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I feel so bad right now! I dont know what to do anymore! Okay to be blunt I cheated on my exboyfriend, Will, because I was unhappy in our relationship. A mistake I know but people make mistakes. I cheated on my current boyfriends, Cory...because of a couple reasons. One, I didnt know we were dating at the time (he says we were but it was never official so I didnt know), two I still didnt think we were dating (plus I was trying to get over him) and three, because I thought he basically told me he didnt care if I made out with other people when he wasnt here and I decided to test it (I was lonely) And now I feel HORRIBLE!!! I know I mad e mistakes and I apologize it seems everyday for them and I feel like shit CONSTANTLY for them but then I just dont know what to do...I've promised to him it would never happen again and it has been a LONG while since it happened but suddenly he's bringing it up and saying he cant trust me to not do it again and he wont trust me until he gets home which is in May! And to top it all off he's punishing me for my sisters mistake! I know it was myfault to cheat on him and I would do anything to take back the hurt I caused those people but I cant. Its in the past. I need to be forgiven but I will NEVER forget my mistakes.

And because Cory is mad at me I feel like I have no one to talk to. I have based all my needs on him and I KNOW thats a heavy load especially with all the shit I have walled but inside me. So I feel like I have no one to talk to about all this and get it out and feel like people are listening to me. I tried to slit my wrists earlier but the knife was to dull. I dont know if it was a good thing or not. We will find out late rI guess.