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What am I to do

it's all my fault

now I've turn my back on you

and I've filled your wounds with salt

I left you there sitting and crying

what have I become

now on the inside,it fells like I'm dying

what have I done

I've spit in you face as you cried

it's something I regret

now you've commited suicide

and my life is now in debt

what's more important me or what you do

because you've left me here crying

now I can't even look at you

on the inside it feel like I'm dying

ever since your new occupation

you've yelled saying leave me be

now I suffer from this depression

but all you do is ignore me

I can't deal with all this pain

I'm wishing I would die

now I'm starting to go insane

and all I can do is cry

my heart has turned vile

but you never seem to reply

all you do is sit and smile

up untill I die

this rose of thorns,piercing my heart

revealing the blackness that is my soul

when every petal falls apart

is another one who's lost control

this rose of black and petals so wide

revealing endless gloom

this rose leads others to suicide

showing them unmistakable doom

this rose of darkness,this rose of pain

there's nothing you can do

this rose of hatred,drives us insane

this rose of blackness is you

Why can't I stop crying

in the inside,it feels like I'm dying

darkness fills me,I am blind

I'm hearing voices in my mind

but I await sad and alone

I keep calling but no one answers the phone

I don't know what's happening to me

everyday seems full of trajedy

I'm still crying with my last breath

praying for my time of death

I keep calling myself a discrace

as tears are running down my face

I don't know what's left,there's nothing I can do

now I'm killing myself just to get away from you

for all of these years I've acted brave

I want your name carved on my grave

I will die alone but not for long

I'm going to test how much you are strong

next to my grave I've left a gun

hold it in your hands and have some fun

or why don't you play a game like you've done with my life

you can spin the barrel or spin a knife

point the gun to your head

pull the trigger,be alive or dead

I can't wait anymore to see that bullet dig through your bone

and have your blood splatter on my gravestone

pull it,god damn it,don't sit and cry

make your decision,live or die

I awoke in this place

and all I want is a little space

soon everyone's in my face

now I feel like a discrace

I was put in here to be controlled

but I'm not a slave and won't be sold

I want to break out and be set free

I'm sick of these bastards spitting on me

I'm going to escape without a trace

then I'll piss on everyone of them's face

but soon I hear the siren shout

all the cops are running out

soon all of them begin to surround

I got a tranq in my ass and I hit the ground

I wake up,and I'm seeing stars

my focus comes back,and I'm behind bars

every night I lay in bed

because there's nothing to do

some nights I wish I was dead

because I'm no longer with you

look what you've done,can't you see

what happends when you lie

so why the hell would you leave me

here to rot and die

why did you do this,you should have stayed

my soul's not something to sell

look what you've done,I've been betrayed

and now I'm alone in hell

I let out smoke in my breath

I planned to die by drugging myself to death

I grab the needle as I cry

stick in my arm as I hope to die

I puff out smoke as I sigh

this is the last time I'm high

so I'll enjoy every second of it

it's my last moments in life and I feel like shit

I reach in my dresser for a suicide pill

I plop it in my mouth and my arms grow still

it's the end,the last moments of fun

my arms are shaking as I reach for a gun

before I grab it,I can't see anymore

before I shoot I fall to the floor

I did every drug,including meth

now I've died from being drugged to death

this is it,my final ride

on a de-railed train to suicide

this is the last time I've cried

this train's path is about to collide

my daeth schedualed for 3:45

and soon I won't be alive

the train is bursting off the track

it's time to die,no turning back

setting fire to my soul

on this ride,I've lost control

here comes the final dive

soon all of us won't be alive

this is it,I start to cry

my final plunge,then I die

my final words,my last breath

every noght I pray for death

hatred burning in my eye

this is the moment that I die

this is it,my confession

after thses years of this depression

leave me alone,let me be

let me die and be set free

this is the moment I lose controll

hell is taking over my soul

my life is on a death ride

leaving me to suicide

I'm trying to rebuild my broken heart

but everytime it falls apart

all these years of feeling down

and people stomping my heart on the ground

I can't beleive I've sunk so low

