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This hurts so bad
I can't stand the pain
I want to breath but I'm choking on the oxygen
I've cried so many tears I expect my eyes to bleed
The weight of what I must do is crushing my spirt
You were the one, the one that was different
Or so you said, you broke me too
The pieces are scatter on the floor
I can feel myself slowly dying
The first step it's the hardest one to take
I know what i must do
Take a breath......
And walk away.....

Twinkle twinkle little star
You burning ball of death
Incinerate me with your beauty
So far way yet so close
I can see you but not touch
Take me away into the night
where I long to stay
twinkle twinkle little star
Away from me is where you are....

Because you didn't want to lose him/her, you lost yourself in the process.

You became a girl/guy who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying "I'm used to it". You became a girl/guy who kept being unappreciated and you began to tell yourself "It's okay". You became a girl/guy who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say "I'm fine". You became a girl/guy who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with "It's whatever". You became a girl/guy who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating "Everything's okay". You became a girl/guy who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people "I'm gonna be fine". And if you're reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy/girl is worth losing yourself for, no guy/girl is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness, and no guy/girl is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making him/her happy. At this point, perhaps losing him/her is the only way you'd be able to get yourself back because as much as you wouldn't want this to be true, he/she is the only thing that's in your way of finding yourself and he/she is the only reason you've lost yourself for so long.

The time has come for me to go
I've serve my purpose
I helped to break the bonds and chains that held you
and now I have to go without you
you need to grow and spread your wings
not be weighted down by the poison Within Me
you deserve more from the world
I'm trapped in my own hell and will not bring you with me
go live free grow and be happy
I'm glad to have known you
I will think of you always

I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah, I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can’t escape the gravity
I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
You say that I'm paranoid
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me
It's not like I make the choice
To let my mind stay so fucking messy
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything’s about me
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Why is everything so heavy?
Why is everything so heavy?

Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can't keep
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We're quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair
Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We're quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We're quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
Well I do

Alone in my thoughts
Words I'm to scared to speak
I don't know how to feel
Unsure of how to be
You make me feel different
Almost free
Like a prisoner trapped in her cell
Your the cool drink of water that provides relief
I don't know why I feel this way
You came to me in the dark part of my life
And showed me the darkness is ok
I'm not scared more confused
I'm torn between what I want and what I should do
You bring joy back into my life and ask for nothing in return
I want to do that for you but I don't know how
it's something I'm not good at
I've always built a wall to keep people out and push them away
But with you I've never felt that way
I opened the vein and let my life flow out
Said things to you I'd never talk about
I am closed off to everthing around me but to you i want to be an open book
I don't know how, or why
I guess that's what scares me deep down inside
How someone can come into my life that i hardly know and I be so open
Now I feel so closed off from you
With this i don't know what to do
How do I close a door so far open
I know it's my fault because I don't know how to act around you
I'm so nervous and shy, beaten down and broken
I want a connection but have lost my ability to connect
You know more about my struggle then my closest friends do
so far away yet I'm still so open to you
I can't wrap my head around it it's all still to new
These are my thoughts
The words I can't say to you....

Peace......
Calm......
Serenity.....
I feel it on the Wind and in the rain
In the dark of night as I sleep it envelops me
A blanket in the darkness
No fear....
It eases the tension in my restless soul
Carrying me to places unknown.....

I don't care anymore if I let you down
I believe that I need to be free
I'm so used to my life with you around
I don't know anymore....the real me
And i thought i found my self today
And I thought that I had control
All the change in my life just fell away
For a moment I didn't need you
All these tears that I've cried
You must be tired of taking care of me but
Its what you do best and
I'm a liar cause really its what I need
And I thought that I found myself today
And I thought that I had control
All the change in my life just fell away
For a moment I didn't need you
Someone like you
Someone like me
Maybe its change that set you free
Free....
And I thought that I found myself today
And I thought that I had control
All the change in my life just fell away
For a moment I didn't need you
And I thought that I found myself today
And I thought that I had control
All the change in my life just fell away
For a moment I didn't need you

So much drama here it's either fuck me or fight me.....sigh guess I'll go back to VF either way both have there issues but at least you can just talk to people get along have a decent conversation ......... I'll see you around.......

