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I'm pissy and annoyed and torn. I like the idea of beating the shit out of something, but at the same time I'd just really like to hide from the world. I think I'd enjoy a comatose state--I wouldn't have to know anything going on around me, I wouldn't have to care about anything, and best of all--I could be left alone. I'm so freakin sick of people who claim to care but don't really. I'm tired of everybody yelling for/at me--I don't want to please everyone, at this point I wonder if I care about pleasing anyone.



What about me? Can't I ever be happy? It's not fair for everybody to use me for their own purposes and look down on me for trying to get some joy out of life for myself. I am not a rug and I am not meant to be walked on. Someday they'll all see that using me only alienates me further--maybe then they'll regret it, but will they change?