An old lady dies and goes to Heaven. She's chatting it
up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a
sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling
screams.
Don't worry about that" says St. Peter "It's only
someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades
for wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries
on with the conversation.
Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling
screams.
"Oh my God" says the old lady "now what is happening?"
"Not to worry" says St. Peter, "She's just having her
head drilled to fit the halo."
"I can't do this" says the old lady, "I'm going to
Hell."
"You can't go there" says St. Peter. "You'll be raped
and taken advantage of."
"Maybe so" says the old lady, but I've already got the
holes for that."
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Your Dosha is Kapha |
![]() Calm and grounded, you are not prone to mood swings or anger. However, once you do get angry, it takes a lot to cool you down. You tend to think a little slower than most people, but your logic is astounding. Overall, you very loyal and trustworthy. You're not scared of being who you really are. With friends: You enjoy their company, but often listen more than talk In love: You crave connection and affection. It's hard for you to be single. To achieve more balance: Exercise vigorously (especially in the sun) and let go of attachments. |
Your Deadly Sins |
![]() Envy: 20% Gluttony: 20% Greed: 20% Pride: 20% Sloth: 20% Lust: 0% Wrath: 0% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14% You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic. |
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