The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The Old Hollywood Squares
14:05 May 30 2007
Times Read: 736

Now if you don't know the old show and it's cast the jokes just are not as funny...

Hollywood Squares







These great questions and answers are from the days when " Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.



Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.



Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.



Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.



Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.



Q According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.



Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.



Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.



Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.



Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you' ll never forget.



Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.



Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I' m too busy growing strawberries.



Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.



Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.



Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.



Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.



Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?



Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.



Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.



Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.



Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?



Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.



Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.



Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

some people's nerves
04:39 May 19 2007
Times Read: 756

For those who don't know Toiletduc is a friend of mine both on and off the net. He was the lil shit who abducted me into the house that he now runs and this is the thanks that he gets for advancing in the ranks.





Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 15:00:02 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 304



As I've said before, now that I've taken over the house there are going to be some changes. I consider them all for the better, but if you disagree, don't hesitate to voice your concerns. They will at the very least be listened to.





Changes in House Positions



CountessMoon and Silverbow will remain Assistant House Masters. CountessMoon takes care of house graphics, both the front page, crest, and other such graphics as well as the Mada Mart Hall of Graphics. Silverbow takes care of favor tracking for weekly requirements and contests, as well as welcoming new members.



House news and message master positions are not currently in use. This may change in the future, but there isn't any real need for them at the moment.



Tzaddi will remain a forum master. MyBleedingKiss has also been promoted to forum master. I will likely be adding one or two more forum masters in the near future, so if you're interested after reading the responsibilities that will be a little later in this post, let me know.



Changes, updates, and reiterations of House Rules



All members of this house are representatives of the house, as well as myself. This is to be remembered. Nearly all the house rules boil down to maturity and common sense. If you wish to be traded from the house, let me or one of the assistant house masters know first. Also, if you decide you wish to be traded, do not ask to be traded to one place just for them to trade you elsewhere. This has happened in the past due to members of other covens believing personal issues were affecting my trade offers. This does not happen. Those involved in those trades showed a complete lack of honesty and integrity. The house members involved I am glad to be rid of due to that. If someone is not able to be honest and respectful, they do not deserve to be in this house.



The house forum is going to be subjected to the most change. Idle chatter and game threads are going to be kept to a minimum. One thread open at a time for idle chatter, and two threads open at a time for games. So that we keep variation on the game threads.... whoever makes the last post in a game thread gets to start the next one with whatever type of game they wish. I urge creativity in this. The game threads should should start with Game #1 and Game #2, respectively, and the idle chatter thread should start with Talk:



This thread will remain in the forum in one form or another, to serve as a place for house rules to be easily accessible, as well as for people to place suggestions for the house.



The Lupus Abduction, Introduction, Announcement, and Favor threads will remain open as well. The Game Help and Dog Fight threads will be combined into one, and the Spotlight Wolf, Profile, and Portfolio threads will be combined into a single thread as well.



Any thread that is going to contain adult content should have (18+) placed in the name of the thread. Underage members are not allowed in these threads. If one is caught posting in these threads, they will receive one warning, and a second offense will result in being blinded or removed from the house. We have no way of knowing if you're looking in these threads, but that is on your honor. I hope the members of this house are respectful enough to honor this.



This will leave quite a bit of open space in the forum that is to be used for discussion threads. Any member may post a thread for discussion, on any subject they choose. There is no limitation on topics for these threads, and they may include topics such as politics that are not allowed in the main site forum. However, these topics must be presented in a well thought-out manner, and pose a question or point to debate. Any sources used must be cited, and plagiarism will not be tolerated. All responses must further the discussion in some way. No brief "I agree," or "I don't know," responses. Also, all posts in these threads are expected to contain proper spelling and grammar. You aren't going to be chastised for making a few mistakes here and there, and you're not going to be dragged through the street and beaten for ending a sentence with a preposition, but an attempt must be made. There are plenty of spell checkers out there for web browsers, and the newest version of Firefox has one built-in. Discussion threads should be noted by placing "Discussion:" at the beginning of the thread title. There should be no more than five of these threads going at once.



