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18 entries this month
11:06 Feb 27 2012
Times Read: 585
Despite everything, right now I'm about as happy as one can be. Kevin is asleep w his arm around me, his finger occasionally rubbing my hand. The best part is, I never have to go another night without him.
06:04 Feb 27 2012
Times Read: 590
Ok so good news, Kevin is finally here and for good :D
03:39 Feb 22 2012
Times Read: 647
Here is a list of nicknames I've been given. Some I like, prefer to be called and others not so much lol.
X
X-man
Doc
*Dr X
*Zav
*Profressor X
*Playpretty
*Bambie
Cupcake
*Zy'ya-chan /Zyya-chan/Zyya (newest)
I'm fine with or would prefer the ones with a * next to em.
Some of them are fairly obvious and others have a nice or interesting story behind them. I'm called nearly all of them at least once during any given day on here and in life lol.
18:43 Feb 20 2012
Times Read: 651
I'm going to try to make it home today. My stomach has been messing up but I really do need to leave today. At least this will be the last time I have to drive 400 miles to see him :)
It sucks how much a 5 hour drive can really take it out of me.
Recently I've been thinking about giving I Ching readings along with other related things to folks. Would be fun and it's always nice to help out people.
18:08 Feb 18 2012
Times Read: 652
Yesterday Kevin accidentally slammed his elbow into the side of my head. I saw a tunnel, my heart rate dropped, was freaky and took a few minutes to recover. Anyway, doesn't seem like there's any bruise so I'm happy and obviously no real damage was done or else I wouldn't be on here lol.
19:24 Feb 17 2012
Times Read: 674
I WANT this OMG!
It's a Byzantine ring from 800-1100 AD.
19:34 Feb 14 2012
Times Read: 710
Getting dressed, lookin pretty. Feeling better but kinda nervous as if I was going on a first date...we've been together 5 years! lol
17:07 Feb 14 2012
Times Read: 716
It's Valentines Day of course and while I'm very happy to be spending it (for the first time) with Kevin when I woke up my stomach was feeling rather "off". I want to have a great day, restaurant reservations, hotel booked, going shopping etc but I'm so worried I may end up sick and ruin the whole thing.
I know, I know, just be happy being with each other, don't worry until something actually happens etc. But my health has screwed up plenty of fun times before and it makes me feel rather useless. I don't care so much if I have a good time or not but I want him to soo much. He's had this silly smile on his face ever since waking up and I don't want that to go away.
03:26 Feb 14 2012
Times Read: 729
I love it when random/new people come up to me and just start chatting, asking me questions, getting into actual conversations about things other than who won what game or the ending of the latest reality TV series.
People with brains, curiosity and purpose. Makes me hot.
18:03 Feb 13 2012
Times Read: 741
If I come off as condescending, perhaps you should examine your own emotional problems. Stating facts or opinions is not a personal attack.
Most people have no issue conversing with me. To the rest, grow up. I get so tired of people getting upset just because I dare make them feel stupid or inferior. Sorry, I can't make you feel anything especially when I'm just stating facts!
I hate overly sensitive people and those that can't control their own insecurities.
08:02 Feb 11 2012
Times Read: 765
I'm watching Carl Sagan's "Cosmos" for the first time. Despite it being 32 years old it has remarkably little factual flaws when compared to what we now know.
It's put me in a very good, calm, happy mood which is a rare thing in general. It also gives you a good understanding of the type of person he was and why he was respected so much. I'm too young to have any real memories of him but it would have been great to meet him.
He brought up so many things that we could stand to think about especially with regards to where we're going and what we're doing to our planet.
One thing I found very cool was that in episode 6 (out of 14) he calls Jupiter a "failed star". While there's little real evidence Jupiter would have been a star since it would have needed to be a dozen or so times larger I have always jokingly, yet lovingly, referred to Jupiter as a failed star, the runt brother of the Sun.
Not only does the series tell you a lot about the universe itself but it teaches you about humanity, who we are, where we should be going, very cool historical facts, etc. And the special effects are pretty good and aren't distracting in the least.
I'd urge everyone to see it. It's on Netflix and I'm sure you can find it elsewhere.
Sagan's personality reminds me a lot of myself in how I get animated and speech patterns change when I get really into a subject or in teaching mode.
Plus you get to see the cutting edge of discovery at the time (1978-80). He even discussed the extinction of the dinosaurs, it's explanation "unknown". The discovery of the K-T boundary wasn't until 1980 and the meteor crater verification didn't occur until 1990.
