Dreaming23:29 May 08 2008
Times Read: 576
April 25
I stood nowhere and yet somewhere at the same time. I felt like I was falling but I was standing on solid ground. At first their was nothing but darkness, but then shades began to change, like erratic flashes all around me. From light to dark again. It was strange because I still felt like I was falling. Then I herd….no, felt….no….damnit, it’s like it came from inside of me. Then the flashes slowed and I seen the shadow of a rat run across my field of vision. I remember muttering something along the lines of ‘Wonder if he felt like he was falling’ For some reason I tried walking, and it worked. After I while I seen my closest friends Jimmy, Rj, Rj, Sean, John and Ashlee standing together, waiting for me. I walked to them, but for every step I took one would dissapear. First My Ashy Baby, then Rj Harper, then Sean, John and Rj Thomas was last. I tried running, but that didn’t do anything. After a while I stopped and sat on the ground crying. Then I seen myself dissapear in a swirl of pink, purple and blue clouds. I still felt like I was falling. Then a black bird flew around me, and I herd the words from Sweeney Todd ‘ Green Finch and Linnet Bird, Nightengale, Blackbird how is it you sing? Spending your life in cages, never takeing wing?’ It turned and began to fly aginst the swirls. Suddenly they were gone, replaced by a spikey shadow. Suddenly THAT was torn away by a giant paw like hand with extremely long claws. All through the dream I felt like I was falling. Weird so many animals were involved. Even worse I rememberd it all.
5am
Someone somewhere really dislikes me, or has a strange fascination with animals. I dreamt about Nicketta, my baby girl, my puppy. It was like a picture show, and I watched my memories fly by me. The way she was my puppy, the way I protected her, when she saved my life, how I slept in her dog house. Everything I know. Suddenly I seen myself, and I felt unimaginable pain and cold. I realized I was watching the night she died through her eyes. I could see myself, looking down into colorblind vision. I could feel soft gentle fingers running through my fur, comforting me. I felt a great wave of relief when I felt a head on my rib cage. I was seeing everything through her eyes. I was back in my own body as I skipped to the next day when I was burying her. I put her in her grave and pet her one more time. Knowing it would never happen again. Now that I’m awake, I wonder if it’s my fault she died. Maybe if I had treated her a little better, more like my princess maybe she’d be here…………..
April 30
Holy hell. It’s been about 4 days since I could remember a dream. Couldn’t make it 5 huh? Noooooo. Jackasses. Last night I was dreaming that I went down to the pond and Nicketta’s grave was totally uncovered. And I freaked out because If I had buried her she would still be under the ground. Where she should be now. I went up to the house and flipped on my old man. Mom and Heather and the baby weren’t there. I remember when I was done screaming Minnie started growling at him, I couldn’t tell why, but then he threw me against the wall. He was chokeing me, calling me worthless and shit, then……yeah…..When he was done he slammed my head aginst the wall again and when Minnie went after him, he kicked her into the wall and she didn’t get up. Before he could get me again, I took off. I ran to the neighbors and took a bathrobe from the clothes line and ran to the woods across the street from mine and ran as far as I could before it got totally dark. When I couldn’t see I stopped to breathe and I herd something fall. I searched the ground for it, and I found my phone. I didn’t question why it was there, and I called every number on my phone and no one answered. I was walking down the 104 on ramp twords Wolcott and Sean was going by in his purplish colored car. He stopped, and picked me up. The dream ended when I opened the door.
May 2
I’m now thinking ‘what the fuck is going on?’ These dreams have been going on for a month, but I haven’t written them all down., Maybe I should have. It’s weird. I was walking through the woods and I was singing ‘Brush Strokes’ and it was extremely foggy and cold. The mist got thicker and I continued to sing. Then I herd the whinnying of horses. I continued to walk until I found a dark clearing. In the middle was a tree that twisted on itsel Uner it was a dragon and a herd of Thestrals. One thestral with dark blue eyes changed into Rj Thomas, his eyes changing to match his own grayish. In the tree on one of the limbs was a panther with unforgettable green eyes, the left was dark, the right was brighter. That turned into Rj Harper, with his eyes as brown as I can remember. With maybe a hint of gold. Then a brown bear that appeared from behind the tree turned into Sean. A black and grey American pain appeared with a golden puppy with light blue eyes on its back. They turned into Autumn and Cassey. I stood there, watching everyone. They all smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back. I wasn’t afraid of them. None of them. I felt safe, like I could trust everyone. Not evern the dark fog bothered me now. I knew they wouldn’t hurt me. I looked back to the dragon now. He had red eyes and scales that changed colors. He turned into Jimmy. I took a step twords them, and I hugged everyone. We all fucked around for a while, everyone picking on me as usual though we all stopped when we herd an unearthly call. We turned and faced the forest. Alls I could see were angry dark eyes with swirls and shadows around them. I looked into them, and realized the growling was from them. They seemed to look right through me, to my friends. Everyone then changed back and circled me, faceing the woods like they were protecting me. I looked at the backs, my heart pounding with fear. Something hard hit me on the head. I looked up through the dark trees and my heart beat even faster and I began to cry. The sky was blood red. I looked down to see what had hit me on the head, and found a locket with what looked like different roads circling the others and twisting around to the back. Inside was a picture of my baby brother. The picture suddenly changed and his eyes were closed, his face blueish pale. I dropped the locket and fell to the ground. All through this the roaring continued. I felt cold and alone. I looked up and everyone was gone. I looked at the tree, half expecting a crow to land on it. I curled up, not realiseing the roaring stopped. I felt something grab me, but I wasn’t afraid. I felt safe, warmer and calm. I looked up, and there everyone was, still as animals. I went and sat under the tree with my friends around me. Harper’s head was on my leg. I was leaning aginst Sean, Cassey was on my lap, Autumn lay to my left, and Thomas to my right. And all around us was Jimmy. We all stared into the dark forest at those eyes that stared, unblinking.