so many years,death is too slow

I'm losing strenght,no longer strong

I'm sick of life and won't live for long

throughout my life I've never had fun

now my heart is broken and I'm loading a gun

I slice my wrist and enjoy the pain

my body grows cold and I'm going insane

I can't wait untill I'm dead

as I raise the gun to my head

I dropped the gun and began to cry

it's just to hard but I want to die

but I can no longer deal with life

so I leave my gun and grab a knife

I can't stand to live anymore

so I stab myself and fall to the floor

my entire life has fallen apart

because nothing could rebuild my broken heart

Why am I living,I want to die

every moment of my life is a breathless cry

I have no one to trust,I live in fright

I live in the dark to avoid the light

when the sun comes out I feel pain

I can't stand the light it drives me insane

I can't stand to be with you

I want to live in the dark,that's all I can do

I see the sun rise and I let out cries

it feels as if razorblades where running against my eyes

it's too painful to stand as my eyes begin to cry

I disinigrate painfully,for I must die

I have many markings of my life

many stories carved with a knife

every moment of my past

those times are gone but the scars will last

everday I feel betrayed

so I sit at home with a razorblade

it doesn't matter,sad or pissed

I run the blade across my wrist

I watch my wrist bleed and cry

I sit with a gun and plan to die

I raise the gun to my head

with a single shot,now I'm dead

I'm sick of you and the times you've lied

I'm sick of life and the times I've cried

I'm sick of cutting and the scars on my skin

I'm sick of arguments and letting you win

I'm sick of you blocking the t.v.

and I'm sick of you screaming at me

I can't stand having you in my face

saying get a job you worthless discrace

I'm sick of you pushing your way through

I'm sick of life and I'm sick of you

I'm sick of you breaking the news

I'm sick of you saying grow up or lose

I'm sick of hearing you always cry

the only thing I look forward to is when I die

no longer must I live anymore

for everyday is an aching chore

I must tell you I'm perfectly sane

although I cut myself to ease the pain

I must tell you that I feel alone

I call for help but no one answers the phone

my life had sparkle,now it's lost it's lust

everyone I turn to I can no longer trust

I keep running but I'm just too late

my life's stuck in traffic that's just my fate

my heart is sinking on a suicidal slope

I've lost all dignity,and I've lost all hope

every day I cut just to feel free

I'm sick of life so leave me be

for this girl I loved,she left me dying

I can tell you now I'm sick of crying

so I lye in bed with a nine inch blade

I keep on wishing that she had stayed

here drops the last tear I cry

I'm through with this,I want to die

I pray for my last breath

without a single fright

I'm looking forward to my death

upon the frozen night

I wait and wait,the I sigh

that's all I want to do

I've been waiting so long just to die

because I'm sick of you

the night is still untill I cough

and leave my soul to bleed

I dream of chopping your head off

but I never seem to succeed

so I grab a drink,a glass of rum

and yet remains on task to do

for this night,I pray death will come

but not for me,but you

I've waisted my life in endless vain

now it's going down the drain

no longer can I satnd this pain

this life is going to drive me insane

I've wasted my entire life

so I'll end it,with a knife

for all of these years I've felt like shit

I've walked in others shoes but the shoes don't fit

I've got to find life and it's special touch

I've been living in others shadows for far too much

I've got to live my own life

instead of grabbing my kitchen knife

once again my life's relapsing

and it feels like I'm collapsing

in the inside it feels like I've rot

now I'm doing drugs and smoking pot

I can't help it,I'm feeling too much pain

I'm cutting myself and I'm going insane

I can't help it but I can't talk to you

now I'm losing intrest in everything I do

but no one hears me or my cries

I come home in pain with blood shot eyes

everyday feels like I've died

you've asked me what's wrong but everytime I've lied

I can't tell you the truth,what's there to see

I don't care about anyone and it's eating at me

What's there to say about the times I've cried

I'm sick of life and I want suicide

one last tear there's something to do

a task of love and hate within

with blood on my hands I bring flowers to you

I've commited a terrible sin

last night you asked me to end your life from all your suffering and pain

I sat in the dark with the blood stained knife

it drove me mentally insane

through the dark glares my evil smile

there still remained something to do

my heart grew dim and my soul turned vile

my grave is to be buried with you.......