The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Its one thing to look naturally like another person. Its another to outright force your appearence to be like that of another person.



How many scene girls, emo girls, and flat out girls in general are all going to buy the same damn foundation, wear the same amount of eye liner and put on the same shade of eye shadow all in the attempt to be so non comforming.



How many fucking Amy winehouse wannabes' do I have to look at before I can see one woman who is actually herself and has the will to resist what popular media, and mainstream "indie" culture has been pushing?



How many boys are gonna keep wearing the pants that cut off circulation to their tiny dick and balls, wear checkered shoes stupid bandanas and believe that they are king shit of the never gonna be a decent male role model mountain?



I know I have a lot of complaints, but how much do I feed into this stuff... minimal at the most. How many of you out there help feed the beast by watching your shitty E! shows, and reality television. Buy the clothes that keep these things in fashion. The eighties were a bad time for a reason, everyone had their heads so far up their ass no one really wanted to see the economic recession that happened then. And now its only reared its shit filled head because people have lessened their triple espresso caramel grande what the fuck ever consumption, taken out something other than the local paper or new york times and read something that had real news in it.



But there are still some of you out there, that would rather run into a burning building to save a dog or other animal, than another human being. And you make me sick, you bitch about humanity and all the harm we are doing but you only care about the animals, you gave up on mankind. So how can we save ourselves if no one wants to try and pick other people up anymore?



When you stop trying to help your fellow man, then all the cynics win. The lazy bastards who just want to take and take, when no one stops them from taking all they can. We all lose, so its your choice to keep trying even if we have flawed systems, we as a whole still have options and choices. It just depends on how much effort you're willing to put into it.



We all have life to live, and we all want to get ours, but shouldn't we make sure there is something left for our children, and future family?

Gonna be gone pretty much for the next week, will probably get online briefly here and there via my phone but thats about it. Moving is fun... cept not really.

Its good to have friends that do what they can. But my doubts are my doubts, I'll never have faith that i'm a good guy. Smarmy, childish, arrogant, obnoxious, witty, funny, angry, and morose. When do all of these combine to create goodness?



Beginning to question my own intentions, and motives in actions these days. The only pure things i've done lately were for Ryan, but its not enough to do, but to know and I don't anymore.



we've all got our demons, but how do you fight when you're it?

COMMENTS

-

---

Bones
03:55 Sep 25 2008

Surrender?

---

cherryblossom
12:05 Sep 25 2008

Just do what you can, and you will be doing the best you can. Just think about Ryan before you do something?

---

POST COMMENT

I don't want to be angry, I don't want to cuss and yell. All of my frustrations are meaningless because in the end i'm still alive, my son is well and nothing else matters as far as my being ok.



Why can't we just leave it at that?

Wikipedia... Cause i'm too lazy to research anything myself. I'll rely on the information that most likely some 15 year old copied from their journals.

COMMENTS

-

---

Oceanne
19:51 Sep 23 2008

LOL funny.

---

POST COMMENT

Thats what I feel like, cause if you don't have a paper with your name on it you don't really exist in this world. Royals, had paperwork proving their lineage, their name, their mother and father. We do the same today, instead of inheriting millions, we inherit debt, disease, cancer, behavior, bad habbits.



I am unable to exist on paper in my apartment, because of past choices, I can't rent, hell I can't own a home at this rate. I'm out there, interacting with people. People know me, and still don't understand me. So ghost like it is, disappear, yet one paper I do exist on brands me evil in so many eyes. Eyes that don't have the right to judge me. Every year it gets worse, more is stripped from me until i've got all but a barcode and a chip.



A mix between Gattica and Equilibrium... It seems so likely to happen. Its hard keeping hope when someone in a nice mansion signs papers to take away more of your rights every year, when pricks in suits who haven't been sincere about anything since the first time they paid a hooker with a bag of nickles propose new laws forcing me into smaller cages.



I paid my debts, I paid my pennance, but I guess I didn't see the interest tba at a later date.

Another 12 hour work day woot. I'll be getting overtime this week. I think........ idk. Just out of it. Thoughts... as usual un-intelligable and random.

fuckme..... really guys, this name is A. Allowed, and B. wasn't pre deleted from the name creation database? GG guys.

Often our own worst critic, how much more my own worst enemy. To feel so low, like i've worked so hard just to be the same raging prick in the end. Nothing will satisfy, no peace of mind, no feeling of content.



Spiraling into self hatred, anger boils while I crack a smile and drive the knife deeper into my gut. I can't be remembered for anything good if all i've done is half hearted and foul.



... just want to vanish.

Me thinks its a bit lacking. I by no means am an english major. Therefore, my grammar, spelling, and punctuation can be a bit off from time to time, but there are some words that cause me physical pain when I see them mispelled. Is it just the fact that it is the internet that helps people get away with horrible spelling? Can I kill the person who started text speak? srsly...murder face murder face murder face murder face death by spiked cod piece ftw.



idk..thats all i've got..it could be longer..but i'm tired..and in pain...so uh.. you can go now.

COMMENTS

-

---

Isis101
03:28 Sep 08 2008

I agree...is there intelligence on the internet? It's almost like asking - is there life out there in the universe?

---

POST COMMENT

my previous journal entry....



problems with the babies momma...

I chose not to let my son see me in a piss poor mood around a bunch of "will of god" yuppie christians who may or may not have decided to ask me a lot of questions I was in no mood to be asked or answer.



So she replies with a text of...



"its really nice that you have that option to choose whens a good day and when its not."



My only reply, "... yeah just like I didn't have the option to be part of his life for over a year, funny how that shit comes around."



This woman seriously considered drudging up remnants of my past and involving police merely because she was pissed off at me while she was pregnant and a new mother. She would have ruined my life over being mad at me....



Fuck her, and fuck all you women who pull shit like that, or even entertain the thought of acting upon it. Shit like that is why guys who try hard to get past the hard times, the honest way continually get the shaft. Because of vengeful cunt bags with no shame, and no decent morals... yet somehow its okay to do these things while being a god fiend....

COMMENTS

-

---

Morrigon
02:50 Sep 01 2008

It's stressful having to be there with your child all the time. I can see why she would be frustrated, and why she would take it out on you, but it's still not right.



You think it's easy for her either?

---

ThePinja
02:56 Sep 01 2008

You have the gull to ask me if I'm ignorant enough to think it could be easy for her? ...I was raised fatherless my mother refused to cry in front of my brother and I, but just because she was deaf doesn't mean we were. We knew she was depressed, we knew times here hard on her.



She chose her path, and thus has caused me to make a few choices, as things continue to spiral out of my sphere of control the few things I can are harder and harder.



Its not fun being told everything I do, and love my son will not do because she'll tell him its evil..... don't misuse god for selfish reasons...the surest path to hell.

---

Morrigon
02:59 Sep 01 2008

I have the gull to prod you into perhaps seeing both sides.

---

ThePinja
03:02 Sep 01 2008

I've seen both sides for a while. She knows the answers to relieve some of the pressure but refuses. That isn't my fault, then again perhaps my character is the fault.

---

Adora
09:59 Sep 01 2008

Penguin...



You deserve better than this.



I miss talking to you...

---

POST COMMENT

FUCK YOU. Seriously, this is some bullshit..



that is all.