Conversations with ThothLestat -- part 26
Audrey:
How do they KNOW she's a virgin?
Virgin Coffin Pendant
(opens in new window)
ThothLestat:
good point.
She prolly has a MySpace page with lots of Hello Kitty heads & pics of herself pouting in a bathroom.... and she has written the word WHORE on her arm.
Thus, she's still a virgin.
*shrug*
Audrey:
It did say it was "detailed"...
ThothLestat:
i THOUGHT I saw her hymen but I didn't want to say anything....
Audrey:
*BLUSHES*
jerk.
I just made a burrito for my dogs and they enjoyed it greatly. Why do I have a feeling that I'll regret this in a few hours?
I think I have done this before.
Oh no.
Hmph.
COMMENTS
Wow... a few hours is good- typically with mine it only takes a few min :P
Oh poor Thoth............but I bet they loved it!
Are they sleeping with you tonight Thoth?? oh oh
lol i'd probably stay away from them for a while
good news!
they made it through the night okay, without any late-night trips to the back yard or deadly flatulence.
I'm taking this is a good omen.
There are window-washers all over our office building today. They'll be outside my window in about 5 minutes -- and I'm sooo tempted to put p0rn on my computer while they're here. I wonder if they'd see it. Since I'm at work; I better not. I'm pretty sure that's fire-able offense in the employee handbook.
*sigh*
Shit, they're loud. It sounds like they're kicking and stomping their way down from the upper floors. They are anything but discreet. STOMP.
STOMP. RATTLE. STOMP. STOMP.
Crap. They're here already. Everything in my office is rattling and shaking. WTF? I don't think they could be MORE disruptive if they tried.
Bastards.
Do you find it hard to eat while others are watching you?? I have that feeling right now. I can't work with someone RIGHT BEHIND ME. Watching. That's it, I'm going on a coffee break.
I wonder if they can read this.
DON'T LOOK DOWN, YA BASTARD!
TRY NOT TO BREAK THE GLASS, MMKAY?
COMMENTS
You know what's really annoying to them? Stand at the window holding a sign that says "DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!"
Hmmm... Maybe play the Benny Hill theme song as loud as you can?
If you have a laptop, put it on the floor and lay on your stomach in front of it. With your pants down. Oh and kick your feet playfully in the air.
^.^
You could have mooned them...heh.
I moved my desk closer to the window & left this on my monitor when I stepped out:
Strong words, I know.
LMFAO!!!!! Good ones, oh I needed that! Hey, I wonder if they'd jump back if you acted like you were running straight for the window....? Then again, the building including the windows, were prolly built by the lowest bidder in which case, the window might break...eeeekkk
you are better than me.. I would have hid and when they came to the window just popped out at them....
::evil grin::
bet theyd never clean windows after being scared like that again...
btw.... the computer sign you left for them....
priceless.
i'm just totally jealous you have an office with a window :P
although i am consoled by the fact you are not on the top floor ;]
hmmmmmmmmmmm.... thank you for my daily laugh Thoth.
LMAO--------- I am going to tell everyone in my office about this tomorrow!!!!
*giggles*
thanks for the smiles you gave me reading this
Perhaps they where on a mission for Fight Club?
I told my staff about this today and we were hysteral laughing!!!!
Thanks for making my work day a little more bearable!
Is it bad that I read this whole story while picturing you eating a banana...really slowly?
or would that be Project Mayham?
OOps, sorry!It doesn`t seem to work!
Try this link!
http://www.trilulilu.ro/JustNEO/85fd9c68d0b1dd
Hello, I am out of the office today and will be unable to answer this message until I return.
I'm out of town on business today to see some clients in south Georgia. I've heard there are a few little ghost towns in Coffee County and Dodge County, so if weather and time permits, I am going to see if I can find them. Though, in all honesty, there really isn't much to see.
Upton, Ga is about 60 miles away from one meeting:
Upton, Ga
Keep ya posted.
Sometimes, I really hate shaking hands with people.
I just had a meeting with a man who had clammy hands and the hairiest ears I have EVER seen.
I think I'm gonna be ill.
*KACK*
COMMENTS
ewww ewwwww ewwwwww!!!!
I don't shake hands anymore with anyone, I just nod at them as I keep my hands in my pockets or clasped behind my back. With so many shows and movies more people are becoming more aware of other people who have OCD or germ issues...thank you Monk!!! I actually had one person say something to me, but he handled it nicely, he asked..."germ thing huh?" I said, "Yes, sorry, but I have a compromised immune system." He was very understanding, and explaining I had a compromised immune system was a whole lot better and easier not to mention being slightly more tactful and polite than saying, “I find you totally creepy and would want to be shot if you ever touched me!” LOL! My daughter just looks at peoples hands that are offered to her and politely says, "I'm sorry, I don't shake hands, no offense, it's a personal thing."
The good news is the swine flu has only killed one person in the United States...
You might have scratched your balls first then put your hand out :)
I don't feel so bad about these open sores on my hands now...
*shivers*
Just imagine...
He could have had a rash and used a cream on it, blew his nose then shook your hand...
All the germy possiblities!!
