The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

from my kids mother on what happened in the tornado
16:33 Apr 30 2008
Times Read: 1,087






Learned a good lesson yesterday. on april 28, 2008. at 4:09pm, one of three tornadoes touchdown in Suffolk. I had heard a warning but did not pay attention. Picked up my daughter from the school bus, dropped off my son art the YMCA and headed to Sal's pizza. I was watching Brandon at the time and Cris had painted his face like Spider-man. We were so excited to get to the pizza shop and show Peter his face. The power went off and this lady with her daughter run in and tell us its coming. What's coming? Everything happened so fast. I grabbed Brandon and mia , who were sitting in the first booth enjoying thier pink lemonade and we started running to the back of the store. I never had time to open the door to one of the bathrooms. I pressed Mia and Brandon aginst the door and covered them as best I could. I felt all this pressure on me. In thought Pete wast rying to push me in the bathroom. the door gave and all I could see is sunlight on the other side. I moved and turned to see Pete and everything on top of him, he was holding it up over us. Brandon, Mia ,and myself were not hurt thanks to him. His body is a little beat up, ya know walls and ceilings falling down , he wasn't prepared that day. LOL. He was undercover as pizza man while his other outfit was being cleaned.

I ran to the YMCA to get my son and brought him back to us . We were all together and able to walk away from this amazing natural disaster.



We are all eternally gratefull

made by a friend
21:28 Apr 29 2008
Times Read: 1,024

I can't believe I am still alive
16:49 Apr 29 2008
Times Read: 1,051

yesterday I started a new job, working in sal's pizza in down town suffolk at 4:05 a tornado hit,

my kids mother came to drop of my son because I was getting of of work so I can drive him home.

then a lady ran in saying it's coming run.

as soon as she said that the windows blow out the shop shook evelyn grabed the kids and pushed them against the wall in the back of the shop I saw the owners father fall so i grabed him and puched him up against evelyn and the kids and tried to cover them all the walls came down on me i tried so hard to hold up the walls. the roof came down ontop of me all I was thinking was I can not let my arms and back give but the weight was so much, my arms started to give something hit me in the back and it almost brought me to my knees but I just kept saying for my kids I have to hold this up. then just like it came it was gone. I heard screams coming from evrywere. my lil girl was screaming mami daddy. I pushed the wall and ceiling off of us, I told evelyn to get the kidds out I picked the old man up and helped him outside.

I heard my co-worker cry out for help but could not see so I strated to pull shit off of her and carryed her outside then some girl was trapped in the bathroom so I broke through the wall to get to her and pulled her outside, then there was some girl screaming bleeding from her legs so I ran to were she was and more of the roof came down ontop of me so i just pushed it off and got to her ans carried her outside to ems

when I got the chance to look at the shop from outside I can't believe I am still alive.

I have a hole in back about the same size as a dime. black and blues all up my back. some cuts on my head and arms. my kidds are safe but I will never forget this shit as long as I live.

Mother night kept me and my family safe she saved us by giving me the strength to hold up all that weight. on bened knees I thank you Mother night.







right above the firemans head in were I was.

hotness done by Queenmorbid
17:50 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 1,103

PRIVATE ENTRY
15:34 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 1,108


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
14:12 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 1,112


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

Lost
02:03 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 1,136

I'm sorry that you keep blaming me for those things I do not do.

It's just that I'm a man who can't stand what you put me through.

Still it seems that I keep wanting you to love me for those things I cannot say

Still its not okay if you go walk away

I'm not right without you so i say..



I'm lost without you here in my arms

It's true what they say you don't know if you truly love someone til they are gone

Don't tell me you didnt belong cus i had a place for you in my heart

And no one can replace it

You were so wonderful that i gave it my all from the start

So i need you in my arms



Tell me what did you see happening for this to last so long?

When we met we were set for a life full of love

Despite all of our flaws

Still I can say I forgave you for causing all of my pain

I don't know what I did that was so wrong to you

That you just walked away.



