The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I need to find out who I can call to talk to about this. There is something peculiar about my washing machine. I put the dirty laundry in, soap, fabric softener, whatever else, set the cycle, hit the Start button, and everything starts out OK. After a few minutes the cycle stops and the time indicator on the washing machine will be blinking “01”, and the Start button will be flashing. I hit the Start button again and the machine will start again, now showing the remaining time to be something like 17 minutes. It will operate down to 12 minutes, then stop, again with the flashing “01”. Now when I hit the Start button it will show the remaining time to be 26 minutes, more than it was the last time it stopped. It will do thi9s repeatedly during the cycle, often adding more time than the entire cycle should take.



My washing machine sent my laundry BACKARDS IN TIME! Yes, my washing machine is a time machine. I don’t know how it does it, or why, but my clothes have returned to the past, to an earlier part of the washing cycle.



Maybe I made a critical error in setting up my laundry and the machine is giving me a chance to correct it. Maybe I have done something so very, very wrong that a higher power is giving me a chance to make it right. I go over it in my head every time…separate the laundry, pre-treat, set the cycle, choose a temperature, soap, softener, start. I don’t know what I could be doing wrong.



MAYBE…no, it couldn’t be…maybe my clothes are being transported to a FUTURE washing cycle…one where I happen to have the exact same combination of clothes in the machine. Whoa, if that isn’t evidence of things being controlled by a higher power, I don’t know what is!



There is only one way to tell. I know what you’re thinking: why don’t I put a watch that shows the day/date in with my laundry and see what it shows when the cycle completes? I tried that. Well, actually it was an accident. How many people wash their watch like that on purpose? Just as predicted, the watch didn’t survive the cycle. It may have been the soapy water, it may have been the agitation cycle, it may have been something in the space/time continuum. Who am I to decide?



So my next step is obvious; I have to get a SCUBA tank and ride the cycle out myself. Yes, this will require altering the washing machine slightly, but It will be worth it in the name of science and exploration.



I will keep you posted on the results of my journey. Now, can I get anyone to hit the Start button again when this thing stops?

COMMENTS

-

---

Joli
16:08 Sep 29 2008

If it works, can I ride your dirty laundry back to the late 80s...damn, my butt looked good then!

---

birra
16:26 Sep 29 2008

Have you tried rebooting the washing machine? If not, please, reboot now...

---

Oceanne
22:06 Oct 07 2008

Feed it socks.

---

POST COMMENT

Morrigon has figured out what (one of) my problem(s) is:



There are two celestial houses that rule my life: the bureaucratic God of the Department of Redundancy Department, and the obnoxious God of Endless Cycles that Defeat the Purpose.

COMMENTS

-

---

Morrigon
00:11 Sep 24 2008

Just trying to clear things up around here. *tips hat*

---

MysticMoon
00:31 Sep 24 2008

i'm glad someone helped you figure it out



Thanks morrigon :)

---

POST COMMENT

I miss my father. He used to wrestle with us kids when we were growing up. What impressed me the most was his hand strength. My father wasn’t a large or muscular man, but he was wiry. Even when I was in college and much larger than him, he could get a hold of me in his powerful grip and there was little or nothing I could do about it.



A couple of years before cancer took him he came to visit me in Texas. He found a tennis ball in my garage that had lost its pressure, but there were no holes in it. He looked at it for a second, compressed it slightly in one hand, then dug the fingers of both hands into it and ripped it in two. He was 56.



I will always envy him his hand strength. I really miss my father.