The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

soemtimes i feel like no matter what i do , nothing is ever going to be good enough.. i want to surrender my life and give into deaths cold embrace. i wonder what people see when they look into my eyes, do they see the pain that i hide day in and day out sure i talk about everything that bothers me but the real pain remains beneath , i keep it deep inside me as if i was portecting a thing that no one can understand.. complenments from strangers warm my heart as i think maybe jsut maybe they saw a glimpse of me who i really am and if only the rest of the world could take the time to see me, or should i just remain invisable, no one knows that i havea heart that is so ful of love and so wantign to give all my love to someone that i know will give it in return.. so my heart is heavy and my mind is heavy with sorrow and sometimes i just want to give up lay my self to rest, but i keep pushing on and keep faith that one day i will be ok and someoen out thier will see me for who i really am...

The darkness follows be like a dark cloud, every time i feel as if i have found my way the road twists and directs me further from the things i have known, how did i come to this spot why am i here.. my mind is racing a thousand miles aminute with some thoughts clear and some thoughts clouded.. my heart sinks in sorrow for i know not now what is real and what is fantasy.. all i have ever wanted is to be free, but a part of my life will not let that be.. something lost amounsgt the rummble of a life that was past , and somehow trying to resurface in my presence.. A lost love calls to me now not from the grave but from another realm, is he true or will he deceive me to scared to move to frightend to make a move,. should i leap or should i stay i want very much to see his face, i hear his voice as a i sleep the only way he can come to me, as i dream i journey to a world where everything as it should be, but when i wake i enter back to this world where i feel so lost.. nothing is right nothing is wrong, so many times i have thought should i take me life? or should i live this life out and pray that my love and i will be returned to together in the next life that we w ill share.. i am so tired of being unsure and forever being lost within a world that makes no sense to me not anymore...