I may also start a thread for sharing recipes, and possibly re-open the Throneroom thread in the near future as well. Let me know what you think, or if you have any other ideas for threads. Aside from discussion threads and new versions of threads that closed for length, any other new threads should be approved by myself, one of the assistant house masters, or a forum master prior to it being posted.



House Position Expectations



Assistant House Master: I think they pretty well know what they're doing. They both rock, and I don't think I could do this without their help. Thank you both.



Forum Master: Forum masters will maintain the forum within the guidelines given above. Especially in discussion threads, off-topic, incoherent, or inflammatory posts will be deleted. Game and idle chatter threads will be deleted after they are closed for length and their replacement started. Posts should not be deleted just to keep the length of a thread down, just let the thread go until it is closed for length, then open a new one. The Discussion threads should be monitored for content as well as spelling and grammar. If a member repeatedly goes against the forum guidelines, send them a message discussing the problem, and if they continue to do it, or if they are less than respectful to you, let me know the situation and I'll handle it personally. If an underage member is found posting in the 18+ threads, warn them the first time, and come to me if it happens again. Forum masters will also have news and message master flags in the event they need to make an announcement to the house regarding the forum.



The Chatterbox



Accessible through the Hall of Disquisition house sub-page, is the Madadh-Alluidh chat room. It's always open, Wednesday night is generally when we all try to convene, starting at around 9pm EST, and going until we all wander off for the night. Try to come by, the more the merrier. If someone has another time they'd like to try to meet up in there, post it in here, and we'll see what we can do.



Questions, Comments, Concerns, Suggestions



This is the place to ask put them. All suggestions and ideas are appreciated, and we'll do our best to answer and questions and concerns.



One specific thing I would like some feedback on is the possibility of removing the weekly favor requirement. Do you think that, on average, you would earn more, less, or the same amount of favor if it were not required? If this comes to pass, there will likely be more contests and other incentives for earning favor. I know that some people are unable to earn favor, and some just don't want to. I would like to be able to loosen up the house and allow members to contribute in whatever ways they prefer, as long as they are contributing. However, I will not allow the house to suffer as a result of this, so I'd like some feedback first, and then possibly a trial period to see how well it works.





We are very close to pulling the house back up to third place in the standings, and activity in the house has been increasing quite a bit since I joined, which I'm very pleased to see. We've got a lot of great members, and I'd like to thank all of you. I think we have the best house on the Rave, and I'd like to see us up to number 1 in the rankings to make sure everyone else knows it too. :)













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ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh

Posted: 15:52:08 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 291



I'm limiting the games down to two at a time so they don't take over the forum and room is left for other threads. People typically don't look past the first page of the forum, so with tons of games, other threads get pushed further back and forgotten, and I want our house forum to be more than just games. Time to get some hot steamy intellectual intercourse going.



MBK edit: The limit sounds like a plan seeing as I don't think a brain is allowed to smoke a cigarette afterwords.!











ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 18:51:48 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 243



I just forgot to add the Introduction thread to the list.



My apologies for the confusion.



And the rules aren't really all that strict... the game and chatter threads aren't going anywhere, just being kept from taking over the forum. Other threads can be added with approval. Discussion threads can be added by anyone, at any time.











ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 19:35:58 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 226



The spelling and grammar is only forced in the Discussion threads, and the reason for that being that when conducting a serious discussion about something, it needs to be concise and easy to read to preserve continuity of the discussion.



Honestly, I would prefer the entire forum use some semblance of proper spelling and grammar, but I think there'd be a mutiny if I tried that. But in the Discussion threads it is essential.



And aside from that, if you start concentrating on proper spelling and grammar while playing around online, it quickly becomes second-nature, and will do nothing but benefit you in the long run. And spellcheck can help immensely as well. One of the many reasons I love FireFox.



As for the 18+ threads, I'll repeat.... no one under the age of 18 should even be reading those threads.



However, a good point was made that I hadn't thought of. Both of the game threads should not be 18+ at the same time. If one is, that's fine. But not both, because that would make the game threads completely unaccessible by the younger members. The idle chatter thread should not be 18+, either. If enough people wish for an adult chatter thread, a second one can be made to be 18+.











