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So my friend says, "Normal is all relative."



And I said, "Uh huh, cause there ain't a damn normal relative in my family tree."



She didn't get it.

COMMENTS

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VRsZombie
00:15 Jan 29 2013

True for my family. That's for fucking sure!

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birra
00:49 Jan 29 2013

Ha!

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POST COMMENT

I am no longer interested in your personal life. You've proved that you're going to screw it up regardless of the (totally solicited) advice I give you. For months I've backed away and haven't even asked, "So what's going on?" I have no idea who you're dating, where you go or how you spend your time. And I don't want to know.

Now, you're sitting on this powder keg with a lit match and you're blaming me because I haven't been around enough. You know where I am. You have my number, and just for the record, you got yourself into this shit, so get yourself out!!!!

Attorney: So you didn't find any easements across or through my clients property?



Me: Across and through are pretty much the same thing when you're speaking of easements. But no, I didn't find one.



Attorney: So you didn't locate one?



Me: No, I did not.



Attorney: Are you sure?



Me: I'm positive.



Attorney takes out plat of subject property. Court notes this as exhibit "B". Attorney holds the plat up for me to see and asks, "If you didn't find any easements across my client's property, then what is this?

(he points to a broken line on said plat with little hash marks going through it.)



Me: That would be a fence.



Attorney: How do you know it's a fence and not an easement?



Me: (points to a little paragraph in the corner of the plat) Because in the key it says.."This symbol represents a fence on the tract."



Attorney looks at the little paragraph....coughs, sniffs really hard and says, Oh....oh, so it does.



Me: Are there any other symbols you would like me to explain to you?



Attorney: Smirks at me and says, No more questions your Honor.



Uh huh......and he makes $350. and hour.

COMMENTS

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RedQueen
20:09 Jan 25 2013

I love when lawyers make asses of themselves. Like the one who htought he could corner me, a 30 year veteran of being behind the bar, as to what constituted "being drunk" and being "incapacitated".



He lost the argument with me, then lost the one he had with the judge in chambers, and then they called a mistrial.



Never fuck with a redheaded bartender.

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brileybeauford666
00:03 Jan 26 2013

Yeah, I love knocking the arrogant ones down a peg or two.

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birra
13:36 Jan 26 2013

HAHA!



Did you find any railroad tracks on the property?Because there is this other dotted line here that says "sewer" next to it....

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brileybeauford666
23:29 Feb 06 2013

B, did you go to law school too? hehe

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POST COMMENT

Don't be such a puss. Grow a backbone. George Washington is rolling over in his grave. Don't make me get my gun!!!!!!!!

This is it plain and simple:



I have guns. I control them. And would you like me to tell you why? Ok, I will. They don't have a computer chip in them that is smarter than me. They are freakin guns. They are locked up and no one has access to them except me. If you get shot by one of my guns, it's because you threatened me, my home or my life. I will not shoot you for trying to sell me cookies or even if you are a door to door religious salesman and you want to save my soul. However, if you attempt to hurt me or my loved ones in anyway, I'll treat you just like a zombie. I will shoot you in the head and ask your name later. My gun will only kill you if you try to kill me first. PERIOD! Now can we please move on?

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Sabastianthebat
00:38 Jan 17 2013

I'm with you "over it" and the fact of you're right to protect oneself or loved ones where you live. Its so humorous to me how people & the govt have this reality that if they inflict stricter gun laws or plainly take them away from citizens it will solve the issues of psycho ones killing people. Wrong! Sillyness indeed. Outlawed or not people who are losing there reality will pay tribute to finding a way to kill others if they really want too. Plain and simple humans are the threat of our existence not weapons. You don't have to own a gun to kill massive amounts of people.

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POST COMMENT

"The Devil Went Down To Georgia"



Am I the only one who thinks the Devil beat Johnny in that fiddle competition?



I mean seriously. "Chicken in the bread pan pickin out dough", does not trump a band of demons and fire flying from the Devi's finger tips when he rosened up his bow.

COMMENTS

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birra
00:12 Jan 11 2013

I totally dug what the devil was playing....



...that might just be the theme of my life, really.

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VRsZombie
12:10 Jan 11 2013

Johnny lost....PERIOD!

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brileybeauford666
18:22 Jan 25 2013

Thank you! Finally!

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POST COMMENT

I don't understand when people feel intitled. I've worked my ass off since I was 15 years old. I have what I have because I worked for it. I can't comprehend any other way.

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deathnitegrl
08:08 Jan 05 2013

more people should be like you.

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POST COMMENT

Happy New Year everyone. I wish you all the blessings this world can deliver. This is still one of my most favorite places to come. Thank you all for hanging in there with me. Life can be so demanding...and right now I have to kneel to it's whims. But don't give up on me...I'll be back. I promise.