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When I woke up today, I gave the idea little thought about how I was going to go about doing it. Little did I know when it came to it, I couldn’t force it out of me. I suppose it’s like a baby in the oven for only a few months and someone's conjecturing that you push now to see if it comes out with all your might. It’s really quite a bad idea. I’m not really trying to write this letter, but I’m just trying to air out a few emotions to let you know how I’m doing. Maybe it’ll be nice for you to read how I’m doing and even nicer for me to feel better.



I think the biggest emotion I’ve felt so far is worry. I don’t fear for what you’ll do because I trust you. I believe that you’re taking care of yourself at the best you can, minus the head bumps (I couldn’t expect you to go without a few of those). Whatever the damage, I want you back. However hurt you ever become whether it be by man or machine, beast or thing, I want you to hold and to take care of.

I want to dance with you, even when there’s no music playing. I want to wake up and see that you’re still fast asleep with my cheek against you bare chest. I want to hold your hand when you want a glass of water and to wait outside the door when you relieve yourself (ha-ha). I want to fit into the same jacket together with you so we can be warm together and close. I want you to see you teach our first kid how to ride a bike and laugh when i see you chase him or her down the sidewalk. I want to see you taking your so deserved punishment for eating what you shouldn’t and be there to laugh about it with you. I want to schedule an appointment where you work one day so I can see you, kiss you, and tell you you’re doing a good job. I want you to press your sweet lips against mine and whisper you love me.I want to watch you with an amused expression when I see you fall asleep like a person with narcolepsy when the ending of Pride & Prejudice comes around. I want to do the simple things in bed like read and watch you snuggle against me to go back to sleep once you see I’m okay.

I want to be in your arms and have you hold me for a moment for no reason other than I need your touch. I want to hold you forever because in your arms and with you in mine, I would feel so safe and satisfied to be alive. I want to be the woman who smiles at you on our wedding day and wipes away your teary eyes after we kiss. I want to be the one who devises elaborate plans to scare the crap out of you, even though that might not be good for you, it’d be a good laugh for the kids. I want to look at our first newborn and see the beauty you do as a father when you cradle it in your arms. I want to run out with you into the rain to jump in puddles or run across a parking lot or street with the kids as we book it for the car for the fun of it. I want you to be the man I love forever. You are the man I will love forever.





( I didn't write this someone else did....i don't remember their name so don't give me credit...but this is how i really feel....)