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WELL FOLKS I DONT USUALLY POST MANY PERSONAL JOURNAL ENTRIES, BUT I AM TODAY. I AM HAPPY AND I WANT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD TO KNOW IT AND TO SHARE IN IT. IT HAS HONESTLY BEEN YEARS SINCE I HAVE BEEN HAPPY LIKE THIS, NO LET ME TAKE THAT BACK I ACTUALLY HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPY LIKE THIS , LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW. I HAVE HAD THE FALSE SENSE OF HAPPINIESS , BUT I CAN HONESTLY SAY I DO BELIEVE I HAVE ATTAINED TRUE HAPPINESS, AND I HOPE IT LASTS ME A LIFETIME, BECAUSE I NEVER WANT TO FEEL THE WAY I USED TO EVER AGAIN, THOSE WERE DARK DAYS FOR ME , AND I AM NOW ENJOYING THE LIGHT, AND JOY THAT MY LOVE GIVES TO ME DAILY.







I OWE MY HAPPINESS AND MY CHANGE OF ATTITUDE TO SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO ME, AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS, NOW DONT GET ME WRONG I AM NOT STAKING EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE ON HIM AND HIS LOVE, BECAUSE THAT WOULD JUST BE FOOL HEARTY, I AM REALISTIC AND KNOW EVERYTHING CAN NOT BE SOLEY PLACED ON ONE PERSON TO KEEP MY HAPPINESS ALIVE... I HAVE TO HAVE THE TRUE HAPPINESS IN MY SELF AND NOT DEPEND ON OTHERS TO ATTAIN IT, BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF HIM I HAVE BEEEN ABLE TO ACHIEVE THAT PLANE OF EXISTENCE WHERE I AM OK WITH MYSELF, AND I CAN NOW DEPEND AND COUNT ON MYSELF TO MAKE ME HAPPY, WHILE THE EXTRA BENIFIT OF HIS LOVES INSPIRES ME FURTHER AND FURTHER EACH DAY.



SO IN PART I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU HUNNY ,YOU HAVE GIVEN MY LIFE A NEW AND WONDERFUL START THAT I WILL CONTINUE TO GROW UPON FROM NOW TIL THE END OF TIME!

LAST NIGHT I HAVE HAD ONE OF THE MOST FUCKED UP DREAMS I HAVE HAD IN A LONG ASS TIME. IT STARTED OUT ARIAGHT, DREAMING ABOUT SOMEONE I HAD JUST FINISHED SENDING A MESSAGE TO, AND THEN OUT OF NO WHERE ALL THIS STRANGE SHIT STARTED HAPPENING, FLASHES OF THINGS IN MY PAST ALL RUNNING TOGETHER SOME SCARY SHIT WAS IN THERE AS WELL, BUT THEN RIGHT BEFORE I WOKE UP , IT PICKED BACK UP WHERE I STARTED, I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO REMMEBER EVERYTHING I SAW AND HEARD IN MY DREAM, BUT I REMEMBER THE FEELING I HAD WHILE IN MY DREAM, AND I MUST SAY IT WAS THE MOST BIZARRE DREAM I HAVE HAD IN A LONG TIME, I CANT QUITE SAY IT WAS A BAD DREAM, BUT I ALSO CAN NOT SAY IT WAS AN EXTREMELY GOOD DREAM, BUT MOST OF IT WAS GOOD. I JUST THOUGHT ID SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE!

i am writing this cuz i am sad, i have my reasons.

this is pretty much the first ive been on in a few days been kinda depressed over some shit that went down, things come out wrong and thoughts become miscontrude,and things go to hell as usual for me but oh well.....i guess life goes on.