The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Every word that leaves your mouth is about someone else

And rarely fucking nice...

Anyone that knows you would have a heart attack

If you actually spoke nicely about one person besides yourself

You think that you're intimidating, but you're not



I pity you... and the family that must put up with you

The way you treat your family is devastatingly harsh

No wonder your own grandchildren must be dragged to see you

You even have to beg for kisses and hugs

There's no way you can't know how vile you are



You make me fucking sick

Blaming me because your grandkids are human

One does make mistakes... even you...

It's my fault that one cusses and the other sleeps around

It's my influence that some aren't virgins



But lets think about this... shall we?

Who's a fucking virgin???

Me, bitch... I'm a virgin... so how could I coach?

It's complete and utter bullshit that I'm at fault

You have so many fucking kids and they are all screwed up



One son is an asshole to everyone...

The other doesn't have enough balls to stand up to his own wife

One daughter left her family for a man off the Internet... twice...

Another has so many babies’ daddy’s that it's confusing

The other runs and tells you everything



I know you love to run that mouth of yours

So explain something to me...

How is it that you know so much

About a church you haven't been in in years?

I bet you're phone bill is high with the calls you've been making



When I confront you about things...

Open discussion about anything, I say...

You won't speak... I guess you talk better with a phone glued to your ear

Fucking coward... nothing that I hate worse...

Nothing but a spineless bitch



Lonely, isn't it? Do you bitch to the walls?

No one else is there for you to yell at

Does it get cold at night when you're alone?

You complain about no one visiting

Who would want to visit?



Grow some fucking tits and say it to my face

Don't go behind my back and think I won't speak up

Unlike you, I have a back bone...

If I say it to someone, I'll say it to you



If you want to blame anyone for the way people have lived their life

Blame them... or yourself... but me?

Fuckin please... let's grow up...

I'm sick of the games you have to play

And the lies you've already made



How is it your business what I do?

Or have done in my past?

How about you shut your mouth and learn manners?

Leave your old wrinkly nose out of my life from now on

Or you will regret it... I promise



Tell your lies to someone who believes them

And stop with the fake smiles... they are pointless

How do you sleep at night when you're whole family hates you?

Hell, not just family... anyone who knows you...

I just hope you didn't think anyone would come to your funeral



Well, I might, Ms. Betty... just to spit on your grave...

The world's at my finger-tips... I can see it

But I can never seem to be able to reach it...

No matter how hard I try

I'm always so close... yet so far...



I'm spinning my wheels... going nowhere fast

Definitely not happy with where I am or

Hoping that the future brings me some luck

Good fortune wouldn't hurt as well



It's hard to see everyone paired up when I'm alone

Most of the time, I just grit and bare it...

I've gotten used to it actually

What else can I do?



I drank away Valentine's Day with friends...

Still came home and cried as I laid in my bed alone

Best Valentine's by far though...

Pathedic, isn't it?



I don't want a Pity Party... frankly, I'm sick of those

They never work... you always remember more

Plus there's always someone who's got it worse

And that just defys the point of havin the party in the first place



Spinning my wheels... going nowhere...

Wondering if I'll ever get things straight in my life

Maybe I will... maybe I won't...

But until then, the wheels will keep on spinning

Where are you, my dear one...

Do you not care for me anymore?

If so... please just say it...

The wait is slowly taking its toil on me



I never meant to fall for you...

Friends was supposed to be all

Well, there goes that plan out of the window

*sighs*



Here I am... another time... another day...

Wishing you were there to speak to

Even if it would lead to my destruction in the end

I want you to let me love you



Damn...

The walls drip with sadness...

How could you let your home become this?

It's evident that you're not happy

Hell, no one is

Even your children have needs that aren't being met

And that should never fucking happen



The kids should always be above all...

Do you know anything about parenting?

I hate the fact that you've made children

Yet forgotten the responsibility that comes with them

Of course you'd call yourself their parents when it suits you

Like when the hired help does a better job of raising your children than you



Strip her of her duties... take away her power

You're still shitty fucking parents...

I feel for those innocent children that you've made

They desperately want to be close to you

Just need attention from the man and woman who made them

Is that such a hard thing?



You claim the title of Christian, which angers me

Nothing you do backs up your religion

I can see your sharp teeth through the smiles

So save it for someone you can fool

I'd punch you in the face without thought

If I felt you were worth the pain of broken knuckles



It hurts me to see the pain in your little girl's eyes

The little boy cries endless tears when you're not there

So young... but they know what heartache is

The one good thing they've got is this live-in nanny

Who knows to love... you must first set boundaries and rules

Loves them enough to have to walk away



All I had to do was hold your son to see how wonderful he is

Hold him... touch him... I fuckin dare you...

