A Fairytale Gone Wrong02:06 May 14 2010
Times Read: 583
Written November 25 2009 and never entered into the Journal Database.
Have you ever felt like someone shot you through the chest, but missed your heart altogether? It leaves a big hole; wide, gaping, painful hole, leaking out the essence of which you believe was their friendship.
Have you ever loved someone, but not been allowed to seek the comfort of their arms? Been stuck with someone you could never continue to love after finding the one person you would kill to be with? Ever been trapped by distance? To know that there is someone that you love, who once loved you, but you can no longer reach their heart with your words?
Have you ever fallen in love, realised it was a mistake, but cant leave.. even though you are in love with another person? What if that person told you that they weren't willing to fight for you. Would you be able to stop loving them? If you felt deep down that they were the one person that could heal all the past hurts and pains, if only they were willing, would you be able to ignore that love that you feel when they are not willing to wait? Once they get up and move on, what is left for you to do, but the same?
It is like a sad song, or a story with a misplaced ending. To love someone so much, to still feel for them, after you have moved on with your life, and them with theirs.. it is painful. No, that isn't the right word. It is more than that. More than pain, and torture, and heartbreak. It is worse. It is an unrequited love.
What if, after you have jumped ahead in life, moved past all the friendliness and dived into unknown waters, you surface and see that the one person you wish could return the heart-wrenching love you feel for them is no longer willing to look down river at you wading in the water? You feel lost in a sea of things you no longer trust, or find familiar.
Them not feeling anything toward you, not showing recognition, not acknowledging your existence.. is this not grounds to stand on to cry? Is this the part where you are supposed to let go? But what if you can't? Even though you know it is the proper thing to do, what if you are not noble enough to do what is right?
Can you still hold on in silence? Can you endure the pain? Without the willpower to let go.. that is all you can do, unfortunately. Watch from a distance as someone else, lives out the life you want, with the person you will always love. Sit by and allow yourself to be ignored, for their happiness and bliss.
Try to be happy for them. Sit back and plaster a smile as genuine as you can force onto your face while you blatantly lie about how amazing and beautiful their new love is. Truly tell them you are glad they are happy, but inside cry about how you wish it was with you instead.
Never let those words slip out. Or all ties will be severed. Never tell that person what it is you truly feel.. how desperately you wish it was you they were holding. Never again let them know how easy it is for them to hurt you. For this is what love truly is. Allowing yourself to suffer for the person you would die for, just to see them happy.
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Amazing what mere mortals will put themselves through in the name of "love".
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