*gag*
Lol, he also could of just had a dump...even peed on his fingers....
You're assuming that I haven't done the same thing. Give 'em the ol' stinkfinger.
*louder giggles*
Yes i hate that too
they should wear gloves lol
COMMENTS
Awwww, Thoth! You made a new friend, that's so cute *squeals a little*
I'm sure he'll be back; who could resist your charms? I couldn't and I'm not even the "breeder type" LOL
You are too much the charmer :P
hahaha! Now that girls have gushed you a bit. I like snakes too, they rock, but they cannot hear my man. I've talked to them and then read later that I might as well have been Charlie Browns teacher...lol. Meh, it felt good to talk with them anyway ;)
really? that mo-fo didn't hear ANYTHING I said to him?
Boy, do I feel stupid now.
agrees with Pixie sooooooo cute........maybe you can start a series of Childrens books!!! **hugs**
For one horrible moment I thought you were going to say you accidentally chopped the snake up!
Seriously dude, you have snake charming issues lol
*shivers in the not good way* I'm sure he felt your vibes and he could probably lip read too. I ran over one with a lawn mower and barfed all over my mom's front yard. I went and told her what happened and she told me to "Clean it out and finish mowing" I tipped up the lawn mower and passed out cold.
:) I love this.. the way you talked to the snake. Even tho I really don't like snakes myself it is nice that you got to share that time with him? her? it?
♥ Snakes!
I talk to snakes too. But I use my hands as well as my voice. ;P
I hope your little buddy comes back for a visit sometime.
Hey, Harry Potter could talk to snakes, why not you ? I prefer squirrels myself.
squirrels talk back.
and they swear a lot.
I can't say i like snakes cuz im always afraid they'll bite me even though one never has but i dun go looking for them either. lol I like squirrels too cuz they are always out to get a nut and i swear sometimes too. :P
Lovin that...
it is all about perspectives, you hate, you fear..
you admire, you adhere...
Like Vamps, just misunderstood...
XJmf.
i think the snake was charming you..
the way his beady eyes kept locked on you...
the way it convinced you to spread the word that it was a ferocious, deadly beast...
the way he hypnotized you into making him a home...
yep, you were totally under it's spell
It's Friday, and I'm in a strangely good mood so everyone gets 10s today!
Unless your profile REALLY sucks, then you get a 9.
*points at the whelps*
Yes, I've been drinking coffee for two hours! YEAH!
I should probably switch to decaf.
*trembles*
COMMENTS
YEAH!
Rock the decaf! Heh.
decaf is for pussehs!
Screw decaf.. switch over to crack tea!!! :D
Decaf shmecaf. I brewed me up a big steaming cup of super Irish breakfast black tea and got out the rating crook. Stand by whelps. So what if my heart sounds like a humming bird's.
Mine sucks nxt to your's lol...
But i have been away for a long while... Im on the case tho now... !st day back & im in a gr8 mood... so the welp's get a 10 to..lol
enjoyed reading.
COMMENTS
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AudreyMathildaTruin
21:22 May 28 2009
*laughs HARD* relieved a little.
dabbler
22:17 May 28 2009
I am confused.. not very much .. but still confused..
ThothLestat
22:40 May 28 2009
Read from the top down...
See, the pendant is shaped like a woman in a coffin.
How do we know she's a virgin?
There's only one way to know for sure, but the pendant obviously lacks that level of detail. And I suggest that it DOESN'T lack that detail at all. But first, I mock the ACTUAL virgins on MySpace who pretend to be sluts.
Oh, I SLAY me.
I really do.
Seti
23:16 May 28 2009
Na she ain't. I recognize her from a place I went while I was in ....er ...never mind...
AudreyMathildaTruin
23:43 May 28 2009
Stake me now. Just do it.
S0RVENA
00:44 May 29 2009
That's definitely not a pendant for me....
PhoenicianDream
15:42 May 29 2009
Well.. barbie lacks detail too, and we all know she's a dirty tramp whore. Besides, what kind of virgins hang out in coffins?
ThothLestat
16:34 May 29 2009
all those stories are based on hearsay, sourced entirely from a very troubled -- and mentally unstable -- Malibu Ken doll.
Leinth
00:55 May 30 2009
**laughs most at line, 'I THOUGHT I saw her hymen but didn't want to say anything'...................
Joli
03:47 May 30 2009
I want to comment on your conversation. I REALLY do. I just can't...I'm too disturbed by her tiny little head. She looks like the bride of this guy.
AudreyMathildaTruin
05:46 May 30 2009
I just looked at the pendant again. I think Joli is right. But the girl in the coffin. Not a girl. Broad shoulders, knees pinched together. ThothLestat, I don't think that is a hymen... I wonder how much augmentation like that costs.
Theban
11:40 May 30 2009
I don't care if she is a virgin or not! I have quite simply fallen in love with her...those butch shoulders and those odd looking legs.....
I want her now, all to myself...she won't be a virgin for long with me, if I could just hold her in my hand while I master......
ThothLestat
15:11 May 30 2009
But I know what I am, and I'm glad I'm a man,
And so is Lola,
L-O-L-A Lola...