I'm still waiting to use the algebra I used in High School....Any one else....
I was afraid of losing every part of my sanity.Every part that beautiful people wan to break.You are beautiful so people want to break your spirit. Letting out a silent scream inside.Thinking no one understands. Getting caught up in someones expectations trying to make you live there dreams.So its causing you so much frustration.And you only wants whats best for me .In my mind I can find my own path.I might struggle and fight it by my self or with help.The thing is its ultimately my fight.Its not going to be easy.There going to be rode blocks. All those problems that appear. Though when you feel like giving up remember that this is not the end it can get better if you try.This rode you might be taking can be long and hard. The thing is one step at a time.Sometimes you take steps back but with faith and hope things will happen.Be happy with who you are even if no one else does.This is your walk and no matter how slow you take to do it.You did it yourself be proud and do it your way.
Sitting under the moon light soaking in it dazzling beauty. Dearest child the moon smiles at her children. Say a prayer for the moon and dance for the moon goddess. Silences but in serenity and hope. Giving a light for the many and guiding them. Say your wishes pail moon goddess and feel the light of the world.
I love the simplest of smiles. When someone walking accost from you and they smile is the best feeling ever. Knowing in some way you just made this persons day. This simple gesture is over looked sometimes.Smile and brighten up someone's day.
You see my 2 brothers and my life were never easy. When I was 8 years old we moved to new place. We stayed with my Aunt ,Uncle and there two girls at the time. After that we moved out into this shady run down mobile home. There was trash to the celing,and a mouse problem. No bathroom so we had to uses a portapody and take it outside to dump it.No running water we had to use my grandmas hose. No heat or cooling we had to run an extension cord just to plug in this wire heater.
We live accost the street from the school we attended. You see my dad worked hella house so I would walk home during lunch,and reassesses to check on my baby brother who was like 2 at the time. I also was taking care of my older brother as well
Anyway my little brother managed to get out and almost got hit by a school buss after that they put use in foster care the first time>Being bounced between family members until I was 14 years old. My Dad had beaten my brothers and I with a belt. Pulling out chunks of my hair. The leaving welts on my little brother but all they way up to the middle of his back.
We were removed and put into a foster home with Both of my brothers. My older brother was moved first then my little brother then my self into a new home. There my big brother aged out of the system. My younger brother and I were moved again together .Then I was moved out into an older kid home and My little brother is in a different home than I was .From there I aged out of the system.
I mean being a foster kid was really hard. Some places say this is your forever home the kick you out. Or being called a lire and fat all the time was no fun eather.Not being able to see your parents like normal people. Hating what they did and them for why you there in the first place. Wanting to protect your siblings but they think your to bossy or parent like .
Why my small broken heart twisted into knots. I have never felt pain like losing a family member. Being 14 I had lost my mother to an illness. She has has it since she was born and so do I. You see I lived with my Dad And Mom until I was 8 years old. My mom was a drug addict and highly abusive to my brothers and I. Well my Dad was also was highly abusive as well. At the time it was just my older brother and I in the apartment with my parents. Due to the problems that accrued my mom lost her rights.
We moved away and I didn't see her again until I was 11 years old and she was permanently in the hospital. Then At 14 years of age I found out were she was and My foster mom took me to see her with my older brother. The next time we came was the last time. She was dying and this was her last days. She got to see my little brother and I. At 2 in the morning she passed away.
I have the ability to have most of my dreams or nightmares come true. While I was living with my Aunt, Uncle and there 4 girls. All of the girls are in fact younger than I am.The oldest of the 4 was Lilly she's a sweetheart. I had a dream on Christmas eve that I got to see what everyone got for there gifts. Also the timing before it happened as well as after. When I woke up I had felt like the dream came to life. I was weirded out. Then I looked at my cousin Lilly what was going to happen next and I was right. I was also right about everyone else's items they recived.Then I told her that her main gift was lost in the mail and they would get it in a couple of days. She was weirded out but she believed me.To be honest that's just one example but it happens all the time to me.
One night I had a nightmare about a older looking person. He was walking with a wooden cane and had ugly chunky glasses. Smelling of tobacco and alcohol. I could tell this man was evil just by the ore he gave off. coming closer he grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let me go. I tried to fight him but he stared to feel me up .Screaming and pulling trying to get away from this person. The he said into my ear that my mom had like it.(after I woke up I went and told my dad and he said that my mothers uncle had raped my mom when she was 16 .He was imprisoned and died there .That man of a monster is dead but my dad was scared that I was right about him...I managed to make the evil thing leave my dreams alone..
After many more times I had seen this child but now I knew who it was. I was positive now that before me and after my older brother was born I was going to have another brother. Looking like my mom and dad I knew who he was. That night I went to my dad and said mom had a miscarriage before me right.?? My dad looked with surprised and asked who had told me about that .After that I told him about the dreams he thought I was crazy but I was in fact right about my unborn older brother.
The third dream I had of this boy child was strange. I was sitting in my middle school classroom listening to the teacher speaking. A black haired boy was sitting accost from me. He was staring at me so I asked what he wanted. Out of nowhere he started crying getting out of my seat to sit next to him I gave him a hug. That the type of person I am and I waited for him to tell what was wrong. Then looking at me with this heart broken face and asked me If Dad loved him?? I thought he was talking about his dad .The he asked If our mom was still missing??That struck a strange cord with me only a tiny handful of people knew anything about that. THE HE SCRECHED THEY DONT EVEN REMEBER ME. .After that I woke up weirded out..
The second dream I had of this boy child was weird as well.( my family was walking along the beach .My Mom, Dad,big brother and my self were walking along hand in hand. I in the dream was like 4 my older brother was like 6. Walking along the coastline having the best time ever laughing and smiling .The perfect family picture idea. A small black haired child about two years old was fallowing the family trying to catch up and falling face first in the sand and getting back up. To no avail still behind use. You see It was like I was watching this I'm an out of body space. I could see use and the child yelling at use to turn around and not leave this poor kid all alone. He kept crying but none of use turned around. No one could see or hear him.
For many years I had strange dreams about a small boy child I have never seen before. The first dream was rather strange. You see I was like 12 years old when they started.( I was in my room sitting on the bed when I herd a baby crying. Walking toward the sound I saw a small baby wrapped in a white blanket. Picking him up I held him close to my body. I was trying to sooth him. The crying continued then when I looked down the baby stated to drip blood from the Add to dictionary the whole baby slipped through my arms and on the floor in a puddle of blood .At this point there was no more baby but a bloody mess all over the floor freaking out) I woke up after that......
I have many things people find weird about me. I have the ability to tell if someone has had a miscarriage just by being next to the person .It doesn't work all the time but 9 times out of 10 I can tell. Then it gets weirder that I can sometimes tell the sex of the child they lost and how many. In situations like this I say so you had a miscarriage and almost all the time I find myself correct. To be honest this whole thing seems a little grim to me and it makes me a little sad .I am also extremely empathetic person and feel there pain .
COMMENTS
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xRobin3x
02:01 Aug 30 2016
I personally love math. always been good at it. algebra is good in places like nasa field of work. Some Science fields too