I'm lost without you here in my arms

It's true what they say you don't know if you truly love someone til they are gone

Don't tell me you didnt belong cus i had a place for you in my heart

And no one can replace it

You were so wonderful that i gave it my all from the start

So i need you in my arms



What can I do to make you come back to me

I'm trying hard to be what you've always wanted from me

I'd change my stars, my world, my life, my all, my everything

If you'll just stay right here, we both won't be lonely



You were so wonderful that i gave it my all

I'm lost without you here in my arms

It's true what they say you don't know if you truly love someone til they are gone

It's time to let go.
01:34 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 1,141

Are you with him or all alone tonight.

Are you falling in love by candlelight.

No I, I don't wanna know.

It's time to let go.

And baby all those times I've cried alone.

Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.

No I, don't want this to show.

It's time to let go.



Watching the heavens, from a window where I sit.

But I'm alone this time.

Missing the sound of your laughter inside my heart.

So I'll just close my eyes.

And I never thought it would end like this.

I miss the sweetness of your kiss.

Now someone else is slowly taking my place.

I think about it everyday.



Are you with him or all alone tonight.

Are you falling in love by candlelight.

No I, I don't wanna know.

It's time to let go.

And baby all those times I've cried alone.

Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.

No I, don't want this to show.

It's time to let go.



Now I think about all the times we shared together.

All of the good and bad.

No, I told you I'm sorry.

And I'm the one who cheated.

But I can't keep blaming myself (oh no.)

Cause every part of me is feeling this.

I can't escape my loneliness.

But I've got to find the strength to say it's okay.

I know this pain will go away.



Are you with him or all alone tonight.

Are you falling in love by candlelight.

No I, I don't wanna know.

It's time to let go.

And baby all those times I've cried alone.

Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.

No I, don't want this to show.

It's time to let go.



When I wore my heart up on my sleeve.

Were you frightend by my honesty.

And maybe that's what made you leave.

Doesn't matter now, baby I'll be fine.



Are you with him or all alone tonight.

Are you falling in love by candlelight.

No I, I don't wanna know.

It's time to let go.

And baby all those times I've cried alone.

Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.

No I, don't want this to show.

It's time to let go.

My Fav. songs By Frankie J
21:16 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 1,159


Frankie J-Pensando en ti



Frankie J - How To Deal





Frankie J-more than words





frankie J - obsession



This is what been going on with Janice

Still

PRIVATE ENTRY
13:37 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 1,167


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

MBK
16:47 Apr 22 2008
Times Read: 1,199

dude you are such a child! You rate some one a 1 with a comment like this. I can't believe Cancer has some one like you on his staff.

You really need to grow up, and your profile is not better then theirs. I hope you have a Blessed day.











Nah. But like your friend yoniCedicant who has a shitty profile also, I'm rating you a one.



No offense, but compared to mine, both yours suck. ;]





MBK

07:43:01

Apr 21 2008

| Block |

20:20 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,217

Just lose control
15:37 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,224

Let's lose control

on this cold night

Let's close our eyes

and turn off the light



Let's hold each other

Please whisper in my ear

Tell me all the sweet things

that I want to hear



Make me want you

just like you always do

Then touch me in those places

you know I'll be wanting you to



Just feel the rush

and kiss my lips

Caress my face

I'll hold tightly to your hips



Do things to me you never did before

we can start on the bed then fall to the floor

I want to do what you thought of in your dreams

Make your desires become reality

'cause in this room nothing is as it seems



And if the walls could talk

than they would tell with heart and soul

about how you and I

sometimes just lose control



By Ryu with some help by Alye

Heaven is missing an Angel
15:15 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,230

I hope the man upstairs isn't mad at me

Cause I have one of his angel's and she's here with me

Each time I see her precious smile and she spreads her wings

It takes me to a place where love

Meets eternity



I'm not letting go

I don't wanna be alone

In this crazy world

Oh Lord

I love her so

And I'll sacrifice it all to have her in my life

I found my girl

I'll tell the world

That heaven is missing an angel

My dream came true

When I found you

Yes, heaven is missing an angel

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for you

He blessed me with my angel

Though I don't deserve you

Before I met you girl, lonely was my best friend

Now that you are in my life

I am stronger within

I can't wait to kiss my angel late at night

And watch her go to sleep until I see her rise



All that I do is for you

Me without you M'Lady just won't do

Your love's all I wanna know

Angel don't you ever go

Life won't be the same without you.