May 3 +Represents the dream+
+represents I woke up, wrote, and went back to sleep+
+I was walking down Orchard Street to go visit the guys. I got to the driveway ans looked at the house. I wasnted to go in, but I didn't want to. I looked up on the roof and there sat a sphinx with golden eyes, brown hair and dark brown fur. I blined and she was gone. I shrugged it off and went inside the apartment. I called ot to see if anyone was home, and got no answer. I walked upstairs and looked at the wall. On it looked like a thing Jodi had drawn for me. I knocked on Rj's door and opened it. Rj harper and Rj Thomas were sleeping. Harper on the bed, Thomas on the floor. I shut the door and went bck downstairs. I sat on the couch and watched Sweeney Todd. When it was over I got up. The boys were still sleeping so I walked outside. I looked at the house and shrugged, why not? I walked to the door and stopped. I thought I herd voices, like the day before. I shrugged it off and walked into the house and shut the door. I looked twords the basement and I thought I seen something move in the darkness, but blew it off. I walked up the stairs and the song 'I love my love' began to play on a piano that didn't exist. I stood and sand quietly 'Her chains she rattled with her hands and thus repied she, oh cruel were his parents who sent my love to sea' I stopped singing and began humming as I walke dup the stairs. As I entered the room next to the balcony, the one I think is going to be Peanut's room, the song changed.+
+I was back in the house, just now I was in the room above the basement. I looked out the window and in the reflection I saw the sphinx again. I shook my head. I looked around and realised I was on the couch, then I suddenly felt even more calm then I had before. Then I herd my dad's voice telling me how worthless I am, saying no one cares if I live or die. I let out a angry sigh and stood up and walked to the kitchen. I felt like I was being watched but I ignored it. I figured I could clean the kitchen so I took out my ipod and began to clean. I managed to get the whole room dusted but tehn I suddenly felt really cold. I turned and looked. I felt like their was something there, that I was looking right at it but I saw nothing. I tried to walk, but found myself forced aside, forced to walk around. My heart was raceing as I rememberd what Destini said. 'The woman hung herself on the stairs. A demon that was summoned here is in the dungeon, and theirs one in the attic too' I tried to force her voice out of my head as I turned twords the basement only to see that the door was shut. I should have left, but I didn't. Instead I walked upstairs, then up to the attic. I slowly climbed the stairs, my hand on the railing. I walked up slowly and I felt an extreme cold and a a warm pressence behind me. I turned and saw nothing, but I felt like I was being watched again. I stood in the opening of the attic and looked around. I now felt like I was being watched from the back and front.+
+A woman's voice was all I herd. It was...motherly. I couldn't understand what she was saying. Her voice seemed to overlap itself to much. I felt safe though. But there was something else, like I was in danger. I tried to look around, but I couldn't see anything but black. Suddenly the woman's voice sounded rushed and more quiet. Something about 'hush hush' and 'Not harm' She sounded worried, as if she didn't belive in her own words. I tried talking but my voice wouldn't work. It seemed me trying to talk worried the woman even more because she started singing what sounded like a broken version of 'hush little baby'. Her voice soon became inaudible and it was overlapped by a darker more dangerous voice. This one was deep and sounded like it belonged to something demonic. It was muttering something like 'Welcome, safe, beware, red eyes' Another, somehwta lighter voice, one that sounded a mix between a man's and a woman's began screaming 'He'll kill you. The one you think loves you, the one who pretends, will end your life' I tried talking again and it worked 'Who?' my voice was hoarse. The voices all stopped and I gulped. I was about to ask again when the deeper voice answered 'The one who pretends to care, he will kill you' I kind of snorted 'More then one person pretends' at this I felt my throat close and I gasped for air as she deepest replied 'Trust your instincts' As I felt my eeyes close I herd the woman say 'First impressions last a lifetime. Trust your first instinct' I continued to gasp for air. I herd the words being sung 'Nothing's going to harm you, not while I'm around' then I herd a faint voice calling me. I suddenly jumped up with a start and looked around. I was back in the apartment looking up at Rj Thomas. I looked around. Rj Harper, Nick, Destini, Sean and John were looking at me. Thomas asked if I was alright, I nodded and realised I had been crying in my sleep. I wiped my eyes and hugged Thomas. When I looked up, the credits for Sweeney Todd were playing, and I watched as it all melted away. Thomas and I were back in the clearning under that twisted tree. And in the forest were those eyes burning with hate.
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