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ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 19:41:43 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 224



The game threads are still there, and they'll still be changing. Look at it this way.... with only two of them, the posts will accumulate faster, making the threads cycle faster, and giving more people more opportunity to make new ones.



And at the same time, it ensures that there is space for the other house threads, both those pertaining to house business, so they don't get dropped back several pages, and for threads of more serious discussion, that I know at least several members are interested in.



This makes the house more accommodating to all members, rather than just the ones only interested in the game and idle chatter threads.





And allow me to remove the illusion that this house is a democracy. It is not. Yes, I do consider it a family of sorts, but I am the head of the household, and while I do listen to suggestions and try to please as many people as I can, I ultimately have the final say.



everything was fine till this point

no names just letting us know of some changes....















TheVampireTu

Phantom (8)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 20:24:30 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 204



House Master, I will keep this as civil as I can. All day long I deal with little tyrant kings, swaggering around flexing their corporate muscles, telling me where the door is if I don't like it. Du you think I wish tu come home, come online tu have some relaxing fun and deal with the same? I du NOT! Your ideas as far as the younger members are concerned are good ones, they du need protected, but the over all idea you put forth here is you are King and we are shit. My managers and formans at work du not get my respect and niether shall you. Please bannish me, I want out.











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ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 20:42:30 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 193



Your claims against me of treating house members as shit are not only completely unfounded and ridiculous, but I'm sure that anyone who knows me can assure otherwise. I thought I had made it quite clear how grateful I am for our house members, and I was entirely sincere when I said I believed this is the best house on the Rave. And that would not be possible without great house members.



I envision this house being accommodating for all it's members. That is why the game and chatter threads remain, but are limited to allow for other threads to flourish as well.



When they aren't overwhelming the forum, I have no problem with the game and chatter threads, but I also want to have threads with more depth, to allow for those of us who wish to a place to pick each other's brains and improve ourselves through sharing and guidance by our peers.



However, you seem unable to see that. You see a bit of structure and scream tyranny. Quite obviously, you will not fit into the house with those thoughts. However, the fault lies within yourself in this case.



ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 21:38:54 - May 17 2007

Times viewed: 163



Shaman, you haven't caused a problem. Everyone is welcome to share their opinion, provided it's done in a respectful manner.



And Moonie is correct, the changes I've decided on are not entirely set in stone. It would take quite a bit of convincing for anything to be changed, but I won't say it isn't possible.



Regardless, I appreciate the feedback.











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ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 17:07:02 - May 18 2007

Times viewed: 58



DarkShaman, as to the suggestions thread, if you read this thread fully, and the message that I closed the Suggestions thread with, it is quite clear that I was directing all house suggestions to this thread. Which is exactly what has been happening in this thread.



As to trying to change people in regards to the spelling and grammar bit..... That's not changing who you are. It's asking to share who you are in a manner that is concise and easily understood by others. Even more so that I am only requiring it in the Discussion threads. I would like to see proper spelling and grammar across the entire house Forum, and really everywhere on the site that our members make an appearance, as that is where other members will draw their opinions of our house, but for the time being at least, that will not be a requirement, merely a request. There are some Houses that do require proper spelling and grammar all across their House, and it is very strictly enforced.



I may increase the number of game and chatter threads, but I haven't fully decided yet.



And as Moonie said as to the chat.... it's definitely open for other times.



And the Hall of Comfort thread can remain open... no problems there either.







now this is where i get confused... now yes there were other post's but the only two involved in this convo are TD and TheVampireTu... the other post's are being kept in our house...



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TheVampireTu

Phantom (8)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 17:45:55 - May 18 2007

Times viewed: 51



I would first like tu thank you Darkshaman, my friend, for defending me. Now let's take a look at this paragraph written by the House Master.



And allow me to remove the illusion that this house is a democracy. It is not. Yes, I do consider it a family of sorts, but I am the head of the household, and while I do listen to suggestions and try to please as many people as I can, I ultimately have the final say.