Oh Lord

I love her so

I don't wanna be alone in this crazy world

And oh no

I'm not letting go

I'll sacrifice everything

Don't take her away

For my Queen
15:33 Apr 19 2008
Times Read: 1,266

Daddy's Little Girl
12:42 Apr 19 2008
Times Read: 1,278




Daddy's Little Girl



No matter how many years pass by

Daddy's little girl you always will be

My daughter my angel the apple of my eye

You're the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me



It's been years since I cradled you

Rocked you in my arms till you fell asleep

Those years flew by, as happy ones do,

most sad I knew,

But I have all these memories to keep.



Discovering the world eyes wide with wonder

Every day you made me more proud

Calling out to me when wakened by thunder

'Daddy come here' you'd cry out loud



I'd sit beside you to calm your fears

Waiting till you fell asleep again

My eyes were damp with happiness tears

I haven't felt that way since then



As you grew so did my pride

My daughter so beautiful so bright

Nothing could match the love inside

That I felt for you my angel my light



Then you grew up as young girls do

And the boys began to take notice

Not one did I think was good enough for you

But I knew you'd soon receive your first kiss



Daddy's little girls become a young woman

And there's nothing a daddy can do

Except pray when it comes to men

That the right one comes your way.



I fear the day to walk down the aisle

With me beside you to give you away

I'm losing my baby but I keep on a smile

Not to cast a shadow on your special day



For of all the riches a man can see

A diamond a ruby a pearl

My daughter is most precious to me

And will be for all eternity Daddys little girl!





I Love You C.J.

Happy Birthday.

yeah baby still the man
23:50 Apr 18 2008
Times Read: 1,298


This weeks Poetry contest winner and poem are listed below, Please take time to read it, and stop by to congratulate them





LordOfNoctemAeternus





THE TRUTH



We walk in the night, banded from the light of day. Or so they say. You've been told that we don't exsist. But the truth be told, that is a myth. You all think that it's great that we never die, but all that shit is a lie. everything comes to an end. So the truth is there are no immortals. The only thing we can say is our soul is dark and we need to feed.

The only thing we crave is the Sweet taste of blood. My heart is dark and my soul is cold, lonely, damned.

I stand before you saying, that yes there is such things as vampyres. And the one thing that cause our body to be on fire, is blood. And you're the ones that hold our desire.

7 Deadly sins
14:41 Apr 18 2008
Times Read: 1,303

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very High
Pride:	High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

I can't love you
14:21 Apr 18 2008
Times Read: 1,306

Age of six

He loved her so

And everyday

He'd let her know



"I love you Terri"

He'd say each day

She'd just laugh

And run away



Till one day

She turned around

And sat with him

On the playground



"I'm sorry Pete

I don't love you

You'll find someone else

Who loves you too"



High school came

They met again

They laughed about

The things back then



They began to date

And fell in love

He got the girl

That he'd dreamed of



But when college came

Everything changed

They were far apart

With lives rearranged



"We'll be fine Terri"

But she had doubt

She turned and said

"It won't work out"



"I'm sorry Pete

I can't love you

You'll find someone else

Who loves you too"



In their twenties

They met again

They laughed about

The things back then



He took her hand

They began to dance

Remembering

Their old romance



Two years later

She became his wife

They'd be together

All of their life



They went on a drive

When it was no longer light

They drove down the roads

Of the starry night



The music came on

She started to sing

He whispered, "Terri

You're my everything"



But then suddenly

In one big flash

Headlights shone

As their car crashed



He saw her laying

Down on the ground

He felt his tears

Start rolling down



"Terri..." he cried

She took his hand

"I have to leave...