Feel his arms wrap tightly around you

Just needing to feel safe

And then tell me that you don't love them

I know you do... just wish you'd act like it



Just cut your bullshit... I'm so sick of it

You think that I don't know what you're doing...

I hate to tell you this, but I feel like I must

YOU'RE NOT AS SMART AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!

You're a good actor... but not that good

I know more about you than you probably want me to



I dread the day that I'll have to walk away with her

Because I wasn't able to save them

That little girl and boy who I fell in love with

Knowing that I'll never hold him again...

Or have a conversation with her will rip at me

But I'll say a prayer as I walk away and cry myself to sleep several nights after

3:37 a.m. on Valentine's Day

Can't sleep... wish I could though...

My books not satisfying so I put it away

Movies are only making me sad...

One happy ending after another



Going out with my single friends tonight to drink

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to it

When I drink, I usually get depressed

Because sooner or later the money runs out

And that means the drinks stop



I keep smelling a fragrance that I don't recongnize

But it makes me smile... and my nose tickle

Strong and woodsie... mascline in its simplest form

I've been going in circles trying to find out where it's coming from

But cant...



Humming a tone that has no words...

But I hum it anyways... adding my own...

Dancing around at the chorus

It's a phrase that sounds funny...

But it came to be so naturally



I wonder if someone could actually do that...

Miss someone that they've never met

*ponders then laughs* Oh yeah, I'm loosing it

Or am I?

I guess I'll find out soon enough

I remember the first time I saw you

You peeked your little soft face around Jen's leg

Scared of this stranger who walked into the house without your permission

Those blue eyes drew me in...

I was a goner before I even could fight it



The curves of your face softened when I became nervous

Children were never my strong point

You even laughed at me even I fumbled for a toy

I accidently sat on it because I couldn't stop watching you

The little boy with a bright glow around him



I almost cried when you held up your arms to me

Asking me to pick you up for the first time

The ulimate action of approval

I grabbed you up... and you smiled at me...

Content in my arms... and I in yours



I seriously thought that I didn't have motherly instints

Most of the time, I forget a coat in the winter

Or sun screen in the summer...

Hell, I even tend to pick up a hot pan bare handed

I also was scared to death of having my own children



But when you bumped your head on the car door

I rushed to you... rubbing your head

Of course, by then, you were back to playing

And looked at me as if to ask "What's wrong?"

*shakes head with a smile* Boys...



I found bits and pieces of myself in your arms, little one

Things that I thought I'd never feel, I felt in your presence

Now children are definitely a must...

Especially when I see your sleeping body...

I know I could do that for the rest of my life...

Seems like death is a common thing these days

I hear of one... then another...

Never getting to finish grieving for one loved one

Going from one funeral to the next

Never-ending circle of death



Last month it was a young man who wasn't ready to die

Today it's a 70 yr old woman who waited for death to visit

Didn't hear about this one until over a week after

Families' got too much on the brain, I guess

Understandable



But I can't help but feel robbed...

Robbed of having the chance to say my goodbyes

Did I want to see her in a cold box?

Of course not... who would want to?

But it would at least allow me to look at her while I said goodbye



She was one of few who believed in me

Told me that I could be anything in the world

Beautiful... loving... intellegent... sweet...

That's just a few things she called me

She always did have a way with words



She's one of the few that actually lives what she believes

Grew up a Lutheran... died a Baptist

She'd smile even when it seemed like God himself turned his back on her

One thing that I never could do

Looking up to her was always a easy



Never heard a mean word from her...

Loved Rachel so much

Believed that she could overcome all and soar

Was mom's door knocking partner

They were almost like sisters... joined at the hip



Cried tear after tear after daddy passed away

Still held her head high no matter what

Even when she had to remove both breast

She still walked tall... fighting cancer all the way

Reading Bible verses when pain started to get unbearable



She married before she was saved...

Her husband hated her for embracing an religion

Believing with all of her heart that love conquered all

She stayed with him... throughout the abuse and torment

Took care of him even after the cancer set in



Never saw cancer as a weakness...

But a way to give more to the god she loved

I'm gonna miss her a lot... *cries*

She believed in me... and that alone means the world

I love you, Mrs. Dixie... give daddy a hug for me



Rest in peace, dear one...

God knows how much you deserve it