I hope you all have no "illusions" that your voice matters.



And remember, you are a family "of sorts".



Let me translate that last sentence..." I will listen tu your ramblings then du what I want".



On a presonal note tu you TDuc, when you have buried one of your children, when you have maintained a 4.0 GPA "thru" college, when you have been destroyed every way possible, when you have had a life long dream presented tu you only tu have others rip it away, when you have starved, when you have been homeless at 18, and then when you go even further than I have, then you can talk down tu me. Mr. Big Shot, you make me laugh you dullard.



ToiletBoy, what part of "I WANT OUT" did you not understand?





WildChild

Vampire (16)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 19:06:27 - May 18 2007

Times viewed: 29



it makes me sick to know i have to share this house with you TU. You have to be the most closed minded person i have met in this house. With the experiences you speak of one would think there would be some form of maturity that came with it. May the Iron Clad House pick up should you be released and not deleted or permanatly blinded.











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WildChild

Vampire (16)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 19:08:35 - May 18 2007

Times viewed: 27



Just where were you disrespected or talked down too other then your own assumptions?













ToiletDuc

Master Vampire (29)





Re: Changes for Madadh-Alluidh **READ--IMPORTANT**

Posted: 19:53:17 - May 18 2007

Times viewed: 20



*grins*



I appreciate the support and fierce loyalty from you all, however, he won't be able to see nor respond. Moonie blinded him before I even saw his most recent reply to this thread.







no i have pasted every post word for word.. with side baring comments from other house members who shall keep their posts to in house. Where my i ask did our House Master tune his reign to king?

Never said there was a stupid question until...
23:56 May 18 2007
Times Read: 768

As best as i can remember it was July 5 1989 Chicago Ill. I was 18 fresh from high school and just begining my world travels. Now not having been far from home nor to what is considered a large city, here I am in the windy city headed for boot camp. (my incarseration in smurf clothing as i most often refer to it as) Doing my part to serve my country. (actually i was told a snow ball had a better chance in hell then i did getting money for college) Now here we are hot and humid as hell all lined up for roll call,when out of the blue the guy next to me asks where are you from.. I reply Oregon.... his relpy was what state is that in?... I knew then that this was not the place for me...

May 18 and what it means to me
17:56 May 18 2007
Times Read: 771

As you know if you read my profile i grew up in St. Helens,Oregon. The city is about 80 miles from the actual mountain which is in Washington state. It was a typical morning getting up getting ready for the day when the sounds of a loud and distant explosion has gone off. Well it had... The mountain blew it's top. The winds were blowing the opposite direction of us so i sat on our roof most of the morning watching the eruption. It was an experiance of a life time...One i am sure i will never forget.

This was about a night we had attended the Enclave
03:51 May 17 2007
Times Read: 779

Hi Scarlett,

Here is the blog entry from my site. Keep in mind that it may not be

100% accurate (I can't recall everything I wrote now) because I tend

to change things around a bit to make them more interesting to the

members, who tend to be specifically spankos, and not so into other

kinky stuff. Also, I refer to Brandon as my boyfriend on my blog

because it is less threatening to the members. Rest assured, he is

definately my Owner hehe

















Last weekend I had a new experience that I thought you all might

enjoy. You see, for all that I am a spanking model, I actually do not

often get spanked in front of people. Yes, I do occasionally attend

spanking parties such as the one hosted by Shadowlane or the Florida

Moonshine party. However, these are generally light hearted affairs

and are not the kind of severe spankings that are likely to mess with

my headspace. Heck, I'm unlikely even to do much more than yelp a bit.

The heavier stuff I almost always reserve for private play. Even at

video shoots there is rarely more than 2 or three essential people in

the room (someone to give the spanking, and someone to run the

cameras).