Please understand"



"I love you so much

It's always been true

But you'll find someone else

And you'll love again too"



"No," he cried

"It's always been you

I don't want someone else

I only want you"



And there on that street

Is where he cried

Hugging his love

As she slowly died

lonely distance
14:02 Apr 18 2008
Times Read: 1,306

I'm sitting. staring at the computer screen as memories of you and me rip through my mind.



I miss you, your touch, your kiss.

I have memories...old memories



I want to be yours until our forever is at its end

But you're so far away and I feel so lonely



The distance is a pain to my heart and mind.

Nothing seems the same with so far apart.



I want to feel loved...I know you love me but I want to feel safe in the warmth of your arms.



I know you're trying to make things work

I'm just saying...it takes a little getting use to the lonely distance.

PRIVATE ENTRY
20:02 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 1,335


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
19:53 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 1,337


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
19:35 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 1,342


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

the key
19:30 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 1,343

I had closed the door upon, my heart

and i could not let anyone in, i had

trusted and loved only to be hurt but

that would never happen again. i had

locked the other door and tossed the

key as hard and as far as i could

love would never enter there again.

my heart was closed for good. then you

came into my life, and made me change

my mind, just when i thought that

the key was impossible to find.

thats when you held out your hand

and proved to me, i was wrong

inside your palm was the key

you had it all along!!!

I cannot be heard
19:17 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 1,344

They look in my direction

But they don't see a thing...

They're blinded to the endless tears

That the night seems to bring.



My days are just as empty

Still a nightmare to me...

my waking moments spent with everyone

With happiness I fake



And there's so much I'd die to say

But fail to find the words

I'm screaming on the inside...

Yet I cannot be heard

My vows to you my queen
09:49 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 1,375

I promise you my queen I'll love you

and with you forever I'll stay

I'll do anything and everything

To keep harm to you away



I promise you my queen I can give you hugs

That only I can give

I'll honor and protect you

As long as I shall live



I promise you my queen I'll give you kisses

So sweet forever you'll taste

I'll kiss you until tomorrows here

No kisses for you to waste



I promise you my queen I'll be here with you

Like I know you'll be there for me

I'll bring happiness to your eyes

Love deeper than the sea



I promise you my queen I'll never hurt you

forever have no fears

I'll give up everything

To see you cry only happy tears



I promise you my queen you can trust me

I'll give you the world and more

I'll be your fairytale suitor

You shall be my Cinderella girl



I promise you my queen I'll treat you

As every women should be

My beautiful royal queen

Show you off for everyone to see



I promise you my queen

you and I shall be for all eternity!

some new pics of this bad ass motherfucker
00:42 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 1,386

Rudeness is so unbecoming of a house or coven master
22:00 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 1,390

From:

Profile for LordOfNoctemAeternus

LordOfNoctemAeternus



08:54:28

Apr 16 2008



Delete



Delete

To Saved



Email to Self

Message To: Mieta1



one it is she belongs to my house a real house I did not come at you side ways nor did I disrespect you, your lack of respect shows who you really are! thus we have nothing more to spake of until you learn how to speak!



On 20:50:59 Apr 15 2008 (-0 GMT) Mieta1 wrote:



Thats really none of your business.



On 20:49:22 Apr 15 2008 (-0 GMT) LordOfNoctemAeternus wrote:



Ave if I may has yoniCedicant disrespected you in some way? she says you hate her and wishes to know why

THE TRUTH
21:11 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 1,405

We walk in the night, banded from the light of day. Or so they say. You've been told that we don't exsist. But the truth be told, that is a myth. You all think that it's great that we never die, but all that shit is a lie. everything comes to an end. So the truth is there are no immortals. The only thing we can say is our soul is dark and we need to feed.

