The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

i think ive been fucked over again... seems Alex has been online.. seems he does have credit.. so im guessing since i havent heard from him.. that i was right when i thought i would probably never hear from him again..

what a fucking surprise.. i fall in love.. he promises he wouldnt/wont hurt me or forget me.. they go far away.. they say they'll call.. i sit around waiting... then find out from someone else and get told (directly or indirectly) that once again ive been left behind and im left to pick up the pieces of my miserable, broken and shattered heart.. alone and by myself...



why the fuck do i always do this?? why do i leave myself open to be hurt?? why doesnt anyone want me?? why do those words that are supposed to mean something and give security, become 'dishonored' and ruined and destroy what little happiness and self esteem i have?? why am i so fucking stupid?? why do i believe them?? why do they do it to me?? do they enjoy seeing my soul being crushed more and more everyday?? why am i not good enough to be loved forever and never be pushed away?? whats wrong with me??



ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE HAPPY... AND MAKE SOMEONE ELSE HAPPY!! WHY DOES EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME??



i dont think im gonna be happy for tomorrow now.. if i know that ive been screwed over.. yet again... fuck this stupid ball.. fuck this stupid life... maybe i should just go now and never come back.. doesnt look like anyone would miss me that much... the only who made me feel even remotely special, the only one who's promise i believed.. doesnt want me aymore.. and he broke his promise... and im the only one at fault

hey... yeah just a quick update.. nothing really important to report

buh bye