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as i sit here tonight i am thinking who i am what ive become and what i want in life

i met a person online tonight that helped me with some things(thank you, you know who you are) but what is the meaning of life? all i want out of life is to love someone and be loved



i think people looka t me and see what the outside has to offer never the inside

inside im a total hopeless romantic

i love giving back rubs hot bubble baths flowers

but its never enough

thats all i want i have so much to give

as she sank out of this world and into her own

i knew things would never be the same after she left my dad things went downhill for all of us



drinking everyday jail a hole lot of boyfriends she had beating on her

used and abused for years town to town place to place bf to bf. her health went down the hill year after year

she slowly moved out of this world and went to live in hers. years have passed and i barley even talk to her. she knows its me its just so hard. now she cant get out of bed maybe once a day at best. all her bones hurt she cant work she's on a small pension she gets help from the food bank

she has family that cares some but she doesnt want to to talk anymore. She told me many times that she wants to take her life. end who she is and what she's become





after she left my dad she sank out of exsistance

this has latley been a question for me, does one really know what is going though another persons mind

for me when some one sees me or talks to me i may look socially acepatbale but if one could get into my mind you would see and think some very horrid thoughts



i may act very socialble but in the back of my mind are some very twisted thoughts