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I Just do not understand this existance.

MY body is but a vessel. A hollow shell, This life that i have now is not the one that i long for. I long for a past that is filled with love romance and trust. At times i drift back to a time when i was happy and safe and well. I look for answers and the more i look twards knowledge the more confused I get. Why are we meant to suffer the pains of human emotions while we carry out our nocturnal ways. To sleep for 100 years would be great because this life haunts me so. THe past keeps pressing on this life what am i to do. this double edged sword, SHall i plunge upon thee with such vengance in order to kill the pain. The evidence will set you free

I have met so many really great people in the short time that i have been on here. I am greatful that i found VR. I want to think of this place as a second home of sorts. This sight is amazeing and i do not ever want to leave.

This past weekend was really wierd I was having such a hard time falling asleep. I could not get comfortable and when i finally did i had some really messed up dreams. I find that i sleep during the day on the weekends and i am up all night. I get this zen like feeling being outside in the dark it is this calming feeling that comes over me. Like the darkness envelops me and wraps itself around me like a warm blanket.

I have always felt a bit out of place since i was a child. I am the seventh child of a seventh son and my father was what you would call a sexual vampire. I get that from him. When I joined my first vampire websight i was still learning about what i was and why i was the way i was. I have had dreams of blood surrounding me ever since i was around 16 a bit freaky to some people and not something that many other people wouold understand. My quest for knowledge and understanding will never end. I will still quest after my mortal shell dies.

Yesterday I joined the members of VR. I am greatful that ther is a place where i can come and just mingle with people that are like me. I like the fact that everyone That i have talked to thus far has been really nice and very welcoming. I hope to be a member for some time to come. Thanks for such a warm welcome

Today i joined this incredable sight. Where i can learn more about what i am becomming and why. I used to be a member of the NAVP. since they were disbanded I have bee trying to find a sight where I can meet and talk to others like me. Many dark blessing to you all