The only thing we crave is the Sweet taste of blood. My heart is dark and my soul is cold, lonely, damned.

I stand before you saying, that yes there is such things as vampyres. And the one thing that cause our body to be on fire, is blood. And you're the ones that hold our desire.

for my sister Liana
11:37 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,425








They try and keep you down

But they don't know, they don't know your dreams

The pride that leaps you get through the day

Something a nickel or a dime cant take away



understand love for what it is, and keep it universal



Yes I know

That you hate what you are

But don't you know

The promised lands not that far

Yes I know

Your pride has gone away

But theres always another day

So I say



Hey sister

I'm never gonna let you down

Ill help you turn it all around

You can count on me

Hey sister

I'm here because I understand

Ill always treat you like a woman

You can count on me

You can count on me



Don't let them keep you down

Ya gotta try, as hard as it may seem

A victim of a world thats lost its mind

Still the same, your just like me



they say love is eternal, but I bet its longer than that

Mother Night
11:31 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,426

Mother Night now my day is through

So I take the time to talk to you

Cause theres so many questions on my mind

I need to know that when I die

Ill be with you among the sky

Where I can see all beauty through your eyes



All my life Ive been around

A thoughtless world trying to bring me down

But you held my hand and promised me a better day.

I try and give what you gave to me

A soul that lives through eternity

But they ignore my cries and they turn away



Mother Night, will the pain subside?

Or is it all a waste of time

I think I know the answer

From the years of tears you've cried

Though I tried so hard to cure

For a disillusioned world I'm scared.

Cause I see the disappointment in your eyes.



Mother Night, is there a remedy

To cure this world of misery

And give our children something to look forward to?

And if I could I'd gladly give

I'd give my life so they could live

Away from all the sorrow like I wanted to.



So I fold my hands and pray

For those who've threw our world away

Its so hard to see a future

When we destroy it everyday.

Mother Night, I try so hard to cure

For a disillusioned world I'm so scared

Cause I can see the disappointment in your eyes



Mother Night, now I say goodbye

And I promise you that I will try

To make the world a better place to live again

And if I die would you please promise me

You'll save a place in eternity

Sitting by your side, amen.

perfect you
11:22 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,427

The epitome of beauty

An idea that soaks my soul

Your aura does consume me

And throws my mello out of control



Ive waited all this life

To capture me a glimpse of the living end

You never say a word

So I replay my memory

Time and time again



I don't want to live another day

And make believe that every things okay

Wheres the good that left and went away

The perfect you, the perfect you, perfect you



A thought so very lovely

But a painful sight to see

Ya always let me down

But I cant seem to let it be



I long to see your smile

Since its been gone this rhythm has no rhyme

You never say a word

Can I keep my soul, if I lose my mind

I lose myself in you
11:16 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,430

Take me to your soul

Lose me in your smile

Baby I don't care just as long as I get there

No need for cliches

Or silly masquerades

I'm drifting endlessly, drifting closer to you



For so long I live in darkness

I was looking for my light

You surround my heart with your love

Your aura shining bright

You keep the sun alive eternally

And you keep me from the night



Don't you know Ill do

What you want me to

Open up your soul and let me get close to you

I just wanna say

You take my breath away

Ill do what you want me to, Ill get lost in you



Your the only road

To my happiness

Hold me tightly in your arms caress me in your dreams

My love will find a way

To your emptiness

Singing tenderly to your emotions



So close but yet so far my imaginations

Running away with me

And it takes me to a place where

Your the only one I see

But when I awake all I have

Is pain and misery

free from humanity
11:10 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,431

