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you have no right to say that you know what i'm going through when you don't even know the real me.

i hate the way you are and how you try to act like my friend when i can see you picking me apart with your eyes



you think you know us simply becuase your read Jeanna's journals and in fact you don't know us at all.



i wish you would get off your high horses and stop treating me like your pet...i'm not your fucking dog



WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND MELISSIA WAS A LONG TIME AGO AND IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSSINESS



so don't talk shit about what you know nothing about.

you don't know what happened between us and i wish you'd stop trying to figure me out



i'm starting to lost my patience with you, you igonate little girl



when you meddle in the affairs of someone else's past then your crossing the line



Honesty? YOU WANT HONESTY?

fine this is what i think



you don't know what real love is, you've not the singleist clue as to what it is or how it feels so stop pretending



you don't know what it's like to truly find someone you can trust with your body and soul and know that they REALLY love you and then end up losing them and everything that you hold dear



i've buryied two lovers, three childern and i don't plan on another so go away becuase really...your bothering me...i don't have time to explain my personal life to someone who thinks she's everything and knows everyone



for as long as i live i don't ever want to hear you talk about me like you know me cause you have no idea what i am or what i'm capable of



you say that you don't belive people when they say they love you, that it's lost it's meaning

so tell me why do you say it to me ?

are you trying to win me back with your bullshit and all your drama?



i'm sorry that you've had a bad life but that gives you no right to go around analyzing others life and say what you want to about it



Jeanna might not have the guts to tell you this but i will

Jeanna is to nice of a person and doesn't want to hurt your feelings but frankly i don't give a damn anymore if i do or not .

i'm tired of being nice to you and letting your comments slide



you told me you lost respect for me and never wanted to see me again yet here you are again trying to slide back into my life



you need to get your shit stright before you try to mess with someone



if this is in anyway mean or hurts your feelings....then i've no emotion or tears to shed with you for i'm tired of being nice and getting walked on afterwards



be jeanna's friend all you want ..i don't care

but you've crossed the line in my book



i tried to warn you but you just didn't listen when i told you, you were going too far



maybe next time you'll listen to people when they tell you to STOP







Raven

This isn't real...and the real world exsist somewhere else

you died the other day...and it was my fault...first Jennifer and now you...i should have been the one driving...i should have died instead of you....i wish i could see you agian

say that i'm sorry....sorry for all the times i make fun of you or aggrivated you...sorry for the time's i didn't lend you money when you needed it ...sorry for not saying i care...sorry for walking away when all you wanted to do was spend time with me or just hang out

sorry i didn't go with you that day to lay a rose on Jennifers grave when you asked me to go...you were so alone i didn't even notice how bad you were hurting...i guess your death is a way of letting me know huh?

i miss you both so damn much that i wake up and it hurts even more to know that i was the fault of both your deaths

it kills me more every single day to know that i survived when i shouldn't...i should be laying next to you but instead i'm still here

you've left me to learn my darkest lesson...that you really don't miss something till you don't have it anymore...you were my brother and sister...you protected me when i needed you



Jennifer...you would always hold me close and tell me it would be ok when things were bad...like that time we had that bad thunderstorm and the power went out...i was so afraid and you told me that it was ok that you wouldn't leave me to be alone....i belived you too



T.j......you always tryed to set examples for me and lead me in the right direction and give me tips on life to help me survive...you were always there even if i made a stupid mistake you would always pick me up off my feet and tell me to keep walking that i was to strong to just give up like this



you both were behind me when ever i goofed up to help fix it for me...Jenn i know you wouldn't want me killing myself and T.j. io know you wouldn't want me giving up on life...so maybe i.....maybe i will keep going to see where this life will take me...i hope that linda will forgive me for what i've done to her...and i will walk this path the best i can but i know it will be hard with out you here beside me...but when this is over when i've completed this then i will finally lay down and join you whereever you may be...just know i love you both



Raven

i awoke today to realize that i'm alone another day

another day that i don't get to laugh with you

another day that i'm left waiting to see you again

i'm afraid of this place

i don't want to do this alone but do i have a choice?

but it's kind of pointless to fight for something you know you'll never have.





the people i thought were my friends have turned to hate me and now i'm getting what i deserve

i wish this life would stop playing with me and just kill me and get it over with ...this hurts so damn much



i was up all night looking at your picture

it was the one where we were all standing on the docks the day nikki leave on that cruse...do you remember? i do

it was so funny because you pushed jennifer in the water and she bitched you out the whole way home...i couln't stop laughing......i miss you both





it's sad really....the day's seem endless and i can never remember what day it is or where i am...i'm so confused and i just wish it would stop





Raven

when your loving words become Malicious hate

that's fear



when your tender touch become a buring pain

that's fear



when your soft touch becomes a booming thunder

thoughout the house

that's fear



when your beautiful voice that once brought joy turns to pain that incinerates my heart that's fear



when you no longer walk though the door with loving arms but instead an angry fist ....that's fear



when i wake up to find your soft form lying in my bed next to me that's courage that i no longer fear