There are several reasons for this. The biggest reason is that I am

actually extremely self conscious about my reactions. Are you guys

shocked? I know my reactions are very popular with the members, but I

always think that people will think I am a wimp (which I am), and that

it is funny (which I know it sometimes is). I've accepted that those

reactions are part of what make my spankings entertaining, and make me

popular as a model. However, it is much weirder to do those things in

front of an unknown crowd of people who may or may not be so kind

about it. So, I pretty much don't do it. All of that changed for one

evening, though, when my boyfriend decided it would be fun to go to

the local bdsm club with friends.



It started innocently enough. A group of us were sitting around

talking about different implements, and somehow the subject of tawses

came up. Someone asked, "What's a tawse?" and before I knew it my

boyfriend had run to his toybag eager to show off one of the tawses

that we keep in our house. Well, he forgot the tawse. Trust me, I was

not upset by this in the least.



Unfortunately this started a snowball effect as he continued to pull

horrible items out of the bag. I take no responsibility for this,

because 90% of what he brought with him was gifts. He brought the Red

Meanie that Cody gave me, as well as several nasty gifts given to me

by Jeoffry (who you all can chat with here or on Happy Tails). These

included the exotic paddle made of redheart wood, and a horrible ebony

hairbrush. In fact, the only item that I bought for myself was the

Domestic Discipline strap from Ian of The London Tanners.



I tried to hope he would put all of these terrible things back in the

bag. It wasn't much use, though, because I knew he had every intention

of whacking me with them. Based on his choice of implements it was

also very clear that when he did whack me it would not be the light

hearted party affair that I am used to. So, when he pulled me over his

knee and started spanking me with the redheart paddle I made every

effort to be brave for the crowd. That didn't last long. I was quickly

crying and kicking and screaming into a pillow just as you all have

seen many times. This elicited a great response from the crowd

including laughing and shouts of advice.



He went through all the implements he brought and then some. You see,

spectators helpfully handed him their own weapons of ass destruction

to be tried. By the time he was done I was quite sore. I was also

ready to crawl under the nearest coffee table and hide. However,

ultimately the experience was a positive one. When all was said and

done both my boyfriend and I got several nice comments from the

spectators. We even had someone tell us we should do videos! hehe I

still don't love to be spanked in public, but the effect it has on me

was very interesting. I definitely want to think about this some more!

the monkey and a lizzard
03:37 May 17 2007
Times Read: 780

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when

a lizard walks past.



The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey!



what are you doing?"



The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join



me, my cold-blooded friend."



So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey

and they have another joint.



After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry',

and that he's going to get a drink from the river.



At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he

leans too far over and falls in.



A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned

lizard, helping him to the side.



He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"



The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was

sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He

then explaine! d how his mouth got dry, and that he

was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from

the river, he fell in!



The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this

out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree

where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.



He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"



The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK,

DUDE....... how much water did you drink?"

it's true but it is for most cities
03:32 May 17 2007
Times Read: 781




1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name. It is:

FEE-nicks". There are other names to learn such as Ahwatukee

(Ah-wah-TOO-kee) but those will be included in the advanced course.



2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour

is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.



3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101,

your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything

less is considered "Wussy".



4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own

version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest

muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires

go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms

ALWAYS have the right of way.



5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended,

cussed out, and possibly shot.



6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can

get you shot.



7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour

barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the

night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.



8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,

barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires,

squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners,

rattlesnakes, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.



9. The Maricopa Freeway, The Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same

road. SR202 is the same road as Loop 202 and The Red Mountain Freeway.

SR51 is also known as Piestewa Parkway, but no one can pronounce

Piestewa so it is still called by its politically incorrect former name,

the Squaw Peak Parkway. Dunlap and Olive are the same street. Jefferson

becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. Loop 101 is also

known as the Pima Freeway except when it is west of I-17. I-17 is also

The Black Canyon Freeway and The Veterans Memorial Highway. The Loop 303

does not loop anywhere. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd., but

Cactus Rd. does not become Thunderbird Rd. because it deadends at a

mountain.



10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the

shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally

activated."



11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone,

you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

If you return the flip, you could be shot.



12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your

hands.



