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Ok, so on my way home from the hospital yesterday, I decided to stop and do some car shopping to relieve some stress. Of course when I got there, the car salesmens came running out. I told them before I looked at anything, I wanted to talk to them and express what I had to say. I have tons of requirements for what car I want. I know what Im looking for...I just dont know what I want. As if that makes sense lol.



Anyway, he listened to me and didnt try to pressure me into anything. We did walk aroun the lot and look at some cars. I didnt test drive anything but I did learn something. Most of the used cars have very high mileage an low prices. Now I dont claim to be all knowing in the car department but I would imagine that the life of an engine, depending on how it was driven by the previous owner, is about 100,000 give or take a few. Most of the cars on the lot had at least 50,000 miles. The best one I saw had 56,000 miles for $13,000. Good price...but something doesnt sound right there.



So, I have come to conclusion that instead of buying a used car with such high mileage, I should look into new cars. My grandmother wont be driving anywhere anymore now that shes had open heart surgery, part of her aortic value replaced, and attempted to fix her irregular heartbeat. Perhaps I can trade both cars and that would help me. I dont know. I know I dont want an outrageous monthly car note...not in this economy.



Oh well, decisions, decisions. What to do? What to do? Any suggestions would be welcome. However, I am only interested in GMC or Chevy vehicles.

You know, Ive debated for a few days now whether or not express how I feel in my journal. Ive decided to just say what I have to say and then release it into the atmosphere where things will eventually take care of themselves.



I dont wish ill will on anyone. Nor am I posting this to make anyone made or to start trash talking or fighting or drama. I posted this journal for one simple reason....I wish for the two people who were affected by this the most to read it and perhaps come to realize that although I am a lot of things and Ive done my share of things...that which I have been accused of is not true. I know in their heart of hearts they know me better than this. Just know, Im here should they wish to discuss it. As for the one that instigated this, I can forgive, but I can never forget.



I am not a perfect person...no one is. Im not always the happiest person...again, who is? Im not always the nicest person...no one is. Im not always the most talkative person....no one is.



However, I can say, by the God that I believe in and by all that is in this world...I am honest. Anyone that knows me in real life can attest to that. I've even been accused of being TOO honest and crass at times. I felt that the few friends I had online also knew that about me. Perhaps that is not true for all my friends.



However, recently, I was accussed of threatening and cussing someone out that I considered a friend. When I was asked to see the text, two seperate text messages were sent to me, something that I greatly appreciated btw. One conversation was indeed had by me and i have never denied that. The other conversation NEVER EVER happened. Why would I admit to one conversation and tons of other wrong doings yet deny just one? Simple....that one didnt happen.I dont threaten people or cuss people.



I am sorry that friendships were lost over something like this. Im sorry that someone felt the need to create a lie that hurt people. At this point it's not even about me. It's about people who didn't deserve to be hurt...being hurt and friendships lost forever. I hope that this makes people stop and think about what has happened and find a way to make right the wrong that has been done. What inside a person makes them do or say things that would hurt people they care about so badly?

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PAGAN
15:11 Jun 24 2011

Well, without knowing (nor wanting to know) what it is that you're talking about, I can sincerily say you're an honest person and someone I know I can trust to tell me the truth if I ever had reason to ask you to.



Hope folk see the sincerity in what you've written here its pretty damn obvious to me.



This will get sorted I hope and, if it doesn't then whoever its directed to does not deserve to have you around.

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WinterRaven
20:22 Jun 24 2011

Thanks Pagan. And thats exactly how I feel about the matter too. It's done and over with, it has been put out into the universe and what will be...will be. I can not control that which I have not done.

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Mab
21:01 Jun 24 2011

well all i can say is i dont know you so i cant say how you are,but i do know this,you say that you where not trying to start any drama or talk down on any one ,well if that was it then why even post this? for who ever it is you know will see it and then the drama will start.

some time its better just to not say any thing then to talk it out on here,for this is a web site and not ever one see thing the same,what you think mite just be talking trying to work thing out some one els may see it as talking shit and drama.

sorry thats just how i feel.

here the last few days vr has gotten bad with drama and its sad,,we are here for are friends and to talk with then,,the last few days all i see is fighting about ever thing,let me ask you this is it so hard just to not say any thing to or about that person you dont like or have been hurt by? you dont have to talk to them,just dont message them then how do you know they are even on?



im just saying how i feel,as for what has happned to you,,did you ever think that girl mite feel the same,if you where firneds one time like you say why cant you try to talk it out,i know i have some one i care about alot and we get pissed at times but we always try to talk it out,to me thats what a try friend does,,there hurt in ever friendship at on time,but thats why its friendship you work it out.

