The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Answerless Questions
08:42 Sep 28 2005
Times Read: 615

If I could just hate you even in the smallest measure

Maybe I would be able to sleep tonight

I don't know why you left me without saying a word

And probably never will



The worse part is that I could have loved you

I was there.... so close...

But before I touched it with my bare hands

You were already on your way to your next victim



You gave me excuses when I asked what was wrong

Sickness... busy... work... children... too tired

It was always something that was keeping us apart

I made time for you... neglected others for you



I reread some of your letters that I had saved

And I cried despite myself as I hid in the dark

I was ashamed of my emotions

How deep they were from such a short time



I threw away your telephone number today

Deleted our long conversations

Took you off of every friend's list I have

Stopped talking about you



I've tried to delete you completely

Thinking that it'll be easier on me that way

But I still remember your laugh

Our plans for Halloween



If writing about this wasn't therapy

I wouldn't even bother to rehash these feelings

My first instinct is to bury this pain you caused

But that would only hurt me more



If your goal this whole entire time was to hurt me

Congratulations, you did... wounds are endless

If your goal was to break me

Better luck next time, asshole...

Painted With Blood
18:09 Sep 23 2005
Times Read: 623

Standing vulnerable before you

Draped only in my pride

You begged me to give myself

"You never know what could be until you try"



Played it over and over again in my head

Analyzed it... dissected it into pieces

Couldn't pass up the offer you made

For I was weak... and you offered strength



Looking over the side, I began to panic

For I was afraid of the pain... the fall... the outcome

The rocks serrated beneath us

Oh the damage they could do to such a broken soul



Held out your hand as I started to back away

I stood looking at your soft face

Heard you laugh... and had no other choice

Emotionally began to fall



You walked to me... held me tight

Promising me a safe landing

We met eyes... and shed a tear down my pale cheek

Stood at the edge and leaped despite myself



On the way down, I saw that I was alone

You left so silently... I somehow missed you

Hit the bottom with great impact

Breaking me instantly on the ground



Seeing you safely on the cliff, my heart breaks loudly

I don't curse your name... or speak at all

As you walk away, I let you for I care too much to hurt you

And silently weep among the sharp rocks painted with blood

Speechless
06:04 Sep 21 2005
Times Read: 629

*curls into a little ball in the corner... weeps silently over the blank pages of my journal... finding no words for the emotion I feel*

Exception
02:55 Sep 15 2005
Times Read: 637

After William I promised

God... myself... anyone that would listen

Last time would be the last time

No more opening myself up to someone

Hurts to damn much



I was OK with being single for the rest of my life

I'd never have to worry about abuse

The heartache... or the agony of the breakup

No pieces to pick up afterwards

I thought if I can keep moving, I'd be alright



But... what if... what if he's the one?

He's willing... so willing to try

Can I turn away from that?

The mixture of our laughter heals our hearts

Should I deny him... deny me... possible happiness?



How will it start... how will it end...

I'm so scared... of the pain... of the joy

The promises seem too good to be true

He's so beautiful... accent so sweet

I... how... what if... *sighs*



I try to walk away but my legs won't move

He's on my mind non-stop...

This is just the beginning and I can't breathe

Don't know what it is I'm feeling

I fear that it's butterflies



Now we've crossed paths for a unknown reason

He says all of the right things at the right time

And the worse part of it is...

I believe him... trusting completely...

Oh God... please, I beg you... don't let me break again



This road is so unclear at this point

But I'm going to walk it

Seeing where it leads us to

I've got a good feeling about this

And I've got his hand to hold along the way

One Night
18:48 Sep 13 2005
Times Read: 650

Let me shut the blinds on the windows

Unplug the telephone

No interruptions I promise

Just you and me... just this once



Lay down next to me here in the dark

Just one night is all I need

Wrap your strong arms around me

Tell me no lies



You don't have to say a word

I just crave your embrace

Pretend I'm someone else, if you'd like

But please just stay



I'll turn my back as you take off your clothes

Look upon me if you wish

I'm yours for the night

You're mine



I'm so weary of this journey

Desperate need of healing

And I want a connection with someone

You... only you will do tonight



Your smell is so comforting

Your arms are where safety abides

Don't mind the tears, my love

I'm fine



I didn't ask you here for sex

That's not what tonight is about

Hold me close... it's getting cold

Please don't patronize this broken soul



Morning's arriving soon

With the sun you'll disappear

It's what we agreed on

But baby, don't let go until then



I hope you don't mind the whiskey on my breath

Or the smoke on my fingers

I'm sorry for the tears sliding down your body

You're so beautiful lying here



Here comes the sun

I can see it start to shine over the hills

Can I ask one more thing of you?

