Ho-kay, so...14:44 Aug 27 2008
Times Read: 680
I figured it was time for me to add a little bit more about myself, and my own personal situations (ish... You'll see) There's also a little bit on how to handle them as they come along. I'm not exactly in the best of moods right now, so take note: Nikki the Bitch is currently at play. I may apologize for this later, then again, maybe not. Depends.
1. I really am a nice person, however, I come off as a bitch to most. Why? Simple. If I'm a bitch, I don't get attached, so if things go wrong, I end up not caring. If I get attached, tears happen, and trust me, it's not fun.
2. When I say I love you, I mean it. I don't play around with that word. If I tell you I love you, it means I will be loyal to you to the very end (be you a friend, family member, significant other...)
3. Trust is something I greatly value. Break my trust, don't expect to get it back, unless you're a family member or an EXTREMELY close friend.
4. Once you loose my trust, don't talk to me because most times I will respond with hostility. Sorry, peeps, I've been screwed one too many times already for me to take crap anymore.
5. I curse. A lot. I know it's something I should change about myself, and I can usually control it, but when I'm pissed, hurt, or just having a really bad day, it comes out full force. Don't try to change it, it'll just get me saying all sorts of pretty and colorful words until I feel satisfied. I try to keep it to a minimum around children, and around people I know really hate it, but sometimes theres really no stopping it.
6. I've been called every name in the book. From bitch to whore. If you feel the need to call me names, be creative. I like creative, and chances are that if you've put me in a foul mood, it'll diminish much quicker if you were to call me, oh say, "dolphin turd". If I don't laugh then, trust me, I'll laugh later.
7. I'm not as much of an open book as you may think.
8. Don't make plans upon plans then leave me in the dust with my hopes high. It's not nice, and quite frankly, it hurts. If something comes up, just tell me. I'll understand, I promise. Or, rather, I'll accept it. Making plans with me then pretty much going. "Ehh... Fuck it, she's not really worth my time. I have better things to do," will hurt me, and... actually, yeah, that's about it. It'll pretty much just hurt me, and that's not very nice, now is it? Heh, no, I don't think so.
9. Respect me. I'll respect you, but you must respect me, back. If I say no, it's no. End of story. Don't try to change my mind.
10. Despite my bitchy mask, I do have feelings, and I do get hurt and cry easily. If you know how to comfort me at this time, fine. If you don't, please don't try.
11. I tend to push people away. I don't like some of the things in my past, and I'd rather tell them to you and push you away right away, than have you push me away later, should you take issue with my skeletons.
12. The quickest way to my heart is to be genuine. Don't be something you think I want you to be, just to get me to fall for you.
13. I believe in the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Yeah, it's the biblical version, but whatever. I agree with it. Of course, this also means that I must have been a psychotic bitch in a previous life because this life seems to enjoy dishing out the crap cards when it comes to me.
14. I don't like feeling like a jackass, so please don't make me feel like one.
15. I have a list of 101 things I want to do with someone before I hop into bed with them. It builds trust, respect, and it's just plain fun. I ask that you respect my choice in being selective with whom I choose to let in my bed. Don't make fun.
16. I have dreams, hopes, and goals. Don't smash them. It's not nice.
17. Sometimes it looks like I'm angry. Most of the times it's just that I'm sad about something, however I've learned that being angry is much better than being sad. I'd rather be pissed than cry.
18. If you see that I don't look like myself (ie- mad, sad, depressed...) and you ask what's wrong, don't be surprised if I say that I'm fine, or that nothings wrong. I know you can tell I'm not in my usual bright spirits, but that's my code for, "I really don't want to talk about it, please leave me alone." I'm not taking you for an idiot, I just don't want to talk about it. Don't drag me to a corner and try to get it out of me, because it'll just make me more upset. Just leave me be. If I want to talk, I'll talk. You don't need to know every single little bit of my life, ok?
19. When I'm in a happy mood, I have a certain way of talking. When I'm not, you can tell. Even online. My answers will be short and to the point without much more room to make further conversations. Just deal with it, ok?
*sighs* Ok, I think I'm actually done venting.
For now.
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