13. True Phoenicians ALWAYS seek to park in a shady spot, even before

the sun has risen, and no matter how far the parking space is from the

office/store/restaurant. This is why you will see cars widely scattered

around a parking lot instead of clustered in one place; these people

arrived early to park in covered spaces or under trees.



14. If the driver stopped in front of you at a red light suddenly opens

his passenger door, it is advisable to quickly avert your eyes before he

spits out his chewing tobacco

more things i helpful
03:26 May 17 2007
Times Read: 782
























How do I swear in Spanish ?



Marica, maricón, mariconazo - Gay, big gay, faggot

mariquita - Little gay

chapero - gay bitch

Bastardo - Bastard

Cabron - Fucking Bastard

Polla, nabo, rabo, verga, cipote - Dick

Gilipollas, tontopollas - dickhead, asshole

Pichacorta - little dick

cojones, pelotas, huevos - balls, eggs

Cojonazos - Bigballs

Coño, chocho, raja - cunt

Chichi - Pussy

pelos de los huevos/coño - Pubic hair

Mierda - Shit

cagar, jiñar - to shit

Chupame la polla - Suck my dick

Chupamela - Suck it

chupar - tu suck

puta - whore, bitch

zorra, guarra - fox, dirty girl

hijo de puta - son of a bitch, motherfucker

follar, joder, chingar - to fuck

Me cago en ti - I shit over you

Chorra, Pinnus - Stupid

que te jodan - fuck you

que te den por culo - fuck off you

Cabron - fucking bastard

Payaso - Clown

Desgraciado - Unlucky (means "son of a bitch")

calientapollas - cockteaser

me cago en la hostia - Fucking Damn it! (literaly: I shit in the communion

wafers)

me cago en la leche! - I shit in the milk! (means something like "shit, i've

have bad luck")

besame el culo - kiss my ass

hijo de mil putas - son of thousand bitches

metete un palo por el culo - shove a stick up your ass

hueles a mierda - you smell like shit

Jode a tu madre - Fuck your mom



South American Spanish:



Mariposa - Gay (mex.)

joto - faggot (mex.)

Pinga - Dick

Chilito - little dick

panocha - pussy

chimba - pussy (Colombian)

chichis - breasts

Chinga tu madre - Fuck your mom

pendejo/pendeja - (m/f) asshole, dickhead, etc.

chingar - to fuck

pinche - kitchboy

Cago en tu leche - I shit in your milk.

hazte cojer - go and get fucked

Pinche Cabron - fucking son of a bitch (not literal)



concha - bitch (Argentina)

coger - to fuck (Argentina)

La chichi - the girl (Argentina)

La pija/verga - the dick (Argentina)

El orto/ojete - the ass (Argentina)

chupame la pija - suck my dick (Lit: Suck me the dick) (Argentina)

Las tetas - the boobs (Argentina)

El/La Pendejo/a - To call a teenager in a bad way. (Argentina)

La reputisima madre que te remil pario - The more bitch (superlativ) that had

you born a thousend times. (Argentina)

Puto/a del orto - That you are a gay/bitch that fuck through your ass.

(Argentina)

the jokes i get
03:51 May 03 2007
Times Read: 796

llamabadgerduc: Ok, so a sadist, a masochist, a pyromaniac, a zoophile, a murderer, and a pyromaniac are all sitting in the waiting room at a psychiatrist's office.

llamabadgerduc: The zoophile looks up and says, "Hey, I'm tired of waiting. Let's go fuck a cat."

llamabadgerduc: The sadist adds, "Let's fuck a cat, then torture it."

llamabadgerduc: The murderer says, "Let's fuck a cat, torture it, then kill it."

llamabadgerduc: The necrophilliac says, "Let's fuck a cat, torture it, kill it, then fuck it again."

llamabadgerduc: The pyromaniac says, "Let's fuck a cat, torture it, kill it, fuck it again, then set it on fire."

llamabadgerduc: After a few moments of silence, they all look at the masochist and ask, "Well, don't you have anything to add?"

llamabadgerduc: The masochist looks up and says, "Meow."



i truely love my friends....