A smell... a touch... anything can trigger a memory...
A person smiles just a certain way or the color of their eyes
Before you know it, you're weeping uncontrolably
Can't help it... can't prevent it from happening again
I thought I heard your laugh today, girl...
Totally caught me off guard
I spun around only to see a stranger's face
Disappointment set in
I've said it a hundred times, but I'll say it one more
I miss you... I love you...
I've never really knew the meaning of missing someone until now
You never left me this long before
No doubt you're having a great time where you are
Or I'm sure I'd get a call to come rescue you
Enjoy it... bathe in the moment...
I hope it last forever
I'm sorry that I've wrote the things that I have in past poems
Just the emptiness that you left me in is earth shattering
Almost unbearable... almost cruel...
I've tried not to show it through my voice when we talk
I miss your hugs the most...
Hugging on me even though it makes me nervous
Holding onto me tight because you know I need it
Knowing I'd never ask... a rock never hugs...
You've seen the good and bad in me...
And I've got to give you props... you didn't run...
You always were jealous of my way with men
But I just wanted a little of your strength...
It's been a hard this year already...
Started out the year with a few deaths
You going through bad break-ups
Me just trying to find a damn direction for my life
I understand that life can be hectic...
But know you can always run back to me
I will be here... with open arms...
Til the end
Well well... look who the cat drug in...
You don't look so good anymore, hun...
Are you sleeping well these days?
The bags under your eyes say different...
Finally filed for sexual misconduct against your foster mother
It's about time you stand up for yourself
God knows I tried, but you won't let me
I guess now you're forced to face the truth alone
You miss me and still love me, huh?
I wish I cared, William... I really do...
Am I single, you ask?
Not like it's your business, but yes I am
I stopped shedding tears over us
I'm passed feeling sorry for myself
And I don't reach out for you in the night
I have better things to focus on
I don't need you to save me... or hide me...
I'm just fine fighting my own battles
I win some... and I loose some...
But I fight them all without YOUR help
You always thought that I'd come crawling back to you
Here's a news flash...
I've never needed you
And I never will...
I have a craving to speak with you tonight
But no number to contact you by
I guess I wasn't worth that information
Having too much fun in paradise, I suppose
We talked about me writing you a letter
What would you want me to say?
I've wrote it a thousand times... over and over...
Threw it away every time...
The things I want to say, I cant...
And the things that I can say, I don't mean...
I want to say that I'm OK without you but I'm not
And I know I should tell you "Good luck" but I wont
Frankly, I'm sick of smiling when you leave...
Acting like everything will be alright
It's NOT OK for you to just leave like you do
It hurts me more than you'll ever know
I gave you everything that I had since childhood
But it never seems enough...
You always find the need to look for more
Why can't you just be satisfied?
I can't save you all the time, girl... and I won't...
You leave me for some random guy...
And when it doesnt work out, you call for me
Am I just that to you? Your taxi?
The sad part is that you won't stop...
At least not until you find someone who'll stay
You are worth so much more...
But you just never saw it...
I've dedicated my whole life to helping you be a better person
Have a better chance at life and all it can offer
Yet you throw it all away on men who don't give a shit about you
Why?
Why settle for less than you deserve?
Why sale yourself so horribly short?
Seems like such a waste...
Such a unnecessary waste
I can see that this will never get easier
Death after death... *sighs* when will it stop?
Never, I suppose...
It will forever chill me to the bone
Even to the grave...
I didn't even know that you were sick, Chad...
Only connected to you by my brother
But I still loved and cared for you
Always ready to joke around and cut up
What else was life for?
You're pieces of my childhood...
And you ARE Jason's.... from start to finish...
He'll hurt for you for a very long time...
Push everyone away in fear of looking weak
God, I am my brother's sister!
Thirty-three years old... *sighs* so young...
So much life to live...
Kids now without a father... a wife without a husband....
In a blink of an eye, she's a widow...
Everything they know will be in past tense
*sheds a tear*
So close to home...
So very close to home...
Don't even try to feed me your bullshit, old man
I'm sick and fuckin tired of the "holier than thou" attitude
Yeah... boast about how everyone at work loves you...
Go ahead, but keep one thing in mind when you do
They don't fucking know you...
And if they did, they'd hate you
I've seen you at your worse...
I was there when you turned your back on your daughter
And embraced your abusive, parasitive son
He's a fucking diease just like you
Just consuming everything and everyone in sight
Well, not anymore... not ever again...
You can put on that famous "My shit dont stink" smile on your face
And play that "Pour me." card all you want
No matter what you do, I'll know it's just bullshit
And one day, you will be revealed for who you really are
When that day comes, I'll kick you when you're down
Cuz I've seen you do it to your daughter for years
Finally, you'll know how it feels to taste your own blood
Your own sweat... and tears...
And when you scream for help, no one will come
I'll laugh as you squrm... trying to escape...
But you won't... cuz I won't let you...
I'll keep pulling you back until you can't stand it anymore
Did you say that was harsh, Mr. Charles?
Since when do you care about harshness?
Didn't think you even knew what it meant...
Cuz no father, who knew, would have done what you have
I can't wait for the icy hand of death to creep up behind you
And slowly choke the life out of you
I know what'll happen... you'll cry for your daughter
And she'll be nowhere to be found...
You'll die alone... and you won't be thought of again...
Because you were only a burden to all who knew you
So tell your lies and make your "friends"...
Cuz they might just be your last
Two months... two fuckin months...
And you still don't trust me to get the job done
Walking around me... wondering what I'm doing at all times
Just fuckin get off my back already!
One minute, you tell me how I'm doing such a great job
And the next, you're huffing and puffing at me
What do you want from me?
I do all that you ask of me... and more...
I talk to endless people with a bug up their asses
I'm paid to deal with them... not you...
Take that large stick out of your ass and treat me with some respect
Doesn't seem like a unreasonable thing to ask
I bend over backwards just to please you
And I still end up getting shit on
Why is that?
That doesn't give me a lot of incentive to give 100%
I'm so ready to just walk away...
So go ahead and give me a reason
I dare ya... fucking double dare you...
Cuz if you think I'll stay, Andy, you're sadly mistaken
Completely different... in every way...
We laugh about nothing... and talk about everything
But at the end, I just cant get myself to fall for you
Friends is all we can ever be...
No job... no destination... nothing...
What can you offer me, Ryan?
I'm headed down a road... might be the wrong one
But at least I'm going in a direction
I've already played the "Everyone take care of me" card
Hell, I practively invented it... *laughs*
I'm passed it... and you're still content in it...
I refuse to go backwards... not now... not ever...
You say that you'll wait for me...
Hun, waiting is what is pushing me away from you
You're waiting for life to hand you something and it won't
Trust me...
So, I'll say this... as blunt as I can... because I care...
Get off your ass... get your life straight...
Then and only then... look me up...
But don't wait too long... unlike you, I won't wait
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