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It has been a long time since I felt safe and slept well.



I sleep in short burst, it has to do with the emptiness I feel, never hungry, never truley loved, never wanted, a life destructing personality.



When I think my lifes complete it seems I ignore all the red flags. I try to make it work, life isnt about what you can make work it is about being happy and complete. Life is short, a friend of mine commited suicide a couple days ago she was 27, I ask myself the age old question what could I have done to prevent this from happening? Well as a psychology major, the answer is irrelavant, you can't help them.

It is heart breaking we all feel we can help the world. we can't only ourselves and we better do a good job cause a hundred years really isn't very long.

We should love often and appreciate those little things we cherish, friends, family, the sun, the moon at its clearest point, the stars, and the changes in the seasons.



The things I appreciate comes short of words. When I'm walking on a path to admire beauty, I hear the birds and the leaves behind me scurry like someone is there with me. I see a shadow and look around, I hear a whisper when no- one is there, anm I crazy or is this nature talking?



I love watching the roses bloom, I get up and they are small buds, they have a little dew from the humidity outside. I have a cup of coffee and look again and they opened a little to drink the dew that was there before. By night they are in full bloom, The next day one petal starts to whither and so on. This is life how short it is. I feel so alone at times but I'll take a walk and feel complete. just being there in nature just hearing the sunrise and fall I get lost in my thoughts.

I will be putting my awards here.