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It's a terrible burden, but I have chosen this. There is no pain other than your own thought of regret but the peace of mind is greater.



I have found that being alone is peaceful and desireable but I'm empty and missing the companionship part of it, but I'm glad to be alive and well , lol if this is being alive all alone hmm, miss going out partying and hanging with friends. I miss being held til I fell asleep, I miss being made love too. Oh do I miss all of those things but when its the right time it will happen. Right?



10/12/12



I have a emptiness that goes forever, many can understand but don't know how I feel. Its a loss of a loved or no soulmate , sitting alone in my apartment everynite and going to bed looking at the large bed sleeping alone no-one to hole me just lying there waiting for sleep.



I have found that watching home improvement shows are bad, they depress me more.



I don't know if there is anyone out there for me maybe I have had all the love I will have, life is so empty and tasteless.



I guess you are wandering what I am going on about: well The relationship I was in( mind you it was a very mentally tring one) but it is over and I ended it. I am taking a new path with my life and hope it is the right choice, I truley want to be happy and I want love in my life, but there is alot of not so kind people out there.



The funny thing with this last relationship my abilities have bloomed that I thought I buried a long time ago. Well thats all for now.