As a child I would play barefoot in the grass take delight in getting wet in the rain I would knot crowns of wild flowers to wear alone but with out fear I long for that connection to nature

Time......space......silence......grace......all of this I must embrace.
The world is a cold and lonely place.

I know I'm fucked up
My brain is twisted
My body used
Behind this smile is a lie
I am broken and abused
I don't need to be fixed just heard
Lend me an ear as I spew the venom rotting me from within
I am a wary soldier of a life hard lived
When I'm knocked down I rise again
Forever fighting in a world with no place for me

I want to know why in this day and age that it is so hard to carry on a conversation with someone it can be meaningless it can be funny it can be whatever you're talking about but nowadays we get two word statements when I talk to someone I really want to talk to them if we were talking about something you're not really into change the subject I'm sure we can find other things to talk about long story short I'm bored I need something to do come talk to me

COMMENTS

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Temno
00:43 Aug 14 2018

Always here to talk

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Dakotah
00:50 Aug 14 2018

I fear the art of talking, conversing to people is dying. Seems this is the age of texting and such. More times then not here and other social sites I belong too conversations are one sided, with as you say getting two word replies is getting to be the norm. However, there are some here whom do indeed know how to have amazing and interesting conversations and when I find them here I become friends with them.

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POST COMMENT

The open wound she hides
She just keeps it bundled up and never lets it show
She can't take much more of this but she can't let it go
That's okay, she don't want the world
And all the things she says
She's just lying there without someone to hear her cry
She slips off into a dream about a place to hide
That's okay, she don't want the world
This love she feels
Everything she's ever known or ever thought was real
Seems like it's been thrown away now how she gonna live
It's okay, she don't want the world
Those words she never spoke
Hold a life of memories of all the times before
She tried to show him love while he would only ask for more
But it's okay, she don't want the world
Softly in her sleep, pictures of the life she's longing for slowly appear
She's seen them all before but somehow never quite this clear
She just smiles, she don't want the world
She don't want the world, she don't want the world
She don't want the world, she don't want the world
This love she feels
Everything she's ever known or ever thought was real
Seems like it's been thrown away now how she gonna live
It's okay, she don't want the world
A brand new morning shines as she wakes up alone again
This time to face the day
She swears this time to make it as she simply walks away
And it's okay, she don't want the world

COMMENTS

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XbluesandX
14:54 Aug 13 2018

Good one

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Vampireplaytoy
15:00 Aug 13 2018

Indeed.....it hits home for me

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POST COMMENT

Apocalyptica: not strong enough

I'm not strong enough to stay away.
Can't run from you.
I just run back to you.
Like a moth I'm drawn into your flame.
Say my name,
But it's not the same.

You look in my eyes.
I'm stripped of my pride.
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to its knees.

And it's killin' me when you're away.
I wanna leave and I wanna stay.
And I'm so confused,
So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.

And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind.
And I'm not strong enough to stay away.

I'm not strong enough to stay away.
What can I do?
I would die without you.
In your presence my heart knows no shame.
I'm not to blame
'Cause you bring my heart to its knees.

And it's killin' me when you're away.
And I wanna leave and I wanna stay.
And I'm so confused,
So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.

And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind.
And I'm not strong enough to stay away.

There's nothing I can do.
My heart is chained to you.
And I can't get free.
Look what this love's done to me.

And it's killin' me when you're away.
And I wanna leave and I wanna stay.
And I'm so confused,
So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.

And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind.
And I'm not strong enough to stay away.

