The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I don't know that I should be writing about it, but I fed on my two best and closest friends last night. I know they are both healthy, and so not a threat to me. I experienced something very strange that night--pain in my mouth, like someone was trying to dig my teeth out with a dull blade. My heart started pounding and my friends' pulses grew louder and more prominent in my ears even as I tried to ignore them. I didn't know what to make of it. The pain got so bad that I finally just begged them to let me feed--I'm not one to force someone into it--and even the feeding was different than it has been in the past. I felt...I don't know, is feral the word? Like I had to take as much as I could get, and if they'd tried to stop me I would have become hysterical. I fed on one of them, and stood there a minute, trying to see if I'd had enough for awhile, but then the pain in my mouth returned and I had to feed on the other one. They were both shocked by what I'd talked them into, but they were kind to me afterwards, so I'm grateful all around. I finally felt well enough to stop, and I did stop, and then the impulsiveness kicked in.



That's the part I hate, in the aftermath of feeding, the way I completely stop thinking and just act, no matter what I might do. I got mildly physical with my guy friend, and now I despise myself for it, because I know I wasn't in my right mind when I did it. It was the blood. It's always the blood. I'm not bitter about drinking it, it's simply who I am, but I really wish I could reign myself in better after I've fed. I guess that part will still take time.



Raine

The Mad Mistress