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So I switched to watching Disney movies today thinking that they would keep my mind off of my fiance. NOPE! I started with Mulan. I forgot that all of the freaking soldiers get killed. Then Snow White is all about true love. Grr... I can't watch anything with out it reminding me of him! I just want something to take my mind off of all the time that I have on my hands. All of the time that I have to spend alone, stressed and worrying. I hope that happens soon cuz I am gonna start cleaning the house soon and that is not one of my favorite tasks to do.

So I went Christmas shopping today with my mother and sister for the rest of the family today. It is amazing all the crap that we buy for people that they don't need or possibly even want. I did have a few depressing moments though. Which is weird right, cuz shopping for other people is supposed to make you feel good. You know giving to others and all that jazz. Hell shopping for most girls is supposed to make you in a better mood. Anyways.... So we go into this clothing store in the mall and all of the clothes in there are for literally stick people! I felt like crap all of these cute clothes and I can't even fit into them in my dreams! I almost wanted to run out of there and scream. What is the deal with society wanting to have these rail skinny females around. SERIOUSLY! Real women are larger than a size 6. Grrr... I just wanted to burn the place to the ground to make myself feel better but my "manners" prevented that.

My wish this season?



I want him back back in my bed every night. But I will settle for a phone call more often. I know that he is busy with his patriotic duty and that he can't tell me what exactly is going on but DAMN IT! I want to here his sexy voice and tell him about my day. I want to tell him every single detail down to what I ate and how much. I miss his smile and his touch, his stare, the smell of him, listening to his stupid music. I even miss our little fights that we make up just to have a little fun. I miss our random drive to seattle or who knows where. I want him to take me to some spot on post that he thought of out of the blue. 12 months is too long to be away from the one you love. Yeah he gets to come back for 2 weeks in February but come on! 2 WEEKS! That isn't enough when you can't see the one person in your life that makes you feel like you are normal and beautiful and the most precious thing in the world even if it is only for a millisecond. I miss my life... my entire world... my reason for breathing in and out everyday.. my reason for everything! I want my other half back. No he isn't just my other half he is my soul mate, my beloved, my dark angel that give me shade in the sun, my rock, my anchor, my life! I feel like my whole life has been put on pause since he has gone. If only our wonderful president would realize how much the families of those soldiers suffer maybe he wouldn't be sending 30,000 more troops over there. As it stands now my love is scheduled to come home in late October/early November, Get 2 weeks of leave, Go train half-way across the state for 1 to 3 weeks in January, and then get deployed again in January 2012! I am new to this whole "army spouse" thing but I am sick of it already! Ugh! I am so angry right now I could kill someone but I will just have to pent up all of my frustrations and give all of this energy to my love when he comes home on leave. I will defiantly make sure that he knows that I am grateful for what he is doing for our country. Hehehe! Anyways. Thanks for reading my break down and ranting. Don't be surprised if I write more on the subject.

I am looking for anyone in the Seattle, WA area that would like to talk. I am not looking for any kind of romantic relationship. Just some kind of pen-pal relationship. Anyone reading this is welcome to message me.

COMMENTS

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AlieNation
07:52 Aug 26 2010

Yes we are here, us and misfitchick...



Hope it works out...

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Sometimes I wish I didn't have a life during the daylight hours. Yet I contunually put myself in the position of obligation in getting up at the crack of dawn to do what is required of me. I have always loved the night and loathed the morning. But now a days I can't sleep for more than 2 hours. Grrrr... If I didn't have things to do during the day I would sleep all day and stay up all night! Forgive the slight shift in topic but I am not liking this holiday season! Every time I turn on the radio to xmas music all the songs are about getting your loved ones back in time for xmas. Grrrrr.... I don't get to have my beloved back for xmas I don't get to see him until the end of freaking Feb! Then I go hang with my human friends who don't even feel a fraction of the love that I feel for my love and my heart breaks. I just want him back in my arms keeping me warm this season. I want my partner back so these body aches stop so I can be happy and not miserable. So I don't have to constantly worry about his safety, both mental and physical. I all I want for xmas is him lying in the bed next to me with out a scratch on him (well maybe a few marks *grins*) and knowing that all is well in the world, if only for a moment.

So life is going okay for me right now. My beloved is in Afganistan fighting for our freedom. I am starting school in January which is very exciting for me. Ugh! Tomorrow I have to go to a family xmas party. Fun I get to deal with all kinds of drama and people I don't like very much. I really want something exciting to happen. I need something to pass the time. Grrrr!!!!!!