Tell me that you love me

Broken Mirror Pieces
06:48 Sep 08 2005
Times Read: 674






Sitting in silence... waiting for the pain to subside

If only for a moment

My head's pounding from behind

I feel like I'm going to throw up...

I don't know what I'd puke

But I'm sure my body would find something



I start to rock... moving to distract myself

Takes in a deep breath

Closes eyes real tight

"You're Ok, Sherry... just breathe."

I begin to laugh at the statement

OK, huh?



A memory surfaces as I let the night consume me

"Well, I guess this is the end... I’ve fought a good fight."

Before I know it, the tears fall without warning

I run my long fingers through my hair then up and down my arms

"I miss you, Daddy."

The whisper bounces off the bare walls... echoing back



I stump my feet on the hard ground

Screaming at the top of my lungs

Rips pages out of the Bible laying beside me

Pounds violently on the bed at first

Soon I'm too weak to move

Wraps up in a blanket to hide from the world



I hear his laugh... slams pillow over head

Tries to shake away the memories... the promises... the unfinished plans

Worsens headache instead

I hold my breath as I smell his cologne

I picture his green lifeless body...

Closes eyes until they begin to hurt



I claw at the green wall as I hear another voice

"Just kill yourself, Sherry. Life's not worth the pain."

*Shakes head* "No! No! Please leave me alone."

The voice gets louder... louder... louder...

I break down and sob... pounds bed...

Screams... "Fuck you!" into the night...

Silence

Chains
06:39 Sep 05 2005
Times Read: 686

My hearts heavy tonight

I can feel the depression settle upon my chest

As a tear slowly falls down my moist cheek

I remember the times you promised more than you could deliver

Which was a daily occurrence

One shattered hope after another

You held me so tight as you ripped the flesh off of my body



"You are everything a man could want and more."

"You're never going to make a man happy if you don't change."

"You are so mature for your age."

"You need to fuckin grow up, kid."

"I love you so much. I want to marry you one day."

"I hate you sometimes."

The emotional and mental abuse was endless



Tears can never repair what you've destroyed

Time can't restore my scattered dreams

Nor could it ever mend by pride you walked upon

When you called me that October morning

Told me of the whore

And the life that you made inside of her

I wasn't even fully awake when you broke me

How could you do that?



I feel naked and transparent

You told me to let you touch me

"Just a little closer." you always said

I trusted your gentle laugh and angelic voice

Emptiness is all you seem to be able to offer me

Foolish of me to believe in your so-called love

I was blinded by the possibility of happiness

Now I can't smile without feeling my wounds ache



It's been years since we've wrote to each other

Even longer since we spoke

Yet I can still hear you say my name

Keith... *cringes*

I hate that name...

Tears still surface in my eyes

I hate you more with every tear

Ruined my damn birthday

Thanks for that by the way

Married the slut on my birthday and named the child Sherry Lynn

Sadistic bastard



I remember the words even now

The tone as I became emotional on the phone

"Don't dramatize like you always do, making me feel like shit."

That fucking statement burns red-hot flames through my veins

With time, I'll learn to forgive you

Yet even when forgiveness comes

I'll have to live with the realization

I let you do this to me...

It's my fault

When The Night Comes
04:15 Sep 04 2005
Times Read: 692

I wake here again alone in the still of the night

Cold sweat of the nightmare plaques my body as I sit up quickly

Willing it all away… just for a moment…

Hearing the branches of the nearest tree blowing in the breeze

The thunder shakes the house and lightening sets the room ablaze

Shadows dancing on the walls surrounding me as the room goes pitch dark



I shake my head violently as I remove the hair out of my wet face

Fighting the memories my mind wishes to torment me with

That first innocent kiss we shared that winter day

Your hands stroking my hair when I cried in your lap

The way your hands always fit mine perfectly

The expected hugs you gave without cease



Many things unfinished... unresolved...haunting both of us

I can't try again... I haven't the strength...

Please don't ask that question again, baby...

I can't stand to see that look on your face

My wounds are just now starting to heal

I just can't go back into battle... not now...



My body shakes, as I smell you so strong…

The taste of you still fresh on my tongue...

I feel your hands on me...caressing me... grabbing me...

My inner thighs ache from the absence of your mouth

Heart breaking as I remember the love you choked with your bare hands

With time, you broke this unbreakable creature...



In the daylight, the pain is manageable

But as the night wraps its cold arms around my dying corpse...

A chill runs down my spine... just the icy touches the darkness offers

Tears never fall...the dead don’t cry… the dying is too weak...

My wounds bleed... dripping down my body in steady streams

Making crimson puddles on my white linen sheet



Here I’ll stay… bleeding in the night…

Until I can muster enough strength to fight for what was once mine