Not strong enough, strong enough
Not strong enough, strong enough to stay away
Not strong enough, strong enough
Not strong enough, strong enough
I'm not strong enough to stay away

Maybe the sky's falling out around the babies
Maybe the world is gonna spin out of control
I don't care anymore
What if I quit today working for the man
And said I've had enough, well, maybe I can
Cause It's all gonna end anyway
Tell me doctor, whats the cure, for the wicked man's blues

Fly Dragonfly
Fly Dragonfly

When the sky, falls to the sea
I won't mind
The cause in me
When the wind burns through the trees,
I won't cry for dragonfly

Fly Dragonfly
Fly Dragonfly

When I come
Get me a piece
Take my advice
Just let me be

When the moon, turns black as night
We'll bathe in the fires,
Of Dragonfly

Fly Dragonfly

Don't take so long
I'll be there before you know
I See you in my mind's eye
Fly dragonfly
Fly Dragonfly
Fly Dragonfly

Fly Dragonfly

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again
So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there
Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not care
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know
If you still care don't ever let me know

COMMENTS

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DarkestTemptation
18:56 Aug 20 2018

I love this song by them

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POST COMMENT

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye
Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!
I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!
Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole

Trapped in my mind my thoughts are vicious
Like vipers coiled and ready to strike
There poison sets deep
Never letting me be
Not worthy, nothing, never be, worthless, tainted
They strike at me
Pull me from this pit I need to be free
In my mind is a prison built only for me

Behind the mask is the girl you don't know she seems strong but so frail she seems lite and aware though her thoughts are of dispare she paints a smile for the world to see because she knows the burden she can be she Carries the weight of her sorrow alone as she searches for the happiness unknown day to day it stays the same hidden behind the plaster frame

COMMENTS

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Liliancat
16:45 Aug 11 2018

Very nice

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Vampireplaytoy
18:26 Aug 12 2018

Thank you

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POST COMMENT

I pirouette in the dark
I see the stars through me
Tired mechanical heart
Beats til the song disappears
Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
If only the clockworks could speak
I wouldn't be so alone
We burn every magnet and spring
And spiral into the unknown
Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray
If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray
(Only)
Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!

The wrong one will find you in peace and leave you in pieces

But the right one will find you in pieces and lead you to peace

The winds of change are upon me I must open my sails and trust in the gods that they will lead me to Valhalla where my warrior soul can be freed Oden all father send your valkyries to mold your daughter in to who she needs to be.

Victory........or Valhalla!!

COMMENTS

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Liliancat
12:21 Aug 10 2018

Short is the time of acting and long the hour for fiesting
Die glorious or live long and hard
Valhala awaits

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Vampireplaytoy
12:36 Aug 10 2018

Skol!!!

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I'm the destroyer of all Things good, I suffocate them as I drown in myself. Somehow always managing to push people away. I'm just like the repaired pieces of broken glass, even though I'm whole you can still see the cracks and Jagged imperfections of a story Untold.

I’ve got a forbidden love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I’ve got a new modern love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I won’t pretend that I don’t feel
The way I feel
I can’t forget the taste of something that’s real
Step into my closet and maybe you’ll find
Something that’ll scare you
Something that you like
Your old familiar logic is poison on your lips
It’s nothing in the water
That’s just the way it is
I’ve got a forbidden love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I’ve got an uncommon love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I don’t care if you don’t want it
'Cause I, I got it
Don’t care if you don’t get it
'Cause I, I still want it
I’ve got a new modern love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up, no
You can’t rewire these circuits any other way
Yeah, you can twist the signal
The message is the same
Step out of your bubble and
Maybe you will find
Something that’ll save you
Something that you like
Your old familiar logic is poison on your lips
There’s nothing in the water
It's just the way it is
I’ve got a forbidden love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I’ve got an uncommon love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I don’t care if you don’t want it
'Cause I, I got it
Don’t care if you don’t get it
'Cause I, I still want it
I’ve got a new modern love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up, no
Step into my closet and maybe you will find
Something that’ll scare you
Something that you like
There’s something that you like
There’s something that you like
I don’t care if you don’t want it
'Cause I, I got it
Don’t care if you don’t get it
'Cause I, I still want it
I’ve got a new modern love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up, no
Not giving it up
Not giving it up, no
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up, no

I have been awakened
No longer afraid of the darkness in me
It takes a hold of me
Within it's cold embrace I am free
No worries or pain
In the darkness it melts away
I bathe in the glow of the new moon
As it washes my transgressions away
Take me in sweet darkness
And my i never leave
As I live with the darkness in me...