The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

1. Why would you have sex with a vampire?

A.)Because they are handsome, nocturnal lovers of the night and it is every woman’s goal to have sex just once in their lifetime with one.

B.)Because one particular vampire saved your life and now he feels like you “owe him”.

C.)They are lonely creatures of the night, so any love you offer is more “pity sex” than anything.

D.) So that you can have something interesting to post on myspace.





2. Why would you have sex with a werewolf?

A.) Because you were always curious about beastiality and this is as close as you’ll ever get.

B.) Hey, you just stooped over to pick up the evening paper from the porch, you had no idea that werewolf was behind you and in heat!

C.) Because his sexual energy has absolutely no end and he doesn’t need Viagra.

D.) He went all night long without poohing on the carpet, you have to give him some kind of a reward and he doesn’t want a dog chew.





3. You are on a date with a serial killer, you would:

A.) Cringe, because Jason Voorhees brought along his dead mother and she’s still watching you.

B.) Get nowhere with Freddy Krueger, for you are over the age of 18…way too old for him!

C.) Put on your “old lady face” along with Leatherface and help him cook headcheese in the kitchen.

D.) Snuggle with Pinhead and get all those lip piercings you’ve always wanted.





4. You are on a lover’s weekend in the woods with Bruce Campbell in the evil dead cabin, putting on a sexy night gown in one of the bedrooms and you just happen to see the Necronomicon on the floor, you would:

A.) Be like Brenda Bailey and say “Freaking cool!” sit down and begin reading incantations.

B.) Casually kick the book under the bed, ain’t no zombies going to ruin this weekend.

C.) Show the book to Bruce and ask him why he doesn’t just read a playboy like any other normal American guy.

D.) Take it with you to the can, it’ll make interesting reading while you take a pooh.

i swear to God everytime i run my bath water i find dried up flies and knats and mosquitoes lying on the bottom. Where the heck are the dead bugs coming from?

I look up and I see a funnel type web in the farthest corner of the bathroom, right above the tub.

I thought, "Naw."

But...

low and behold, I actually caught that culprit! she scooted a web-wrapped dried up fly carcass to the edge of the web and then she tossed it out, it lands in my bath tub, thus ends the mystery of the dead bugs...but still.

Has she no consideration? i dont want to kill her, because she's a living creature, plus she does keep the mosquito population under control.

we need to come up with some kind of compromise here...

BTW, i call her "May", she's single like me as she just recently ate her boyfriend.

She needs to open a profile here on VR since she's technically a tiny 8-legged vampire.

yeah, call me a dumbass. I went back to the casino, but at least this time I broke even. Spend 60$ and walked away with 60...whew, thank goodness.

I ran into my neighbor, Randy there. I watched him play the SAME 2 cent slot that I was at and he won 68$....yeah 68 dollars after playing 2 cents.

Well, holy shit fire! lol!

I went back to the casino with my mother and ate the champagne brunch and then I actually had the nerve to go back out to the gaming floor and hit the slots. I lost another 3$, my mother lost 6$...but we just kept putting the dollar bills back in and trying again...sheesh, will we never learn?

ok, anybody who loves to read free horror stories and enjoy free gruesome art, my free horror zone is now open.

Now it's still kind of empty, but as soon as I sort through more of my email, I'll get more stories posted.

Also, if anyone here would like to see their horror art, stories, poetry and what-not on display, please email me and I'll be happy to post them on my site.

to read these freaky stories, go to http://brendabaileyhorrorotica.yolasite.com

along the index (will be on ur left) click FREE HORROR FICTION

also, while ur there, feel free to order one of my erotic horror novels.

I am posting an area on my official website devoted to free horror stories by incredibly talented independent authors. That's right, it's free.

I opened a charter online last week asking for horror stories to be donated to my site and the response I got was so overwhelming, I am still sorting through all the stories and artwork.

I am working on the site right now and as soon as it is up and ready, I will let everyone know.