The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

So a good friend of mine is in the hospital with a concussion, severe lacerations on her head, and a bruised pelvis that they thought at first was broken.



Because of a drunk driver.



Who has already been treated, released, and bailed out of jail.

I swear, the commercial I just heard on TV started with "Ladies, do you have questions about your vasectomy?"



That's what I heard anyway. I'm hoping I heard it wrong.

..but I really don't care. More people need to read it.





Proper punctuation and capitalization makes the difference between:



"i helped my uncle jack off a horse"





and



"I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse."

So apparently I'm a self-righteous prick.