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PAGAN
20:09 Jun 25 2011

I have to comment to Mab:



I can see that you don't know Winter very well because you don't see that this journal was in no way an effort to start drama which you have mentioned. Winter could probably have said a whole hell of a lot more as its obviously something that bothered her, but instead chose to have her say with dignity and maturity which is how she always conducts herself in my opinion.



People do make mistakes, we're ruled by our hearts much more than our heads and so, there are times when we say or do things that we really shouldn't. That doesn't make us bad people, it just means we're human.

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WinterRaven
18:10 Jun 26 2011

Thank you once more Pagan. It is friends like you that have helped me through this. I did read Mab's comment and well, she doesn't know me at all so her opinion is just that.



I have released it into the universe and Im actually enjoying my time in my new coven. Moonie is great. The truth will come out in time for all to see but the damage has been done.

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So, my car was paid off in December of last year. Well, as it usually goes, in April of this year it started acting up. I got it looked at and was told that its got a few issues developing with the engine. I have been advised by several people to get rid of it instead of putting a ton of money into it. Ive decided to do that. Ive worked since school is out doing all kinds of things to make some extra money so I have a sizeable down payment at the end of the month when I go looking for a new car.



Ive done some research online to get an idea of what exactly I want. Ive also talked to several people to find out what they think is a good car to have. So far, Ive ruled out quite a few but since theres no particular car that Im really attracted to, the research has helped me a lot. Whatever I get I want to be GMC or Chevy made. I did find the GMC Acadia though...so far, from what ive seen online, I like it...a lot. Thats the first thing im going to look at.



If anyone has any other suggestions of what they think I should look at...please let me know. Im open to most things as a few people on here can attest to lol.

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PAGAN
14:31 Jun 19 2011

LOL I have no idea about American cars except a Chevy sounds like a cool car to own (plus, its the only American make I know) haha

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My grandmother had her open heart surgery and part of her aortic valve replaced yesterday. The whole process took a lil over 8 hours. It was a longggg wait but in the end, it all ended well.

She is in CICU and recovering. Today we went to visit her and she was still rather out of it with the sedation but she was at least out of bed and sitting up in a chair. We got her to eat a lil bit of something and she drank quite a bit of water so thats good. The nurses and the dr. said that so far she is progressing well. The hope is that by Monday she will be in a regular room. It was a scary process for her as well as for me and the kids but it all worked out.



I must say, its time like this when you find out who your true friends are too. I had so many people calling and checking on her as well as checking on me and the kids to see how everything was going and if they could do anything. The thoughts and prayers were a great help to her im sure.

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PAGAN
14:30 Jun 19 2011

:)

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foxglove
13:33 Jun 23 2011

Sending my prayers for your grandmothers speedy recovery.

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Isis101
05:15 Jun 24 2011

I hope that she is recuperating well.

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It is amazing how much one can observe.



Many different feelings can emerge from watching people and their actions. There can be feelings of amusement, sadness, happiness, pity, and even sometimes jealousy can emerge.



Lately, I have found much humor in the actions of others. It is amazing what some will do or say in order to achieve some ultimate goal they think they have. Then, once it is achieved, it's expected that they will be congratulated or praised by those they have purposely or even inadvertently stepped over to achieve their goal.



It's even more amazing to see what people will do online. For I believe that online, people are more likely to act as they truly are because they are hidden behind a screen of animity. It is also amazing the amount of backstabbing that goes on. I mean, in real life, I dont think that Ive encountered as much backstabbing as Ive observed online. Amazing isn't it? or perhaps childish and immature?



It seems that people online forget that its a place to meet people and make friends...not a place to backstab, trashtalk, become overly sexual active with strangers, and destroy the enjoyment that should be had.



Perhaps, that is why I don't have many true friends in VR but I have friends that I consider family in some other venues. To my true friends in VR....and for now I can count those on just 1 hand...I say thank you.



To one special friend that I hope I never ever lose for many reasons, and he knows who he is, thank you for letting me inside your world. I look forward to our continued friendship for many, many years to come.

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Sulks
17:44 Jun 11 2011

Great points.



I feel the same. I have many 'friends' but only a few are trusted fully. They know who they are.



There are though, many awesome people on this site and although some of them aren't friends per se, I know I can trust them 100% to be honest people.

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