I know some just cant understand

Its not about the downfall of man

Lets drift safely on a journey to forget the past

Where happy people cry with me

And those full of life will die with me

Our final destination is peace at last



And I wonder how it would be

If my heart were free from humanity

Lord, I always dreamed it would be

Bliss eternally

If my heart were free from humanity



Constant wishing for some space

So I can dream of a place

Where theres a happy ever after for me and you

And I still hope that day will come, where well be the

Brilliant ones

And realize true beauty comes internally

I can hear me now
10:56 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,435

I can hear me now

Telling me its my life

I can hear me now

Telling me Im okay at least until the sun comes up

I can hear me now

Talking to all my tears

I can hear me now

Telling me to stay away but begging me not to go far



Theres nothing wrong with your life

Yes Im putting all the squares in the circles

Freedoms only grieving for you now

Cause Im not wasting no more lifetimes screaming at me



I can see me now

Kissing and pouring me a bath.

I can hear me now

Telling me Im alright

Even when I break my heart.

No, theres nothing wrong with this life.

You can put all your worlds on circle.

I can never kiss me goodbye.

Cause Ill be spending my whole lifetime ...

Screaming at me.



Flesh only matters in life

You cant believe your whole worlds on this circle very low.

Spirits are bleeding from my mind

Cause Im just wasting all my lifetimes...

Constantly wasting all my lifetimes

Im just so tired of wasting all my lifetimes...

Screaming at me.

When midnight sighs
09:29 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,439








If and betting on an if, and if that if might have a chance to survive.

It runs in to twelve different ways of existing each with capacity to change its mind.

The vibe says six, so be six, now it has a clone. that is a bit more feminine.

Pondering the paces of whats going down....life. and the greeting is, oh..its you again.

Now come the images so many images. the painful colors and the bliss like tries.

Im taking notes till the end of theatrics, then it stops, ends, dies....

Whatever is whatever, it calculates the karma.

And tries to adjust as it inquires whats shaking.

But through no eyes, I could see the entity....crying.





I cry, when midnight sighs, I cry, when midnight sighs.



Lets pretend its true, no, facade. the vibe says seven, do I look surprised? no.

You, youre so disturbing. anxious tears do these paint my eyes...oh.

The mysterious fee no one sees. and no one tries. whenever tangeble,

Ill fall out of love. but for now my mind isnt mine....sporadic advice, never thinks twice,

But exotic thoughts conclude thgis frenzy. pay no no attention to the scars.

However bright all the men see is precious you. immaculate trues, patient lies say,

Prince your flying, yeah. but through no thoughts, I could see this concept crying.







When midnight sighs, if about to be me its. so the vibe say five.

I put on hooves horns and an attitude. and nochalantly find Im alive.. twelve am

I understand. I find the eight, too late, its gone. but I could see this woman crying

Cussing, crying, and carrying on...my god....

I want you to love me more
09:26 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,440

When you run away with someone

To the corners of your mind

Be it time or place or space of love.

I think you know, I think you know....

Whatever magnifies you.

My heart wont let it go so,

Whatever the barriers,

Whatever the forces are.

I know that they don't matter,

But they do...and thats why....





I find it so hard for me to tell you

I want you to love me more

I find it so hard for me to tell you

I want you to love me more

I find it so hard for me to tell you

I want you to love me more

I find it so hard for me to tell you

I want you......to love me more



If you could see what I see

When I rest my eyes on you.

Be it people words or anything

I think they know, I think they know...

If its you its you and only you

cause my emotions run my life.

So, wherever the rainbows go,

Wherever the teardrops are

I bet they feel the love I get from you

And thats why...



Its funny you should say

I dream you all this time

cause all the time, I think I do...

Its funny you should say

You see the love. I push to your heart...

I sure hope its in your nature

To love me more....to love me more...

To love me more...to love me more

just some shit in my mind
09:13 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,444

Whatever it is I do, I try to think about you.

I have a love for you that nothing hides.

Whatever it is I do, I'm always thinking of you.

I hope you look at me through patient eyes.

Ive become amused. Ive become blind.

Ive become what I know not breathes.

You seem illiterate to all my emotions.

