captainglobehead's Vampire Journal

captainglobehead's Journal

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21:16 May 22 2009
Times Read: 743

Before me sits a blank page.

I prepare to write, but nothing comes.

I’ve finished my work; I’ve shut out distractions.

But nothing comes.

I’ve sharpened my pencil…twice. I like this pencil. It is my favorite instrument to write with. A mechanical drafting pencil; thicker than most; German made. Comfortable in my large hand. Gripping narrow or thin pencils cramp my hand. This is a man’s pencil, make for broad, sweeping strokes. My hands are no longer capable of minute and intricate detail. I’ve had this drafting pencil so long that the paint has worn off most of it. Even the engraved letters on the side are barely distinguishable anymore.

I prefer the feel of writing with a pencil to the feel of a pen. Rollerball, ballpoint, fountain pen, marker…it doesn’t matter. I even prefer a good pencil over my PC. I like the feel of the graphite point, slightly rounded from use, as it rubs over the paper, leaving a trail of gray.

I make fewer mistakes writing in pencil. I don’t know why. When I write in pen I constantly make mistakes; misspellings, grammar, punctuation, over and over. Maybe it’s because the ink is permanent, and subconsciously I know that any mistakes have to be crossed out, whited out, or I have to start over. I know a pencil mistake can be erased, so I relax more when I write. I’m not sure I even have a pencil eraser in my office.

When I type on my PC, misspellings, grammar and punctuation mistakes are easily corrected, but I have to have someone proof-read my work because I have a tendency to try to type as fast as I compose in my head, and sometimes I leave out entire words.

No, I will keep writing with my pencil. I refuse to come out of the cave and join the 21st century.

And here I sit before a blank page.