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Good morning journal.

I don't have anything new to say these days. I feel like I am in a whirlpool that just keeps going around and around and theres no end.

Our hours are cut......I am now working 4 days aweek. they won't let us have off a monday or friday....lol no luck on that one. I am also being put back as a floating closer. which means I go to different offices and cover for others. I guess the alternative would be not working. So I will just keep my mouth closed and do my work. I am looking into becoming a real estate agent......however, it will cost me about 1500 to do it....ha.....yeah I have that just sitting around in petty cash....I wish. So I need to figure out the how to on that one. I will also be going to a meeting in August for Edward Jones, I would love to work for them. The position is in sales, and I think you start with a salary the first year then get put on commission only.....will see.

I am selling Avon too. Hmmmmm I suppose I could just do a bunch of sales jobs and maybe at least keep the bills paid.

The boys are on holiday at their dad's mom's place in the country this week. I miss them. Ha...when they are home I am ready to send them away...but when they are gone I want them home....boy am I wishywashy. :)

They start school in two weeks. One in middle school and my babe, will be in 4th grade. Damn time flies. Sean is just a bit taller than I am.....he is so loving looking down at me. And his voice, omg! its very low and loud....even when he whispers. lol. He is such a man already.

I can't wait for them to get home.

My mom had another spell....only this time it is on the other side of her brain...so back to the hospital, I doubt they will find anything, they didn't the first time. Who knows, I feel sorry for my stepdad....its really wearing on him. His health isn't the best either and its failing fast.

Aunt Ronnie, some of you know her, is going to the hospital today....they might keep her. She is leaking spinal fluid and its making her loopy....and she's getting worse. I noticed in her last fb post her spelling was crap.and shes very careful about that sort of stuff. She is starting to not make sense when she talks. I love her and pray to the Gods and Goddesses that she will be ok.

Well thats it for now.......I have plenty of other things to say but, they can wait.

Ok.......my doc has been after me for 5 years and today I finally did it.



I had my first mammogram. You know I thought going to the gyn was rough......ha......

my boobs are about average and let me tell yousomething. My right one still hurts a little.



You go into this room its cold you are naked from waist up. You have a cape on....that opens in the front. The tech. is a really nice girl....with freezing cold hands. you step up to this machine that is going to squeeze your breast untill it doen't feel resistance.....hmmmmmmmm........Im still thinking on that comment. first the right one, you face forward and she lifts your boob onto the tray....and lowers the top of the sandwhich maker onto it.....hold your breath cuz it sorta hurts....are you ok she asks...yes please take the picture....done...ok now the left one. Ok that wasn't tooooo bad. She lifts the left boob onto the tray smashes it again....only this time it seems to smash a bit tighter...are you ok? kinda, I grit out while holding my breath. Ok.....done....breath laugh the nervous laugh....oh look my boobs look like perfectly shaped half moons.......pretty....oh more pictures ugh ok. Now she turns the machine at an angle....left first this time. stand side ways with my left side ot the machine. She grabs the whole boob and pushes me into the machine while I raise my left arm up and over the machine here comes the squeeze.....omg....she squeezed tears out my eyes.....are you ok? please hurry I say as Im standing on my tip toes and holding my breath. Ok.....that sucked. Now the right side.......will this be the last picture? Yes ma'am it will...I'm sorry its very uncomfortable....I will be quick as I can. Thank you, I say. Turn right grab the whole boob and thrust body into machine while raising right arm up and over machine......cuz they want as much of that side muscle as possible too.......unhun....squeezeeeeeee and omfg, that is my collar bone shit...tears........ are you ok? Take the picture now please...I can't breath.....nearly fall out of the machine catching my breath. Ma'am are you ok? Yeah, just think my boob is gone now. Sit here and I will show these to the doctor and make sure he is ok with them or needs more........OMG.....please no more.

The longest 2 minutes ever.....ok ma'am everything looks great! You did fantastic.....thank you for coming in.



I'm not sure what to think.....I'm glad everything is normal.....but it hurt so much that there should have been something wrong for me to have to endure that damn pain.

But I am thankful there isn't.............if that makes any sense.

COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
10:53 Jul 03 2010

LOL, did you ask for copies of the pics?!! lol

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TheeLadyHawk
15:26 Jul 03 2010

Damn why didn't I think of that....lol

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RedQueen
21:54 Jul 09 2010

Just had mine done, sugar- I am SO with you on that...and not only did I have to go once, but had to go back for a repeat offense on my right one- I am still sore, but at least she had warm hands- course in the heat we have had up here, the a/c was blasting, and I was EXTREMELY grateful...lol

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So......I haven't talked to mom and I really don't want to right now. She left a message today crying and saying she was so sorry. I am going to just let it sit for a day or so. I just need some room from her.



Today we were told our hours are being cut for the rest of the month..........and next month.......I am certain the axe will drop on some. Sooooooooo

my pay has already been cut more than a thousand a year.....which hurts already, and now......this will cut it even more...I can't afford to work here anymore.



I'm feeling a bit numb.