I stand corrected, how well you read.

You speak the truth, you speak the me.

You fell the love I have yet to find.

I know its there, I know its there.

But I let the sandcastles kill my mind.

Pathetic me, I long to be you.

They think I'm close but I stand so far.

The turbulent one sheds a turbulent tear.

I'm Vampyre only cause they starve.

Oil and water, lust and sympathy.

Ill live and die through the sun.

Where originates all the pain that leaves.

My memory a traumatic sponge and sings to you.



Well define my love and attitude.

Open up your mind and it will sing to you.

You can always tell.

But I know remorse so well.

I left reality early due to the lack of love... reason.



The channel, a professional liar.

How I long to contradict those vibes.

Joni help me, I think I'm falling.

Its not the love and I quest the why.



I have yet to conquer my behavior

In my reaction to the helpless veil.

The great addiction to possess what is'nt.

Floating ships that refuse to sail.

As mercy's love to the featherless pigeon.

Searching through life through the blurriest vission.

As mercy's love to the heartless hand.

Its candid rights as if the wrong understand.





I don't know, if I'm right,

But if I'm wrong then show me I'm wrong.

The fear of pity is always awake.

But infinite sympathy completely gone.

Its the windows, the doors, the passageway to the truth.

Oh my god, it echoes the mind.

In total recall as wild as the deuce.

Its so deceiving is the clouded heart.

So superficial is the open wound.

I caress the infinite Darkness.

That even at night.

Overshadows the moon and sings to you.



Well, define my love, that lives with you.

Even when I die, it will still sing to you.

You can always tell if remorse has done you well...

The misconstrued my answers due to the lack of love...

I'd die without you
07:22 Apr 08 2008
Times Read: 1,456










Is it my turn to wish you were lying here.

I tend to dream you when I'm not sleeping.

Is it my turn to fictionalize my world.

Or even imagine your emotions. tell myself anything...

Is it my turn to hold you by the hands.

Tell you I love you and you not hear me...

Is it my turn to totally understand.

To watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing...





If Ive to give away...

The feeling that I feel.

If Ive to sacrifice...

Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.

If Ive to take apart...

All that I am...

Is there anything that I would not do,

cause inside Id die without you...



Oh, I apologize for all the things Ive done.

But now I'm underwater and I'm drowning...

Is it my turn to be the one to cry.

Isn't it amazing how some things just completely turn around...

So take every little piece of my heart...

So take every little piece of my soul...

So take every little piece of my mind...

cause if your gone... inside...

Id die without you...

my boy jakes part in a flick
03:59 Apr 04 2008
Times Read: 1,475

PRIVATE ENTRY
00:15 Apr 04 2008
Times Read: 1,478


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

my baby found this on me from back in the days of Gang life
20:26 Apr 03 2008
Times Read: 1,482

Mayor Moves To Stanch Gang Violence





By NORIMITSU ONISHI

Published: October 9, 1997



Responding to what he called an outbreak of gang-related violence in schools and on the streets, Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani said yesterday that he would expand special police efforts against gangs and seek tougher state laws against them.



Mr. Giuliani and Police Commissioner Howard Safir said it was impossible to measure the growth in gang activity precisely. But the Mayor, whose campaign for a second term has heavily emphasized the city's steep drop in crime, said he wanted to ''nip in the bud'' a problem that has garnered increasing attention and news coverage just weeks before the election.



''There's a problem that's emerging here,'' Mr. Giuliani said. ''It's not at the level of the problem in Los Angeles or elsewhere, not anywhere near that. But it's a problem that we might as well deal with now at this stage. This is precisely what should have been done in the 1920's with the Mafia.''



Between July and September, the police made 702 arrests in incidents directly related to street gangs, the Mayor said. After a news conference yesterday in which the Mayor announced the new measures, Commissioner Safir said that the police had begun keeping track of such arrests only this year, and thus lacked comparable figures for the same period last year.



