each year he sent her roses,

and the note would always say,

I love you even more this year,

than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow,

with every passing year."



She knew this was the last time

that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses

in advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know,

that he would pass away.



Â

He always liked to do things early,

way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy,

everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and

placed them in a very special vase.



Then, sat the vase beside

the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours,

In her husband's favorite chair.

While staring at his picture,

and the roses sitting there.



A year went by, and it was

to live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude,

that had become her fate.



Then, the very hour,

The doorbell rang, and there

were roses sitting by her door.





She brought the roses in,

and then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone,

to call the florist shop.



The owner answered, and she asked him,

if he would explain, Why would someone

do this to her, causing her such pain?



"I know your husband passed away,

more than a year ago,"

The owner said,

"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.



The flowers you received today,

were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead,

he left nothing to chance.



There is a standing order,

that I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance,

you'll get them every year.



There also is another thing,

that I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,

that's the card that should be sent to you the following year."



She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking,

as she slowly reached to get the card.



Inside the card, she saw that he

had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence,



this is what he wrote...



"Hello my love, I know it's been a year

since I've been gone.

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to

overcome.

I know it must be lonely,

and the pain is very real.

Or if it was the other way,

I know how I would feel.



The love we shared made everything

so beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say,

you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover,

you fulfilled my every need.

I know it's only been a year,

but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy,

even when you shed your tears.



That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses,

think of all the happiness that we had together,

and how both of us were blessed.



I have always loved you and

I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on,

you have some living still.





Please...try to find happiness,

while living out your days.

I know it is not easy,

but I hope you find some ways.



The roses will come every year,

and they will only stop,

When your door's not answered,

when the florist stops to knock.





He will come five times that day,

in case you have gone out.

But after his last visit,

he will know without a doubt!

To take the roses to the place,

where I've instructed him

and place the roses where we are,

together once again.





Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.







Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.



Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for you to open it.





This is Forever Friendship.

This is the sacred RED ROSE.

You MUST pass this rose on to at least 5 people within

the hour of

receiving this rose.



After you do, make a wish.

If you have passed it on, your wish will come true and love

will come your way shortly.

If not your life will stay the same as it has always been.



Just be nice & pass it on....May we all be loved so much.



Friend if I don't get this back I can take a hint!

How many people actually have 8 true friends?