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So I don't know what to do anymore, I just feel like giving up. No one cares anymore, and its not like they ever really did. It was all a lie, and it always will be. No one loves me, not even my own family, and I can't stand being hated and judged by a world of people who don't even know me. The hatred that courses through me for those around me that are happy, it is overwhelming and I can't control myself anymore. I hate my life and I hate everyone just because everyone hates me. I am tired of trying so hard everyday just to wake up, because at least in my dreams Im not alone, in my dreams someone loves me. I sit in my room every night and just watch myself as I put metal to skin and allow my life to pour out, uncaring and unfazed by anything. I am numb and I just want to disappear. I don't want to live anymore and yet there is something in the back of my mind that reminds me not to cut too deep, not to take to many pills, not to do what I want to do most, die. Im not sure what this voice is in my mind that keeps me alive, but with every passing day it gets more and more faint. And one day it will be gone, just like me.