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I feel like i'm losing myself. i'm 22 going on 99. I feel like nothing is special to my ignorant mind. I know there is, but i'm denying myself. I hate when i do that. I have friends that i enjoy. i am too fierce sometimes for as well as to them. I can't help my nature. i love to love, and when i hate, there is no power greater to me. i could seethe for months and i have even done this for a year or so. i am perplexed by my sexuality. i'm doubting my own prowess. I think because goth is widely unaccepted, the holliser nation of non- surfing folk here in midland, don't understand. I feel like i'm alone. all the time. I get called a freak and many other things here. but i could care less. they are only words from a slack jawed maroon. It takes myself to bring me down. I figured that. i would be my own worst enemy.... i'll continue again when i can regain control over the million of thoughts flooding my head as of now....