The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

#1: Chuck thy douche ever monday and friday, and not on wednesday, for it is humpday and we have better things to do on humpday.



#2: thou shalt not shove strange dogs in thy pants for fear that they might bite.



#3: While chucking thy douche beware not to hit thy small dog, for not only will thy small dog be stinky but also will be pissed.



#4: Thou shalt not scratch any of thy cracks in public, unless at thy strip club.



#5: While the fatman is in thy house of slumber. he takes over any bed he wishes.



#6: Thou shalt alway refer to another fatman as, "the other fatman".



#7: The muffin man makes good cupcakes. Because the fatman deems it so.



#8: Thou shalt buy out Krispy Cream Dough nuts, so that no other man becomes as fat as you.



#9: What ever thy fatman eats may become a commandment.



#10: Thou shalt not abuse the fatman, he shall be cur rested.



#11: Thou shalt whaft after thy farts, for whafting while farting causes hand to be stinky. Also whafting before farting is useless.



#12: Thou shalt always dance while the fatman sing "Dont you wish your girl friend was hot like me?"



#13: Thou shall alway shake your little tush on the cat walk, YES ON THE CAT WALK.



#13.528396777669666: to many number make me forget the next commandment.



#15 or so: What the hell, can only be answered by What the hell what the hell. NOT by what the hell what the hell what the hell. for that is lame and forbidden by the fatman.



#17 ish: I thy fatman ever get confused repeat steps 4 through 7, but not step 17 ish.



#20, 5 maybe, i lost count: counting is for squares and fat people are not squares, the are jiggly circles with own gravitational pull, much like the moon, especially while ice scatting and whafting.



#72.5598037666: While sad, consult the fatman for caressing or more importantly, hookah time.