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You hit a low spot, then you have to decide what to do. I'm just not sure anymore. All I get is negativity, how do you maintain hope in a negative world? How do you continue to care about anything in a world that wants you to give up on everything? I love, I care, I want to do right, and want to make right, but all I get is pushed down. When do I get to tell you to fuck off? When do I get to tell you to shut the fuck up and leave me alone for five minutes. Just give me some peace and quite for a moment. Let me have hope even if just for a moment. Why must it all be so pessimistic? If you want sorrow, and to only look forward to the negative that is your choice, but let me have mine and look for the positive. Let me hope, if not, then go to hell and die away from me. I'm so sick of this, so sick of everyone telling me no. If you cared, if you were really there to help perhaps for once you would let someone who has hope, HAVE hope. Defeatism is not my personality, why6 must you try so hard to make what you know, what I live?!



You've had your life, your marriage, your children, your choices, why won't you just allow me mine? Because I am again in your house means you have to be a fucking cunt to me? I am somehow putting you out?! I offer to make things right, to compensate and you act as though I am unreasonable. Now I know why I am what I am, You raised mean, and I despise not only myself, but you as well. I have done this to myself, but that does not give you the right to treat me so much lesser, especially when I finally offer so much to make up for your own time and effort. Fuck you, fuck you and all you are, I'm so tired, it's so hard to want to continue like this. Everything I know is nothing, because I am half of what I once was. I am nothing without the other. No matter what anyone says, I feel it, I know it.

COMMENTS

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LadyN
13:19 Apr 15 2012

Its the same old story. All parents make the offer when you need it and then treat you like crap like you forced yourself on them. I too offered to compensate and was rebuffed in a much similar way. Problem is, parents are old dogs. Can't teach old dogs new tricks. Just take the negativity they are throwing at you and use it as motivation to get out. Just do what I did. Put your head down and save money like mad until you can get out of there.



If she is your other half, then save till you can move out to her area but into your own place. Proximity always helps when trying to repair what has been damaged by cheating issues. Best of luck.

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PandorasBx
17:32 Apr 15 2012

Sorry about your grandma Rod, she is a difficult woman that's for sure. I know you are doing right by her, it's only too bad she can't see it *hugs tight*.

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POST COMMENT

Angry women, jaded women, hell angry and jaded men, stop attacking religion OUT OF CONTEXT. If you do not care to take the time to read a WHOLE section of the bible, or for real intelligence purposes the entire bible itself, then you will find only hypocrisies, and double negatives. Each Book of the bible has different writers. Aptly named new testament was written by how many of the disciples? Quite a few, and from their perspectives none the less. Sorry, to piss you off, but I'd taken up theology since I could read about it. Truth number one, Jews, Christians, and Muslims all worship the same god, but sadly not the evolving messages of god. Truth number two, Men wrote the bible, the King James version has quite a bit left out, because it didn't fit his needs at the time. Truth three, men are fallible, and at periods of time in history, unable to understand the whole message that may be given to them by god, and the messengers.



But you can disregard my anger at your chosen ignorance, or you can get educated and stop taking shit out of context, stop focusing on the untruths that corrupt men who hide behind god have created to further their own egos, power issues, and inferiority complex's.



This rant inspired by some stupid womans angry rant about obvious old testament bullshit, and probably sharia law crap. The following was my comment.





What bible are you reading?



2 Peter 19 And So we have the prophetic word confirmed, which you do well to heed as a light that shines in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts; 20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of scripture is of any private interpretation, 21 for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of god spoke as they were moved by the holy spirit.



Prophecy is not the same as laws written by men abusing their claims of god. You are obviously anti god and that is fine, but do not discredit an entire belief because you are a jaded and angry woman. In Islam, women are to be respected, but also protected, humility, and modesty are paramount in islamic culture, men should not wear such showy clothing and jewelry as women should not either. Before going on and bashing religions for a few choice texts know that laws written by men are not always prophecy from god. Men OF god, are not the same as men who have heard the words from god. That being said, if you read the whole books, they usually tell you when it is their opinion, and when it is gods decree.