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I am who I am, and I will change for no one, I think of more than the here-and-now, I think ahead and what will happen in certain situations. Either you can accept me as I am, or you can't accepts me; but I will not change to please any one.I am an angry, depressed, anxious, and all around insane person who barely has control as it is; I have tried every method I could think of to help me gain more control (even weed and drinking when I was younger), but nothing truly helps, I smoke because that keeps me mentally calmer so I can watch for dangerous signs going on in my brain. I don't do drugs, I don't drink alcohol except on rare occasions, and I don't take prescribed medications since they make me all the worse. /This/ is who I am, I am demented, I am insane, I am perverted, and I'm a bitch. I will watch a SAW movie and start craving food, because of the blood and gore on the screen; I will watch Titanic and cry when Jack dies, but being a friend with me will take a lot of thinking ahead and thoughts of "What does she mean by doing this?" when it comes to every situation. Though I'm unstable, and though things seem like I don't have a heart; I am the one person who loves so many people, so many people hold a little bit of me in their hands; but those who have held, or do hold, more than that little bit family and friends have...well break that little bit and I will fight myself not to break apart. I won't show it, not in any of my actions, words, or movements; I'll just have the want and the racing heart of threatening break downs. I will hide it all away, hide the pain away and just move on until the pain becomes less...I will always hide the pain away, it is so much simpler than letting some one have the pleasure of seeing me break down and fall apart at their feet. Now, all of my friends will have a choice; you can either take me as I am or walk away. It's as simple as that; because I refuse to change for any one any longer.



Edit:: And just for every one who doesn't know me well, just because I'm a smoker to control everything about my mentality, doesn't mean I'll hurt my daughter. My daughter is my world, and means everything to me, I will never do anything to hurt that little girl.