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Intolerable Cruelity

October 16th, 2003



Intolerable Cruelity

I know you so well

You sit right beside me

Hold my hand when I cry

I swear if I didn't love you

so much,

I would wish you to die.



You know what I'm going through

there is then, no reason for me to lie.

You know my pain

it worsens, did you know that,

everyday.



You brush it aside,

making me feel better (for a while)

there's nothing you can do.

I will just suffer in silence,

with a smile on my face.

Don't worry,

it's always been my way.



Someday I hope,

You'll see me the same way

I see you.

Someday I hope.



I could be evil

and wish to meet someone else

just so that when you

see me

the way i see you...

You'll feel the pain

And you will think

I am the one, who is,

Intolerably crule.

Within Us All



January 9th, 2001



The beast within us all,

The beast...

Our deepest secrets,

Our darkest hours.

Hiding, lurking, waiting

For us to break.

Waiting, feeding upon our fears.

The beast grows stronger.

The beast gains control.

He's in my head,

He's there, I know it!

Help, Help me,

It's like a whirlwind.

I can't stop him,

I cannont win.

The beast is real,

The beast is strong.

He's in my head,

He's taken over.

It's no longer me...

It's no longer me...

The beast within us all,

Is now fully me.

Because I can’t have you

5/30/05 11:35 pm



My heart bleeds.

I go to sleep upon tear stained pillows.

When I do sleep, I dream of things that cannot be



Because I want you,

That’s makes me bad…

That makes me evil…

That makes me wicked.



You inspire me

You ignite me

You are wonderful..

You make me feel alive.

You are my sweet complication.



I cannot have you, but I dream still,

I wish each night upon that star.

I know my fate, and I know yours

I have seen our future, and they are not entwined



I have a secret little lie…

That I come home from every night

I retreat into my dreams,

where you are mine.



And I shy away form the morning where reality lives.

She has a name, this reality of mine.

She has a smile you kiss goodnight,

She has two eyes that light your soul.

They are not my two eyes,

Only in my dreams,

My eyes tell that lie.



We cry and say we are sorry,

We laugh and say we understand.

My is greater than yours,

My lie keeps me warm at night.



I am not that smile you kiss goodnight

I am not she,

I am poor sad little me.

One shouldn’t tell lies…



I am a bad person.

My lie is greater still,

For I wish to lie,

And never stop.



I want to be that horrible person,

I want to live that lie.

I want to see myself through your eyes

I want your smile to warm my lonely nights.

I am horrible,

I want she to be me.

As much as it pains me,

I want it still,

I want to taste the salt upon my cheeks,

I want my heart to bleed.

You make me feel.

I want to feel.



I will keep my secret little lie,

And I will still get lost in your eyes.

I wil lie in bed where I feel safe,

And dream of things that cannot be.

This I know, and this must be,

For heart to heart,

Out hearts cannot be.

All of this sweet torture

Because I cannot have you.