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VioletShadows's Journal


VioletShadows's Journal

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1 entry this month
 

Crackle

05:54 Dec 06 2018
Times Read: 334


The crackling thought of you in silence
Like lightening split a fissure in the sky
Visible to anyone who looked up
But no one looked, only my transfixed eye

Static went out from my tingling body
Lifting the weighted into weightlessness
Suspended by the reaction of thought
Conjuring you in this gracelessness

Hanging silent without a wire above
Abeyance, and without a net below
Each detail of your harshness was softened
With the same kindnesses time passed bestows

Cursing your echoed voice was so distant
I could no longer discern it’s your own
Was it only desire to remember
That reassured me it’s your voice alone?

Shapeless air moved in the stealthy silence
With the sensation that prickled my skin
But I couldn’t trust it’s only the air
When there was so much that moved me within

Not just the unspoken of the moment
But the purgatory of all before
All my silences heavy with longing
All your silences inept and unsure

So, this phantom that left me returns now
Does he bear the wisdom of passing time?
Has his vision sharpened, his thinking cleared?
Does he see the Epic between the lines?

I think not, as this spirit is waiting
Not so, of this pensive apparition
Never yet, with this elusive soulmate
And nevermore, with such mild contrition

The space between his form and my body
A chasm of the greatest endeavor
One that cannot be scaled, jumped or forded
Or conquered, only to dissever

I am as I was, and always will be
The same in all my parts, as I am whole
If he could not see me with my heart bared
He cannot earn my now protected soul

I will miss the prickling of the air outside
And the trembling rush within my heart
That just a singular thought can cost me
Aching regret and longing he imparts

Those crackling thoughts, I see, are just memories
Now tired little embers extinguished
No longer with power to split the sky
Prize or lost trinket undistinguished

I liked the pleasure of pain- I craved it
Because it was truly the only thin thread
Weaving the cloth of storied connection
At once silently entwined bliss and dread

But a thread rendered us unraveled
Just as it once rendered us tightly bound
Under a blanket of warmth and desire
Now there is only thin sheet and hard ground

So, I am cold in miserable silence
You’re unmoved as a heartless, bloodless husk
While your frigid shadow stays impotent
Like the slow, creeping sadness of veiled dusk


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