Even though Sagan himself didn't really believe in God he takes care to be respectful and doesn't come off as some preachy scientist. No matter what you believe it's good to take care to remember that 95% of the global population DOES believe in a god. He defends the free sharing of knowledge and thought no matter how controversial or silly. He even chided the few scientists who have tried to suppress theories and ideas.
The writing and story telling was also superb. Makes me really sad to know how he lived his last few years and his struggles given how much of a caring person he was and how passionate he was about teaching and sharing and his care for our future.
07:07 Feb 10 2012
Times Read: 784
(About wolves)
Wednesday the 8th was our 5th anniversary and we ended up watching "The Grey" at 9:35, meaning we didn't get home until midnight.
For those who don't know the movie is about a group of arctic oilmen whose plan crashes, leaving all but 7 alive. The main character is played by Liam Neeson and he takes up the task of seeing they survive.
Well, they end up being surrounded, chased and killed one by one by grey wolves (the largest living wolf species).
The movie was incredibly good, very well acted and some of the scenes, to me at least, were genuinely moving...and frightening. I'd suggest you all go see it. (Just wait through the credits, there's a final scene at the end you should see).
Anyway, I couldn't go to sleep. The way they portrayed dying was very accurate and it really got to me. Not only that but I am both fascinated by and terrified of wolves.
You see there are only 2 things that *really* scare me, eyes and voice/sound. And wolves have very penetrating eyes especially if they mean to eat you and the sounds they can make strike a primal fear. So I ended up unable to sleep for another 2 hours afraid that I'd have bad dreams which I often do and they're not fun at all.
So just now I was doing some reading on wolves. While the Grey wolf is the largest living wolf the Dire wolf was the largest species of wolf ever. They were 5' tall (head height) and weighed nearly 200lbs. They went extinct some 10,000 years ago (meaning they interacted with humans for several thousand years, enough to get into our collective memory). However...I wouldn't be surprised if a few are still out there, ya never know.
Well in breeding animals you can also "back breed" them. The purpose being to breed the animal back to an original or approximate ancestral form. While no current breed or species of canid exists that's connected to the Dire wolf a group of breeders were able to breed a wolf with the same physical attributes (size, bone structure etc). They're called "American Alsatian" and while they obviously lack the temperament of a wild Dire (they're actually used as rescue and therapy dogs) the fact something that large and potentially strong is out there sends a small chill up my spine.
You know wolves love hunting wild animals but when they're really hungry they've been known to stalk and take out grown men. I love the creature but they scare the shit out of me as well.
00:09 Feb 09 2012
Times Read: 804
"Stop leading with your body and your wallet. Xzavier you are a super smart & incredible guy. You don't need to buy affection or friendship."
Thanks, idk why but it's hard learning that.
18:08 Feb 06 2012
Times Read: 827
You know what's annoying? Having someone criticize your relationship when they've had sex with like 80 people (at least one a week) and hasn't been in an actual relationship for like a year.
15:18 Feb 06 2012
Times Read: 831
Had a nice first night with Kevin, actually slept too.
Sadly he's got to work like all day today so I'll be alone in this frozen hell called Indiana. But the rest of my time here he'll be around for most of it.
Oh, he showed me what he's getting me for our Anni....a freakin Caribbean cruise! Of course our actual 5yr anniversary is the 8th so we'll do something then but the main gift is for May and I'm beyond excited.
17:57 Feb 05 2012
Times Read: 837
Just getting lunch before I head out to Indiana. I'm sooo excited to see Kevin. I got fairly sick yesterday morning butim feeling lots better, not gonna let anything stop me from getting my lil ass up there.
06:26 Feb 04 2012
Times Read: 845
I'm in the process of organizing all of my excess bank notes (ones I already have etc) and they weigh nearly 2 pounds! It's about 850 notes worth around $1,200.
I'm going to put them all on ebay as a single lot and I REALLY hope they sell quickly. I don't know what price I'm going to put on them though. I think they cost me something like $200, worth $1,200, maybe I'll do $800.
22:17 Feb 02 2012
Times Read: 860
I'm watching "The Fourth Kind" on HBO and right out my window I can hear this owl non-stop. Kinda freaky.
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COMMENTS
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Requiem
12:43 Feb 27 2012
Good. I am damned glad he is there with you.
sahahria
17:07 Feb 27 2012
Yes, it is good you have there :)
Eilidh
01:00 Feb 28 2012
I am glad that he made it there safely and you are happy :)