21:34 Oct 20 2024
Times Read: 188
Why is it that everyone ever who writes down a recipe for something online feels the need to tell you their entire fucking life story BEFORE getting to the actual point?
Dude. Probably 99.9% of people are scrolling past all that annoying shit just to get to the actual recipe. I just wanna know how much to use, and what to do with it.
I don't fucking care about your childhood memory bullshit. No body asked about your grandma's curtains. Does that enhance the flavor? No? Then shut the fuck up. Because these pages are also swarming with ads. There's a point, after closing about 50 ads just desperately trying to see how much broccoli I need, that I no longer want soup, Imma go down the street, and get myself a chimichanga instead xD
10:00 Oct 18 2024
Times Read: 236
I was watching It Chapter 2 with my oldest niece, and it got to the part where you see Beverly has ended up in a relationship with an abusive guy, mimicking the abusive relationship she had with her father when she was a kid. And my niece asks me why on Earth, having escaped that with her father, would she end up with someone just like him? Which is kind of ironic... considering her big crush is some wannabe gangster thug, much like her own father. But I tried to explain to her the concept of trauma re-enactment. It is unfortunately a common thing for people who go through massive trauma when they're younger to then, consciously or not, seek out similar trauma as they age instead of running in the opposite direction from it. Not everyone who experiences trauma as a child goes through this, but many do, Wolfie included. When you're abused as a child it's what's normal for you, and in some way, maybe that's comforting. So when you meet someone, or many people, who treat you well, you don't understand it, you don't trust it, you may even run from it. Because at least the abuse is a familiar pain you know. The unknown could inevitably hurt you more. And even though it probably won't, you'll still run from it because it might. That, and the fact that when you're raised to believe you are thoroughly worthless, you don't believe you will ever deserve happiness. Being raised through abuse, you justify your poor treatment by convincing yourself you did something to deserve the horrible way you're treated, maybe you were just born bad, but you develop this extreme guilt that you're only treated badly because of something you've done, it's your fault. And that can easily carry into adulthood, that guilt and shame and the need to seek out your own misery because you honestly don't think you deserve any better. You seek out that old familiar abuse because it's what you know, and the known is so much less scary than the unknown.
Now you try explaining that to a 13 year old. Most adults don't understand it. Took me awhile. It's so easy to say, "If this person is toxic, don't allow them in your life." It's not that simple sometimes. Like Wolfie and his mom. If he would've let me... I could've made damn sure she'd never bother him again. That's the thing though. That's one of the most heartbreaking things about him. Despite his mother being the absolute monster of his life, he doesn't want her gone because he doesn't want to admit to himself that she's never going to be the mother he needs. As cynical as he is, he has this unshakable hope that some day, eventually, she's going to love him like she always should have his entire life. And I'd love that for him. But it's not reality. And every time she let's him down... he sinks further and further. I worry about who he'll end up with, if they'll be kind to him, if they'll treat him well. I don't really see him seeking out another relationship, he always said I was his last chance. He was mine. My heart has been out of relationships since the day he left. And going through kidney failure gives me a perfect excuse to simply enjoy my time left quietly with my family without worrying about any of that anymore. I wish all my family were here, I wish he were here, I think if anyone could change this, it would be him. But this isn't a romance novel. Fate is in motion, and maybe it's just better this way, maybe it was always supposed to be like this. Out of everyone, I'm happy tp go first, I'm ready. It's weird because I don't look sick. But... I'm starting to slow down. And my bloodwork would definitely beg to differ😐
03:07 Oct 15 2024
Times Read: 383
When someone tells me they don't think I look very yandere... And my response to that sends them running away from me xD
Some people are so sensitive...
It'd be cute if it wasn't so fucking pathetic~
I'm currently more of a dormant yandere. Trust me, you're perfectly safe. The object of my undying affection is gone, possibly for good. And I am in no way interested in replacing him, least of all with you😘❤️
I fucking hate stupid-ass fucking people, please educate yourself before speaking to me~
Just because you're obviously an absolutely worthless nothing doesn't mean we're all so transparent💗
08:18 Oct 06 2024
Times Read: 715
Another weekend away. This time I'm holed up in a hotel room with my two oldest nieces, and my oldest nephew's girlfriend. And do you know what three teenage girls, and their old auntie end up talking about at their slumber party?
Anime.
And boys.
But mostly anime xD
Which isn't necessary surprising of my nieces, having been raised in part by me they've been raised on anime and gaming. But my nephew's girlfriend is also super into both. So she fits in well. It was precious, Joker was on TV so she started telling me things about him, and Batman in general. Like... sweetie, you don't know who you're talking to~
My oldest niece gave me the concerning news that she's into a guy who has, at the age of 13, already been arrested twice for assault. Clearly, she's also inherited her taste in psychopaths from auntie. Not a good thing. Meanwhile, my other niece tells me, at age 11, she now has a boyfriend... that she met on Xbox. These freakin kids, I swear, what did I ever do to deserve this xD
Oh... riiiight, that~
05:23 Oct 05 2024
Times Read: 770
When he calls me "Good girl"...
And I get that warm, fuzzy, uncontrollable feeling...
To rip his entire voice box out, and make his mother choke on it~
Ain't no "good girl" here, you little bitch~
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