In recent weeks there have been a series of attacks, particularly random slashings of passers-by, that some officials have linked to initiation rites for the Bloods, the street gang based in Los Angeles that is making inroads in New York. Three such attacks were reported this week, two in Harlem and one on the Upper West Side. Last night, a 12-year-old boy was charged in the West Side attack.



In another highly publicized case this week, a 13-year-old girl attending Martin Luther King Jr. High School in Manhattan said she had been forced to perform oral sex on four boys by a 15-year-old girl who claimed to be a member of the Bloods.



Amid the fear and publicity, however, law-enforcement officials and other criminal-justice experts said it was hard to know how many attacks were really linked to organized gangs involved in drug dealing and other criminal activity, and how many were the work of hangers-on or copycats.



''A lot of these people who claim to be Blood members really are wannabe's,'' Commissioner Safir said. ''So we really don't know for sure what the scope of the problem is.''



Still, officials say they are concerned about the possible spread of gang activities, particularly in schools. The Mayor's announcement came a day after Edward F. Stancik, Special Commissioner of Investigations for the city schools, called for a ''uniform anti-gang program'' to deal with gang activities in schools. Mr. Stancik recounted the case of a school safety officer whom the Board of Education is trying to dismiss after learning he belonged to the Latin Kings gang, and he said his office had compiled a list of 200 gang-related crimes since it began tracking them 18 months ago.



In his speech, after an awards ceremony at the midtown Manhattan headquarters of HIP, the health maintenance organization, the Mayor said that about 200 officers would be assigned to units to investigate and move against gangs, and that officers would lead anti-gang efforts at 40 schools, up from the current 20. He said he would urge state lawmakers to pass anti-gang laws, making it illegal to recruit members and to participate in gang activities, as well as for minors to own box cutters, a common weapon of gang members. Also, he said he would press the New York State Parole Board to forbid all parolees known to be gang members to associate with other members.



The announcement was the Mayor's second recent law-enforcement initiative. Last week, he outlined a plan to make the reducing of drug use a priority in his second term.



But Ruth W. Messinger and other Democrats said his anti-gang measures were merely intended to deflect the recent bad news.



''It shouldn't have taken terrible incidents and grisly headlines to get the Mayor to act,'' Ms. Messinger said yesterday in a statement.



She accused the Mayor of cutting money for after-school programs, and added, ''I've maintained consistently that if you give kids alternatives to crime and a way to avoid young criminals, all kids can be safe and out of harm's way.''



But Thomas A. Reppetto, president of the Citizens Crime Commission of New York City, a private group, praised the Mayor's strategies. He said that in the 1980's drug gangs dealing in crack gained strength largely because they had been ignored in their early years.



''The lesson we learned is that you move quickly when these gangs appear,'' he said. ''The Mayor's initiatives are certainly a start.''



Over the last three years, law enforcement officials across the city have devoted more resources to fighting rising gang activity, including setting up units to scrutinize graffiti, which is believed to yield clues to gang presence and battles.



''It's fair to say that within the last couple of years we have seen a proliferation of these gangs,'' said Richard A. Brown, the Queens District Attorney.



Mariela Palomino-Stanton, head of the Queens District Attorney's bias and youth gang bureau, said that until four years ago the gangs active in the borough were loosely knit groups of teen-agers. But recently, she said, more structured gangs, like the Latin Kings, Netas and la Familia, had made inroads into Queens, and their members were typically older and more violent.



Ryu Morales, 22, who identified himself as the leader of about 60 members of the Netas gang in Woodhaven, Queens, said increasing pressure from crews of Bloods had swelled the ranks of Netas in Woodhaven and caused more of them to carry weapons.



''The kids are joining just for protection,'' he said, speaking on a street corner near Franklin K. Lane High School. ''And everybody carries a box cutter or something to keep from getting hurt.''



Investigators said there is always more gang-related violence at the start of a school year as gang members from different sections of town are thrown together.

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